There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Tag:
Guts
Protected: Please despise me. Because you should. It’s normal if you do. I do too.
written by whiskered-fish
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I am destined to destroy myself my darker thoughts may lessen from time to time but they never go away the need for physical pain and inebriation holds me down. For every good day there are thousands of bad ones. I’ve never done anything good for myself. I convince myself I don’t need to eat today get blackout drunk grab a razorblade or hunting knife and cut myself open and watch the blood pour. I can keep myself busy and not think destructively but when I sit and think for 5 minutes I think about shotguns and razors. No one cares to be around me […]
I don’t want to die, but I made my mind: I have to. Unfortunately, I’m such a coward! It’s been month since I took the decision of killing myself. Months… And I keep postponing it, like everything else in my life… I would like it to be easy, but it’s not. It’s so hard to think to myself “This is the last time I see him/her. The last time I eat chocolate. The last time I take a bath.”, for everything…
I think that my suicide is so difficult to commit because I took the decision with my brain, not with my guts. I’m unhappy, […]
so i know i have fucked up yet agin i keep fucking up its my fucking gosh darn emotions i have such extreme anxitey i dont feel safe i dont feel okay i feel lways on edge i defintley feel tense i mean i dont just know anymore i feel like such a loser i wish things were the way they use to be i dont liek how the future is looking i dont like how things will end up and i fucking knew it i fucking knew that life was going to be horrible and it keeps getting shitty and i guess it could […]
ive had a killer headache all day. even though my morning started off pretty good and ive had a low stress day i just feel like shit and dont feel good at all. it dosent help people asking me if im ok when they dont want to know the answer. dont ask me something if you dont want me to tell you the truth. you only like the happy, stoner, party side of me so dont try to get to know the real raw me no one sees. yea you used to know me but then what happened, you put me in a fucking mental […]
So..like..what the actual fuck?
I’m not one of the prettiest people on the planet but, seriously, so many people are “in love” with me, I can’t seem to get a grip on it. There’s this boy that I’ve been talking to that says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and, honestly, I’m okay with that because I feel the same way. The thing is: he started out nicely and we got to know each other like friends first, then brother and sister, and now, he wants to go out with me. Woo.
Then, on the other hand, there’s a boy I knew […]
When I look forward and try to picture my future I see absolutely nothing. That petrifies me, that feeling of dread catches in my lungs and I don’t know what to do. How do I make it go away? Dear god I need something. The blade is not enough anymore, I love her, I always will, but it’s becoming dull. I fantasise about suicide, the how’s and when’s … pills or hang from a rope or a trip off a ledge, if you dare. I want more than anything to make it stop; I need it all to fucking stop. I have never attempted, I […]
Where to start..
I guess with how I’m feeling right now. I’m doing awful. And by awful I mean I want to kill myself. I wish that sometimes I would get the guts to try it again. Or I wish I would have died the first time.
My boyfriend has depression as well. And when he is having a bad day he just goes home. (Normally he stays with me as we mostly live together) Like today he got off work early. I didn’t know what time because he never told me. He just said he was having a hard time and didn’t want to […]
I am here today coz i’m feeling lonely and sad… not reached the depths of depression yet…. but i have started falling again. what do you do when you know you can open up to someone who will help you out of the muck that you are in but you just cant call out to that person coz you dont want to be a burden or coz your friend is too busy…
i don’t know… just sit and wait for life to pass on… i know i don’t have the guts to kill myself, at least not right now… and i dont know what i should […]
IÂ have never known innocence.
It has been pain and loss and death
since before I could store a memory.
And now I am asked to be normal.
I am asked to pretend
that my childhood
was warm and innocent.
Innocence was ripped away
at the age of six,
surrounded by hands
and pleas and tears
and blood to be kept secret.
But begging never gets you anywhere.
Innocence was ripped away
as I laid next to my best friend
at the age of 13
whose heart had stopped beating,
while mine took
just a bit too long
to cease.
Innocence was ripped away
with the last words she heard from me,
“I forgive you, mom.”
