So, im new here. Ive had manic depression since i was a child. But in the last few months ive been on a terrible low. I was thrown out of my house, due to an argument with a roomate that escalated to blows, they had a kid, they got to stay. So now im living in my parents basment, i lost my job when i lost my place. Realy the only thing keeping me sane at the moment are the chemicle kisses (drugs) and my childhood friend… But now he is trying to get clean… And i support his decision, drugs are bad…. Mkay? But […]
(Assignment from one of my classes. I had five minutes to write this so it’s not my best)
I’ll never write about your
fastened locket, feather locks
hair up high and floral tops
silky skin and warm embrace
your voice your laugh your fucking face
your hands and how they’d fit with mine
your telling tales and wasted time
the tethered rope, your naked neck
I said I’d never write,
and yet-
A long time ago, when I was still in high school, the English teacher’s son killed himself.
He hung himself from a tree in the back yard, using a dog leash.
There are two things that still stick in my memory all these years.
One, the teacher had trouble acknowledging the truth of what happened. For a long time, she stayed in denial. She insisted it must have been an “accident”, because she couldn’t accept the fact that he had been suffering enough to make this kind of choice.
Everyone else in the community knew the truth of it, and they were sad and shocked and confused (and whatever […]
day after day, i wish i could be dead. I wish I could just disappear. Everytime I walk, move, talk you name it. I know everybody else hates me. So I’m just realising more and more that I really don’t have a reason to ‘ve Alive. I tried to wait it out. But I just can’t anymore. It won’t get better. It’s the same shit everyday. Go to school. Pretend. Be ignored. Home. Everyday Mon – Fri. I’m realising that no one even cares, and the progression why I am still here is because I’m too fucking scared to end it. My stress levels have […]
Gettn super high tonight leaving the drinking for tomorrow. So yeah ima be up allnight. Its sad that the only way i can get some sleep is by being drunk.
would it be so bad if I committed to an attempt? I feel so shit all the time and it’s stuff that has been present all my life, it’s something that I know isn’t going to improve to normal levels. For example I’ve always been cynical, now I’m super cynical but I don’t see myself becoming someone who just isn’t cynical. Oh sure it can get better but it will always be there and it’s going to eventually cause me to fall down again
So would it be bad if I just make an attempt?
And what if it’s someone that I know has a high success […]
High school, a dangerous place for meet mortal teenagers who doesn’t have the looks or requirements to fit in high school. I know the feeling. My story is a little different. It’s not that typical nerdy girl is alone and all of a sudden she gets friends and moves on. No. That only happens in fantasies. I’ll start from the beginning. All through primary school I had friends. Lots of them, in fact. Some how in the 5th grade, I had a best friend at that time who always got mad at me for not doing what she did, obviously for the sake of friendship, […]
Yep, still alive… As a pathetic loser who doesn’t have the guts to off himself already and quit cancelling his plans so he can get high ”one last time”…
Can’t even get high now, as my family is aware of my monthly income and I can’t buy shit without them knowing I spent the cash on something.
i dont know if i can go on anymore i practically cry myself to sleep every night , i do nothing throught the day but watch tv or think about how i used 2 get high. idk what to do i see nothing changing anytime soon i just want the pain of living 2 go away its said when you have a better life dreaming then reality.
24 years old female. My life has two parts: Happy with obstacles for 14 years and been miserable for the other ten years.
Before you read, please don’t forget that my experiences that I’m going to write, happened when I was a child and in my teens. So evaluate them according to my age that time.
Happy with obstacles happenings:
* At the age 4, my parents divorced. I’m with my mom since then..
* My father was away in another city but we adored each other so much and he was proud with all the qualities I have. We spent the summer holiday and semesters together. […]
Its not suicide I’m scared of, its what might happen if I don’t succeed.
What would my mother do? Would she pretend that it didn’t happen just like when she found out I had hurt myself a few years back? Would she disown me? Or would she be there for me and get me professional help?
