Most of my life its been assumed that i would be the first one, and probably the only one, of my siblings to have a child. i mean, i love kids, everytime i see a baby, i have to hold them because theyre so cute and tiny. i’ve sort of wanted children too, to be able to raise a kid. but i know i cant do it. i cant do that. i cant because i know i will screw that child over. i am not fit to be a parent. its funny though, because my sister, who has disliked children her whole life, is pregnant. […]
I feel better (?) but I still hate my life. Why is it that I had a good life (for the last 3 years anyway) when depressed, but have a life I hate while less depressed? I wish my ex had the chance to know me like this, that I had a chance to feel less depressed and be happy with my life at the same time, even if it wasn’t for long. If only I had gotten treatment, real treatment, sooner- everything would be so different.
I am so lonely without my ex. I don’t feel like I’ll ever meet someone I love as much as her […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPD-a1FjUtU -Elliott Smith, Between the Bars
Don’t know how to put the link in vid format like all the cool kids sorry.
I am simply waiting to check out after my cat dies in another 8 years tops (since she’s middle aged for an indoor cat) seeing as how she’s the only person I can really think of who would actually be adversely impacted by my death with how she gets really down in the dumps after I’m gone just for a few days. I am incredibly brutally nihilistic at this point in my life which started from a very young age where I learned hard that there is no system of justice in physics so I don’t believe in good and evil, to me it’s all […]
This is embarrassing for me. I feel weak and pathetic and I have never shared these feelings with anyone (except for my boyfriend a long time ago who says I need to stop being so dramatic) I don’t have any real friends and have a difficult time getting close to people. My ex of seven years left me right after I had our twins. I haven’t seen him since they were born. I am a failure as a mother, too impatient and stressed. I get no break from parenting besides work, which fails miserably at supporting me and the kids. I am disgusted by my […]
This year is especially hard for me. I’m separated, no close family, no close friends, new medical issues, no job, no kids, no pets… No one to be with through the holidays.
I see post after post on Facebook of people with either friends and/or family. All i want to do is cry!
I’m in so much pain physically and emotionally, i just want it to stop!
it hurts me that my family didn’t work out the way I wanted- I wanted to have a happy family and I wanted my kids to have everything. I always thought I’d be a great mom and ever since my first pregnancy life has been absolute hell. I have three kids now and their father passed away a little more than a year ago. I was ok at first but honestly the longer I go without him the more I want to die. I have no home or car. I stay with my kids all day to take care of them because that’s what I […]
The only thing keeping me here is I really want to find myself again and see if I am any happier. So here is a really long vent.
6 years ago I was a teenager. I drove drag cars, I worked 2 jobs, I spent my days off working on my street car, I was a huge canabis smoker. I had a place to live and a room mate, and when I threw a party people came from miles around to be there. I would leave and catch a plane and go places on a whim because I wanted to get away. I was losing weight […]
in so tired and depressed, last night I told my husband I hate my kids. I do love them but I’m so depressed and not coping with the sleep deprivation from the babies. All last night I cried and cried all I was thinking about is walking to the train tracks and ending it!
I have a black cloud hanging over me and I feel guilty as I have 4 beautiful kids who need me. My heart is breaking and my head is all over the place
Today’s OCD thoughts are brought to you today by cheaters.
I have have been cheated on in every relationship I have ever been in and today o keep going over how it must feel. To be the person who has 2 ppl to choose from, a lot of times (in my cases) 2 people that love them.
I wonder what it’s like to have multiple people to love you?? I have never even had 1 person love me so it actually really is perplexing to me having 2 people love you or hell even WANT you. 9 hours this morning circling this idea in my head over […]
I’m 44, 3 kids, married twice, traveled, enjoyed and been very fulfilled. Despite being pretty poor I’ve done/had everything I’ve wanted cos I’ve made it happen.
5 years ago I got into a relationship with someone and after two years of long distance I moved in with her.
