Just slept for almost 24 hours. Had a stomach bug at work and couldn’t leave, because we were short-handed. So when I got home at 7am yesterday, I guess my body was like wtf. Now, it’s almost 4am, and I’m awake. And it’s so incredibly lonely. Life is so lonely. I didn’t want to get out of bed and be reminded of that.
System of a Down
Aerials
Life is a waterfall,
We’re one in the river,
And one again after the fall.
Swimming through the void
We hear the word,
We lose ourselves,
But we find it all?
Cause we are the ones that wanna play,
Always wanna go,
But you never wanna stay,
And we are the ones that wanna choose,
Always wanna play,
But you never wanna lose.
Aerials, in the sky,
When you lose small mind,
You free your life.
Life is a waterfall,
We drink from the river,
Then we turn around and put up our walls.
Swimming through the void
We hear the word,
We lose ourselves,
But we find […]
I think it was the first time this year. My social skill definitely have taken a toll because of it.
But i’m back alone in my dark small room now. ugh this is how my whole life is gonna be. i don’t want it. ill just die now thanks.
I’m sat in my bed at 25 minutes to midnight, trying to ignore my exhaustion in order to let my thoughts flow freely. I am not suicidal- yet. I don’t doubt that I possibly could be, someday, but for now I simply wish that I was. Sounds ridiculous, right? It makes sense to me. My current viewpoint on life is toxic to me, of that I’m aware, and that is because my mind is brutally honest when it comes to ‘the meaning of life’ and similar topics. My own mortality, along with everyone else’s, is what prevents me from being genuinely happy. I’m all too […]
I’ve been crying more and more often. I’m going on 57 years old, I’ve been living with HIV for almost half of my life, and in recent years I’ve been becoming increasingly resigned to the prospect of finishing out the rest of my life alone and unloved. I’ve been in two 5-year relationships in the past, both with guys who knew of my HIV status and accepted it, but ultimately decided that the grass on the other side of the fence was just a bit greener. It’s been 12 years since I’ve had the simple pleasure of walking up in the morning WITH someone else.
A […]
I don’t really know how the idea came to my mind, but I’ll do it.
As many of you know, my life is a living hell, and yeah, a lot of people wonder how am I still alive.
There’s something in this world that I love with all my soul, with all my heart. No matter what happens to me, that little thing puts a smile on my face. It brightens my day.
And now, I’ll try to make something for that thing. The thing that keeps me alive.
I’ll have to give up on the idea of trying to leave again, because I’ll need some money. […]
So, I already had my initial appointment with my new psychiatrist. He said he was familiar with existential depression but was not too familiar with existential psychotherapy. He asked about all the anti-depressants I’ve tried and I told him I’ve tried them all and I don’t respond except experiencing the horrible side effects. He wrote me a prescription for Remeron, which now I recall I was on before and had extreme fatigue and dizzy spells from so I am not taking the medication.
Today I had my first appointment with the therapist who the psychiatrist wanted me to see for CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) even though […]
i am so sick and tired of living this fucking life… I am just a waste of space and time in this IDIOTIC world… I am an introvert and i hate the all people who are hypocrites that live only their lives in such a way (self image, dressing, hairstyle, money and materials appearance) so that they can accepted and liked by other people. Yes i am a short and an unattractive person and so i don’t have any chance out there but let me tell you what, i DON’T GIVE A FUCK since i hate those guy more than i hate myself.
I fucking […]
Everything in my life is gone. My partner, my friends and my work. Life is not really worth living. I feel so much pain, anxiety and will not living. I feel the end is near. I had it all and lost it all.
This is just the same old post, made because I’m feeling lost and lonely and don’t know what else to do.