What would my friends do? Would they call me an attention whore? Would they completely bail on me? Or would they stay with me and help me?
And school. What would happen with school? Would I get looked down upon my all of my teachers? Would they not take any notice at the fact that […]
I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore. Almost feels like I am just wasting life away. I have no idea what I want to do in life. I thought I had it figured out in high school, but when I realized I wasn’t able to afford university, I felt depressed. The reason I got good grades in school was to get into university; now I had to settle with community college. And if I was going to community college, what was the point of getting good grades? What’s the point of straight A’s if you go to community college? They don’t care. When […]
my heart: broken into a million pieces, my brain: shattered, my soul: no where to be found. I feel as if my body roams this earth but I am already deceased into the dark shadowy pits of hell with no where to go but down. I can physically feel the overwhelming heat burning through my body. my cries for help are consistent and as loud as atomic bombs hitting the ground. yet, no one seems to hear a thing. I’ve realized I’ve fallen so deep in this trance that no one is there to hear me now. hitting rock bottom is an understatement, people go […]
I’m currently planning on starting up a support group or club for my school. I’m a sophomore in high school and I want to help people. There’s so many of us in my school and I want to help people. I could use any suggestions on how to get people to show up and what I should do to help. Thank you to anybody that can help out
This is my first post on this site so I am not used to this type of thing. Getting to the initial point, I was always the outcast in my home town, by both my family and in high school. Everyone else at school was happy and I never was able to make any friends through my 4 years. I told my family about this and they told me that it was me, I was called antisocial and a loser and all that. I believed them, I still do to this day. I don’t want to go into all the details of what went down […]
I can’t stop thinking about him. I crushed so hard on him in high school and no matter what, I cannot forget about him. He radiated absolute joy, and no matter what silly or stupid thing I talked about with him, it felt so good. I’m terrified and so saddened that this has happened, or that these suppressed feelings may continue to eat at me. I can’t keep this down, as it always comes back up and I am in tears again. Perhaps it’s stupid, absolutely meaningless and totally irrational, but I can’t deny it, and the fact that I haven’t told him or anyone […]
My story started when I went to high school. Everybody thought it was a fantastic place, well… not for me. It was a fiery pit of nothing. Nobody liked me and I didn’t like anybody, I was a loner. I was constantly bullied but the bullies didn’t realize they were bullying me. To them it was teasing, it’s not teasing when someone’s feelings get hurt. Then again being a teenage girl, it doesn’t take much to hurt my feelings. Anyway, I kept getting “teased” and one day I walked out of my classroom and ran into the girls’ bathroom. Unfortunately I was found by the […]
I’m beginning to lose my voice; not through a health condition or illness but because everything I say is meaningless…no one listens and I know deep down I’m not worth the time. I’m not funny and I say idiotic things, you’re suppose ignore stupidity right? I guess it makes sense now. I’ve been feeling like this hole in my chest getting deeper and deeper and I know it’ll eventually eat right through me till I’m completely erased. And to be honest, it relieves me. Maybe someday soon I’ll actually work up the courage to finally do it. It just gets so lonely.
It hasn’t […]
I don’t think people understand the true meaning of depression, or what it really is. When you are depressed you see your life as something meaningless, hopeless, worthless, loneliness, and the list just keeps going on and on as it continues. I attend a high school and people notice that I’m always somewhat depressed or feeling down but yet people never approach me and end up ignoring me and don’t really seem to care about me or what I have to say. When people do end up approaching […]
where to begin?? well it started 7 years ago when I just left foster care. my life was great I was in high school at the time and I was looking at a bright future. but it went down hill because my feeling of loneliness was getting to me . I felt like I had nobody. my best friend at the time was gone from my life and everyone I thought were friends just shitted on me. I felt ignored. as a teenager dealing with depression and having to develop psychotic depression really really can screw with your mind. my first thought of suicide was […]