I was 14.
Innocence has been ripped away from me
every time I walk that […]
“Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me: I quit!’â€
― Bill Maher
“When you’re young and healthy you can plan on Monday to commit suicide, and by Wednesday you’re laughing again.â€
― Marilyn Monroe, My Story
“We cannot tear out a single page of our life, but we can throw the whole book in the fire.â€
― George Sand, Mauprat
“What’s the big fucking deal? Lots of amazing people have committed suicide, and they turned out alright.â€
― Emilie Autumn
“I simply wondered about the dead because their days had ended and I did not know how I would get through mine.â€
― James Baldwin
“She […]
Just went on my last holidays, it’s pretty neat here. Two days ago I visited the bridge. The water is almost 4 meters deep and there are strong currents. The currents are something I’d like to have. The stronger, the better. They are so strong they are visible on the surface. The bridge is in the close proximity of something I don’t know how to call in English, but the idea is that this is kind of thing which people use to make water deep or shallow. It’s a barrier for water. The currents are so strong here. I think it will help me drown […]
So I’ve been thinking about the Helium method, since its the least painful, and seems the quickest.
I do not have access to firearms, and dousing myself in gasoline and lighting a match doesnt seem like a peaceful and painless way to go out gracefully.
And no, please no “dont do it” this website is for those of us who are ready to make the final step, and if i cant get the helium method to work, i will just have to go out on the train tracks, and wait for a freight train, although I think it might hurt (even for a split millisecond) […]
i remember when life was fun, it was exciting and adventurous. i remember as a little girl, sitting in class dreaming of growing up and travelling the world. i remember dreaming of the places i would go, and the things i would do. i remember dreaming of my career, and the love of my life. but now, i sit here in year 11. life seems to have gone so quickly, i walk through the hallways at school as a  nobody. invisible and unseen. bad thoughts running through my head, constantly. life seems to be a burden now, a task, something i must endure. yet no […]
When I started high school I was a normal girl, I liked to laugh and make people laugh, I was loud but it wasn’t an obnoxious loud I just spoke my mind. But I started high school in a small town where everyone knew everyone and they didn’t accept outsiders, I was the outsider. I got bullied every day, by second semester I was tired of it. I felt bad for being weak under the pressure, so that made me feel worse. IÂ was always very insecure about my weight but it got worse in ninth grade, I took handfuls of diet pills everyday. I started […]
My name is John I still feel depress after 10 months my ex gf dump and say ” left me alone “……. I can’t be happy I don’t know why…..she don’t contact me anymore. since she dump me but still I have her friend in my facebook and Yahoo sometimes I saw her and i feel really bad about it but I can’t eraser her I don’t have the guts…. I miss her a lot but still I don’t wanna she back
I don’t wanna back with her anymore she is not worth it but still I miss her …..I know sound dumb I been with psychics some […]
that’s it official fale at life I suck so much I cant even kill my self I haven’t stopped crying these last few days waking to school in my room it dosunt stop I told the people that mattered  in a litter that I sent I was going an this is my 14th attempt people will think iv not got the guts or im doing this for show next time I feel like this I won’t even bother maybe ill get a gun
I’ve been so close lately. I think about it constantly but I would never do it. I just stare at the pill bottle and wonder how I don’t have the guts to do it. I just don’t understand anything anymore. I am so confused and I don’t think I am getting the help that I need in daily therapy. I go to a treatment program and now they want to send me to an eating disorder facility. I don’t know what I need anymore all I know is that I can’t keep going on like this in agony. But I do have something to look […]
I feel so unsure about my life at the moment and I don’t know why.
I don’t know what to do after school and I am generally unsure about myself.
I am a 17, soon 18, year old male and I feel pretty much useless at the moment.
I have a great family and I don’t want to hurt them. I know that suicide will hurt them a lot because my uncle did it not too long ago…
I have never seen my grand parents so sad as they were after that. I just can’t stand the thought of doing that to my parents.
But at […]
Newer Posts