A week after I moved in, I broke up a fight behind her flat and sustained a fractured upper jaw (Le Fort II fracture) and the operation on my face resulted in Trigeminal Neuralgia. The most painful thing I can imagine. It’s known as the Suicide Disease because many people take their lives because it’s so bad.
I’ve seen doctors […]
I’m afraid of this being the worst birthday ever for me. Not that it’s ever meant anything before. Only once as a little kid was my birthday really celebrated. I was maybe 4 or 5 and my mom had a friend from work who shared my birthday so he came over for dinner and she had a cake with both our names on it and he gave me a toy guitar and strung it up left handed for me. Then a couple of weeks later my mom threw it out because “music is the work of the devil” and all that. At some point when […]
WARNING: THIS INVOLVES SCREAMO, ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK.
This song made me cry the other night, of course I have no right to cry. I have no right to be forgiven after what I did, but that ‘s besides the point. This is for all of you who do deserve a shot, and a second chance.
I used to sleep all day and all night. Now I sleep all day but I’m awake all night. I’m scared to go to bed. I fear the day that comes next. I don’t want it to be tomorrow don’t want to wake up and pretend not to be miserable. Don’t want to have to see people, talk to them. Interact with the kids that is my job. I’m just scared.
why is it that it hurts so much that the loss of the love of your life, kids and marriage just make you want to die?
does anyone else think like this?
nothing I do seems to take the pain away. I’ve followed all advice concentrate on yourself, give her space, your a good man you will find someone else. I know my problems compared to others including on this site seem small…but to me at least this is everything…yes I have a good job, two fantastic kids, I’m fit and healthy, good friends, but even with this I’m still at rock bottom! What is wrong with […]
I’ll keep this short.
I’m 36 male been suffering with stress and anxiety for a couple of years. Drove my wife and two kids away that I love very much about two months ago.
Been having counselling for a while and been on propanalol which doesn’t seem to help.
I don’t want to die but neither do I want to love this new life.
My wife says she loves me but doesn’t want to try and work things out. I have been a bit manic trying to get her back. She meets me now and then but only to be friends and have the kids together.
I have tried suicide […]
It would be immoral for me to have kids. To bring them to this meaningless world, full of pain, sorrow, death, hardship, work, illness etc. The good, happy moments of life pass away in the blink in the eye, while the bad moments of life seem to be much longer. The unhealthy things in life seem to be the things that bring us the most joy. People constantly looking for any sort of distraction or getaway such as weed, alcohol, love to make them escape from this terrible world momentarily. This generation is glued to their electronic devices because it is simply a more enjoyable alternative […]
Excuse the Selfie. I’ll explain why that’s here momentarily. Just bare with me.
How do you know if you’re falling?
Is it the wind rushing
Or your bones crushing
As you stop so abruptly
Is it the pain in your ribs
The numbness in your fingertips
Or the light fading slowly
How do you know if you’re falling?
Is it silent whisper
Or gentle kisses
Under the cover of the night
Is it soft touches
And sweet nothings
Almost inaudible sometimes
Which way am I falling
Am […]
I have two kids. I had them young. I am in college. I live in a trailer. I don’t have contact with my parents. I have overdosed once in my life, years back. I was sent to the hospital and there was a series of events. I feel low, just as low as before. I feel like a bad mom for being so depressed. I feel overwhelmed, I hate my life, I hate being alive. I love my kids but I feel bad I don’t love them enough to want to stick around. I don’t want to live. I really don’t. I have almost no […]
Hello Internet,
About me: I am a 12 year old guy that is not very happy but I am sad.
The Internet is my favorite place let me explain why, I have a bad life and school is the main problem, the teachers laugh at me kids bully me call me names etc… There is only some Pepole that are nice to me. Pepole even some of my friends make fun of me, I try to be playful but they say stop always very loud. I have been thinking of suicied but, I am very sacred of doing it. And the Internet is fun because pepole treat […]