My life is probably not worth living. I don’t anticipate much in the way of happiness or meaningful events down the road. Generally speaking, anything involving human relationships is a non-starter. I’m not particularly artistic or creative. I don’t really believe in anything strongly, or care about anything that much. In other words, I am a void. My life is a big fat zero. And that feels terrible. All the things that you could’ve been, that you were supposed to be. And you’re not. You’re this. […]
Haven’t been here in a while. Things got better for a while but somehow i’m the same again. I feel so lifeless. Found something temporarily for my hurt but when that’s not enough, I’m not sure what I will turn to. I’ve been feeling down lately, feel like i don’t want to live anymore. I’ve turn to cutting to ease my pain, holds me about a day or so. First it was just my wrist then I’ve move to my face. It’s a bit uncomfortable because people always watch me like what happen to me. They often ask if someone is beating me. I work […]
I want it and I would use it in a mila sec …..I am absolutely emotionally confused ..numb sad hopless … .worthless….with constant fear of things my parents might do and how quickly I will use I that perfume if I had it .
I hate every one… my parents are playing good cop bad cop when there both psychos…inculeding my in laws my husband is still asleep sooo helpfull…(my mother just texted me do trust anyone )
Got it momma my life is […]
Being alone is fine, most of the time. When you’re focused on something else. But then you get tired, and can’t focus. And you can’t get to sleep. Because you can’t find peace. Because you realize that your life is lacking anything worthwhile. That there’s nothing you can do, to feel part of a group. Because your whole way of thinking is based on being alone. And you can’t give that up. Because that would mean opening yourself to rejection. And there’s so much about you that should be rejected.
So you’re trapped. Telling yourself to do whatever it takes to break through and make some kind of connection. […]
It’s your typical existential thought but I think there is a perspective that no one has pointed out. All the good in the world and everything that people consider good is true by their own standards. Humans only have self justification and nothing else. Those who judge suicidal people and think we are wrong for thinking like that dont really have anyway knowing that we are wrong.
For all we know, wanting to end your life is the best thing one can do
This game called life is not a game I want to beat. 1,2,3 lives you’re out. The only enemie is yourself. The hate I have the struggle i feel. Death is the best option. Fuck the future, fuck the present. Fuck tomorrow I want to die tonight. Always feel like nothing and no one. No love no respect. I am who I am but why? I’ve heard it all my days are up.
1,2,3 it’s game over…
I like to listen to what faces have to say, especially when their mouths are shut. The Man in Black has a face that makes you lean in closer and listen. I want to hear.
Life is the same. Depressing and shit. Blah blah blah. Nobody cares what I say, with or without words. No one leans in closer. No one asks questions even after I offer the answers. Because it’s the same old shit. People want a problem to solve, but […]
I usually only post here when im feeling down or having one of my harder days. But today I just wanted to check in with some positive thoughts.
Today my life is still not perfect but it is better. I pulled through the dark thoughts I was having and even feel grateful for the family I have and the life we have together. Things are not perfect but that is ok. I doubt things will ever be perfect. There will always be things to be upset about but today I am focusing on the good things.
Thank you all for putting up with my dark side lol. […]
https://youtu.be/gR7LJsMLetY
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Did you ever read Voltaire’s “Candide”?
He says live life at Benny Hill freak out speed
Not a quote of what he wrote but a paraphrase
Make it up as you go Keyser Soze
Highlights yes but don’t underline ’em
Just live for N.O.W. like Gloria Steinem
Life is like Marion Barry
It’s not all that it’s cracked up to be
Like Fred Sanford when the big one comes
Find the meaning of life is there is none
It’s twenty-four hours when you call it a day
Be Frank and say “I Did It […]
When I was younger, I was also a lot happier, because I had no worries about what could happen next, I never thought that not paying attention in class leads me to being really dumb and unable to graduate and therefore find a job. Even if I do, for what? So I can just keep paying stupid bills and doing the absolute same thing every day just so I can live?
Every single stupid decision I ever made my life harder every passing day. Every single fucking one of them, I regret them and there’s no way I can go back and change them, it’s just […]
Life is torture, death is hope.
Life is meaningless, death is magical.
I am a young girl, 15 years old. This is not just a phrase. My depression has somehow always been there, and I know it will always be there. My depression is hiding inside my breath, it will never go away unless I stop breathing. I hate life!!!! Not MY life. I hate LIFE. Yes, I hate most people and I hate social situations, but honestly, I don’t care. People suck, I’m over it. What bothers me is the meaninglessness. Why are we extremely insignificant?Why does nobody think about […]