Tag:

it all

thoughts and considerations.

by Alan Ominous 3/2/2016

written by Alan Ominous

My marriage is ugly.

Divorce is ugly.

Suicide is ugly.

It’s quite a predicament. In my marriage, I am already dead. The pleasure of life is consumed. I really can’t paint a picture of how ridiculously abusive it is.

Suicide would just be an end to the torment. It’s a difficult thing to do. I don’t want “help” or “attention” so I’d have to give it 110%. Holding me back, so many passions. Prospects. Hopes and dreams . It makes me think, if I could let go of it all, I’d be OK in my marriage.

Divorce. Well. That’s just a lot of work. I mean, any guy can […]

3/2/2016 13 comments

My secret love

by Hampshire_Girl 3/1/2016

written by Hampshire_Girl

My initial and his form part of my butterfly tattoo – K and A. Unless you know where to look, they’re hard to pick out. Like a special code which requires deciphering.

I’ve known him for nearly two years. We chatted online for a couple of months before meeting up. He’s 40 next month (12 years younger than me) and shares a house with his parents and two dogs. He is on medication for depression and has […]

3/1/2016 1 comment

Protected: Blood

by whiskered-fish 2/29/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

2/29/2016 31 comments

Protected: It’s official.

by whiskered-fish 2/28/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

2/28/2016 46 comments

by Fadeto_black 2/21/2016

written by Fadeto_black

What is it all really

we may set ourselves up each day to be optimistic but bad things continue to happen I don’t want to get emotionally attached to anything anymore the despair when someone you care about hurts you or when inconveniences happen is just too unbearable

i don’t want to live life hollow and emotionless but there’s no other way to get by you have to shield yourself from pain is the pleasure really worth all the torment

2/21/2016 3 comments

Protected: Ramblings, frustrations.

by whiskered-fish 2/21/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

2/21/2016 8 comments

Fighting an unbeatable battle

by blank-clutter 2/19/2016

written by blank-clutter

Every day I have to tell myself that today is the day that I’m going to turn it all around. I say that I’m going to win all the battles of my day, I’m going to make all the right decisions instead of panicking in every other moment and getting trapped in a shell of anxiety and worthlessness.

The situation would be bearable if I was making progress or winning. But I’m losing. Life is kicking my ass and I just want to call quits. I’ve been trying for long enough. If I was meant to make it and be normal I wouldn’t be in this […]

2/19/2016 2 comments

I am obsessed about my appearance

by agonisedvacillation 2/19/2016

written by agonisedvacillation

I can’t help it. I’ve always been short for a guy but it never bothered me until a couple of years ago when my hair started shedding. I don’t want to be short and bald. Plus, I’m convinced that my hair loss isn’t normal – I think I’ve developed some kind of food allergy because after eating certain foods my face looks like it’s retaining water and the circles under my eyes get darker.

My parents won’t let me get tested because they say it’s too expensive and they claim they don’t notice any of the issues I’m talking about. It makes me feel like I’m […]

2/19/2016 5 comments

Miranda

by Kaylee_Bush 2/18/2016

written by Kaylee_Bush

The past couple of weeks, I’ve been really down on myself. Looking in while looking out at the same time. It’s been hard. I don’t know what I really want from life, I really don’t. If I am honest, not sure I want anything at all.

I came by this forum a few months back, been hit or miss for me, like a mad hit and run. You guys are great. And the I thought I would share something totally off the wall with you all. I was in very much in need of a good laugh, so I turned to a program to which again, […]

2/18/2016 2 comments

Naproxen

by peachy 2/18/2016

written by peachy

Did you know naproxen causes
Nausea
Blurred vision
Vomiting
Movement problems
Dizziness
Coma
Incoherence
Slow labored breathing
Stomach pain
And ringing in your ears?
A lot of the times it’s given to people who’d look like they’d abuse zanex.
A handful of these or more and you tear stomach lineing and end up with ulsers even brain hemorrhage after waking up from coma.
But coma sounds so sweet. Sure I’ll wake up with a couple ulsers and my stomach lineing will get torn but at least I get to sleep for more than just a day. Maybe a couple days or a couple weeks who […]

2/18/2016 0 comment

Protected: Smoke This Lard

by whiskered-fish 2/17/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

2/17/2016 30 comments

Valentine’s ….

by The White Rabbit 2/14/2016

written by The White Rabbit

Need I say more? It seems like this is the day for rubbing one’s relationship in everyone’s face and acting like you could be happy for them while they do.

