So just had a huge blow out with my family. My mom fired me from work and I don’t know what to do. I always feel so alone when I’m home. Like I feel kinda invisible. They don’t need me. They have my cousins. They probably wouldn’t even notice if I died. I’m just a bother. A fuck up. They would be better off with out me. Maybe I should end it all. It would make everyone happier. I mean hell all I am is a disappointment.
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You told her you hate her
And want her to die
So she thinks to herself
Maybe you’re right
I should just take this knife
And bleed once again
One scar turns to 5
And 5 into 10
And now thanks to you
She’s given up on her life,
Do She reached for the bottle
And took many a pill
But you never hated her
Or want her to die
But now it’s too late
Cause she went home and thought
Suicide!
Okay so I am brand new here and kinda awkward about it. But I’m going to use this as a place to vent and stuff.
So I am your average teenage girl, with a slightly disfunctional family.
I have never meet my birth father. My (now ex) step father is a pretty alright man. And my mother is a monster, I will get into details about her later.
I have many brothers and sisters, but only few whom I have actually meet, and only 1 that I have grown up with. My older brother (by 9 years) hes.. well I dont know, he doesnt exactly […]
I glanced up at my alarm clock, the time was 1:13 am. It was time to go. I put my shoes on and got my jacket. I creeped slowly down the stairs and took an apple from the kitchen and put it into my pocket. Downstairs I pulled out the nail that holds the windows in place and crawled outside. It was a nice night, quite calm and the moon was bright but obscured by clouds. I walked up the side of the house that I lived in and started pissing behind a tree. I looked up the road a bit and admired how the […]
We are here, we are here, we are here!
Who wants to be ignored?
Who wants to spill their guts and be met with the snores of the disinterested masses?
Who wants to reach for help and get knocked back on their asses?
We are here, we are here, we are here!
Who wants a little more?
Who wants to not have to implore some poor friend-relative-stranger to dip their toes into the danger of caring even a little?
Who wants to stop whittling away at their lives and themselves and see with new eyes?
We are here, we are here, we are here!
Who– tell me now– who […]
… and at the end of my rope. I don’t know where to go or what to do. I have attempted suicide twice and am clearly too inept and too much of a coward to end my life properly. I have been dealing with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts for fifteen years and have been on a variety of medications and have seen three different therapists to try and fix the problem. Today, I was told my feelings were (verbatim) “bullshit”; followed by a laugh and the shake of a head. The appointment ended with her saying “you make me laugh”. Thanks Paula.
I can barely […]
So, tonight I go to church with my girlfriend but she seemed to be to herself so I begin communicating to her god sister who made me highly frustrated. So, I speak to my girlfriends friend and so on. No physical contact with any of them, no intimate talk just laughing and having a good time. And every now and then I tried bringing my girfriend in but she just wouldnt. Later I text her god sister apologizing for being sensitive as she told me she was joking. Even later I text my girlfriend and let her know im home and ready to call her […]
I am so tired of living this way. I am 29 no job no home. Living with my fiances mother who hates me… I don’t know what to do or where to go… I honestly believe that if I died tonight no one would even shed a tear… they would all party…
So yeah, my title about says it. Here’s a little about me. I’m a 21 year old male that’s completely lost my drive. I have no hope. I have nobody. The two surrogate parents I had died within two days of each other. I have around 40% mobility and strength in my hands due to sindactilysm (look it up), so I’ve been laid off from every job I’ve landed due to being so damned slow compared to other employees. It’s not bad enough for disability. I lost my home already and I live in a parking lot trailer, temporary courtesy of a church that took […]
So, I had a conversation today:
Me: Hey…
Sister’s friend: Hi (my name), how are ya?
Me: Alive.
Sister’s friend: *nervous laughter* Well, that’s good.
Me: Depends on your perspective.
Sister’s friend: *more nervous laughter* You’re funny…
This aggravates me, far be it from me to seek attention or, god forbid, support, but it seems like people, especially the ones around me, feel comfortable ignoring every snide and brutally honest comment I make, do I have to hold up a sign?
Hell, while I’m reminiscing, gather ’round kids, let me tell you a story:
Late(ish) last year, I was walking home, along a busy street, when some kids started […]
In the 23rd of August, 2013; I made my very first post on this website entitled Forgotten. The post was about how I had been dealing with depression due to relocation, loneliness, a growing anti-social behavior, and the loss of many friends in my hometown. I moved quite far from my home and lost many friends and dealt with depression for the past couple years. Now I have just been given news that I might have to relocate once again… to my hometown. At first I didn’t take my mother serious and said, “I would love to move back! Moving back wouldn’t be a problem!” […]
I know I posted earlier, and I am afraid it IS coming very soon. But I just have to get it off my chest.
I don’t deserve to work my ass off on 8-10 hour days for 3 hours of pay just to come “home” to a place I have to leave in a week, with nowhere to go after the next week, with my jobs on the line at risk of losing all income, just to cry all god damn evening until I finally pass out for the night.
I deserve a full time job that I can live off of.
I deserve a place to live.
I […]
My mother is a lesbian. She hasn’t come out to me or my older sister yet in years. She and my father have been divorced for over 10 years. It’s a secret that I dispise having. She puts it in our faces that she’s gay and has and has had girlfriends. Recently I’ve been really depressed and she’s been putting it in my face that I’m wrong and that I’m her most problematic child. My sister is 7 years older than me. I am 19 and she is 26. She is living at home and has been living at home ever since she back from […]
I already picked a method. I’m going to strangle myself with a belt. I want to do it right now but I’ve not left any notes, or organised my belongings, haven’t written a will.
Could anyone advise me on how to do that quickly and tell me what’s the best place to go to once I’m done preparing everything? I don’t want to do it at home because I don’t want my parents to find me.
I’m 23 years old still living at home with my mom. I have no goals or ambitions. Everyday I sleep, eat, work, repeat. I have no social life, never even had a girlfriend. I only have one friend and we’re drifting apart. Im suffering serious depression and anxiety everyday but have no one to talk to about it.
Sure it would hurt a couple people a lot if I killed myself but if this is all my life is, what’s the point? I’m existing for the sake of existing
Ok ok I’m gonna try to calm myself down enough to make sense… I’m a veteran infantryman/machine gunner from the US Marines, I’m 27 next month, and I have a 2yr old son& and baby on the way… Regardless, I lost my job, I’m in Australia with no family, my partner can’t come with me for many months if I leave and I can’t take my son from her… It would kill her. My life has been contemplated in the past and now I don’t know what what to do. I’m not gonna be one of these ones that get into elaborate plans of suicide, […]
I wonder how my dad would feel if he knew I wanted to kill Myself so badly. It almost that time of year when girls go out to supper with their dad. I’ll probably stay home and cry but you know… That’s just me…
I can’t sleep until like one o’clock anymore because I don’t know. I just stay up at night with all of this energy and I feel like I need to go fight somebody or run a few miles. I can’t though. I have to stay at home and try and sleep. It happens during the day too, I’ll just feel cooped up and I have to do something, anything at all to get rid of the energy. I’ve literally never had problems like this before and now it won’t stop. I get angry for no reason and I start to freak out and all sorts […]
I hate myself and I feel like a complete loser. I used to think I was somewhat pretty, but now I feel ugly, especially on the inside. I feel disgusting and dirty like I murdered someone. I am taking summer classes because I decided I just had to double major in another useless liberal arts field and it’s hard not to compare myself to people out having adventures and experiencing life. I don’t think it’s that lame to stay in school necessarily but for some reason I feel like I’m horrible for staying at home with my parents with no money or job, crying like a baby every day […]