Honestly though, it used to depress me more but now it just pisses me off. At least I don’t have to watch stupid fucking commercials about it all season since I don’t have a TV.

2/14/2016 9 comments

by run rabbit run 2/11/2016

written by run rabbit run

Not sure what to write…..so I am just gonna write. No editing, no revisions.

Didn’t think it possible that it would hurt this bad.

I hung everything on the line, sacrificed it all….and have nothing to show for it….

I guess the one thing I always really wanted was a woman to save me. Save me from myself…..

Now here I am where I started, and in worse shape. I would give everything to go back in time and do it all over again…..to relive the happy moments. To change the way things ended up

But that can’t happen. Life does not work like that….

I […]

2/11/2016 2 comments

No Title

by Alan Ominous 2/10/2016

written by Alan Ominous

Some song lyrics I wrote awhile back, without music I guess it’s a poem. Only sharing because I think some of you will enjoy it.

Part 1:

My shadows gone, today.

My own reflection, just looks away.

I’ve lost something, somewhere,

Down the road.

But it’s hard to remember,

what you didn’t know. . .

Part 2:

Sitting beside myself,

We didn’t recognize us.

So we parted ways,

Left myself in the dust.

Searching for answers,

No questions at hand.

Been looking so long ,

Forgot where I am

Part 3:

So I pour out a shot,

But I drink from the bottle.

And I figured it out ,

Somewhere near the bottom.

But when I woke up,

I’d forgot it all again…

2/10/2016 3 comments

Questioning loneliness

by Moneypenny 2/7/2016

written by Moneypenny

So why does that strange feeling of loneliness is so powerful and confusing?

Lots of people here relate to it.

But sometimes we can be alone and by ourselves without it hurting us, without it even matter.

And then agaim we can be surrounded by people and yet feel we are doomed by the solitude inside us.

What is it all about? How can it make us feel so bad, so wrong, so worthless?

2/7/2016 14 comments

Anyone want to critique my suicide note?

by ImSurroundedByIdiots 2/6/2016

written by ImSurroundedByIdiots

I think they are a waste of time unless you have very specific grievances to name. Nevertheless, I caved in and wrote one so maybe my dad won’t feel as bad…

“I know you love me, but you can’t force someone to stay alive just to make yourself (any of you) feel better. This did not happen because I need to take more antidepressants. No, it’s not because I need more vitamin D. No, it’s not entirely about Bryan. NO, this was not a rash decision I would take back. Do you know the lyrics to the M*A*S*H theme song?

Thru early morning fog I see
visions […]

2/6/2016 4 comments

Long exposure deth

by luka 2/6/2016

written by luka

I’m thinking of killing myself at the next train station. Trains pass by at high speeds. Just one step in front of it and it’s all over. I thought of taking my camera and make a long exposure photo of me jumping in front of the train. Would get a great photo as the end of my life. At least something to be remembered for

2/6/2016 5 comments

Family support

by Moneypenny 1/30/2016

written by Moneypenny

So I decided this time I was going to talk to my family about my being down the hill. I can’t remember why, it sounds selfish, but then no one may say I didn’t try it all…

My family is a mess. I grew up watching my mother crying in desperation almost every day because of her feeling lonely and impotent and not knowing how she was going to make it with so many kids (4). But we weren’t supposed to acknowledge knowing she was crying. I don’t remember what I though about it, but I remember it felt really bad. I remember that by then […]

1/30/2016 6 comments

Hellish night

by Rotted_Flesh 1/25/2016

written by Rotted_Flesh

Hello my deceased father, are you going to help me kill him or kill me? You’re standing in front of my bed talking to me in a voice I do not understand and sounds so foreign. The image of you is so clear it’s like you have been resurrected from the dead to see me one more time, I cannot tell if I am dreaming or awake, this is so surreal. I have to say it is nice to see you again father, even if I do not know your intentions.

Peering out my bedroom window to see my expensive exercise equipment on the lawn of […]

1/25/2016 5 comments

The Fear Part of The Cycle

by thehusk 1/25/2016

written by thehusk

Why am I back here? I suppose I’m afraid. Afraid that it’s all just empty. All the crap I fill my mind with to keep me going. It’s all just illusory. Most of it’s fantasy, and what isn’t is hollow.

And maybe sensing this makes me afraid. Because maybe humans need to believe in goals to survive and thrive. Maybe we need to believe that this one thing we’re focusing on will make everything worthwhile. Because if we lose that belief, then why do anything? Why not just lay down and die?

Apathy is a threat to survival. Maybe that is why I’m afraid.

1/25/2016 1 comment

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