No one Will ever love me. Why am I wasting my time living for nothing. Without love I have no reason to exist.
Tag:
living
I don’t know if is worth being alive because of two things:
1) Mi career has pushed me away from what I wish the most… Someone to love, take care of and make a family with. Grow together, look up for our kids and love them forever.
2) The only person that saw the good in me is no longer here. She left me for someone else. She stopped believing in me. In 24 years no one dared to see in the deepest part of me and love me unconditionally. She wasn’t able to understand the illness that haunted me before she came in. With her I […]
I wake up lonely and go to bed terrified. Complex ptsd is something nobody understands nor wants to. I hate taking meds and wondering what it will do to me. I am isolated living here yet triggered by the people around me. Lately I feel like I’m going insane. Too much rage and torment, self-blame, for years. Too much. Nobody is here. My therapist hasn’t called back, the clinic hasn’t called back, I feel like a discarded person. I left the church since nobody there cared either. The neighbors help superficially but not for friendship. I made a new friend but an old one I […]
I can’t control my feelings, I can’t control how worthless I think I am. I am surrounded by happy people living life and there’s me sitting in the corner drowning my sorrows. I feel useless, I can’t do anything. My so called friends don’t give a damn what I feel, my parents only care about their work and have no time to spend time or care about me. I don’t know what’s the point of living anymore, what’s the point of living if no one likes you the way you. I mean, life is meaningless, it’s a test whether you can survive or not. I can’t do […]
It’s always the people that want to live that end up getting terminal cancer or hit by a bus or stranded in a house fire. Those of us that want to die, if we never commit suicide, we will be the ones living miserably into our late 90s. We’ll be the ones to outlive our friends, our spouses, even our children. It doesn’t make sense. We should get to have our misery cut short if we don’t want to live anymore. Cancer on demand… nobody would blame us for our deaths. Those that are happy and capable of dealing with this stupid world should live […]
I’ve been wanting to die for quite a while now, and It’s not that I’ve lost all my friends, or that I have some illness, traumas or whatever. And that makes me sad. Sad because I want life to never have started, but I have no real reason to want that.
Well, I hate the options of future I have right now. I’m enrolling on engineering, but have disliked it since the first half. I like music quite a lot, and have tried a few instruments, but I came to realise that I don’t have the time to master any instrument and make a living […]
Firstly, I’m sorry for my awful English. English is not my first language so … yeah, i just hope that my post is not so confusing. Well, here it is ….
I never know that I can make it.
I mean, I always thought that I will be dead by now. (I’m 23 years old and I always think about suicide even before my 7th birthday)
Ever since that “accident”, I always torn between to kill myself or to keep living in this hell.
I already prepare the tools (for suicide) too. I keep on thinking about the easiest way to end my life.
Before I reach my 9th year […]
it’s hard to wake up everyday miserable and defeated. Realizing I have another day to face. I lose more and more each day I get worse life gets worse just when I thought I cant get anymore down I find a way. I have to see the very noticeable scars I created on myself and be reminded how broken I am and will always be. There is nothing and I mean nothing good about me inside and out. How can i ever change I cant. I feel hated by everyone I lost the few friends I had. They have better friends without cuts friends that […]
Is fucking hell. I am so tired of it. The older I get, the harder it becomes to live in such an awful way. I will never be the person I am supposed to be, I will never be pretty, I will never be truly a happy person. Why even bother living?
Gah, I wish I wasn’t so scared of ending my life.
I’m not living. I’m just existing. Going through the motions of life. Never happy. Never content. Never satisfied.
I just can’t stop this feeling of terror inside of me… I can’t stop crying… The pain won’t stop… I will never had the life I dreamed of, I’ve fallen too far… Now I can’t get out of this spiral down…
I tried to kill myself so many times but it doesn’t work with overdoses… The maximum I got was a coma once… I can’t seem to cut myself… Just cut for pain relief… It hurts all the time now…
The sad thing is no one can help me, not even me, it’s just a slow and painful death… But I never get to die… […]
ssI’ve gotten to the point to where my head hurts when ever I get even the slightest depressed It hurts so much I can’t stand it. My biggest wish is to be happy. I want a family and kids My girlfriend made me promise I wouldn’t hurt myself. She use to selfharm but she stopped when we started living together and she realized that I cut alot and she wanted us to get better together but its hard for me I don’t want to let her down but when she gets upset I get depressed.. She’s all I have like my mind is so damage […]
Today I came across a post of a someone who said he’s changed, he’s unhappy and says that he has to wear his old happy mask in front of others..
And I’ve come to the conclusion that, maybe accepting the new mask and wearing it, as different and somber as it may be; forming a new life (which is a collection of ideas and actions) around the new mask is key to rebuilding one’s life – as opposed to living a lie with the old mask, the wrong mask.
How can anyone live comfortably or truthfully with a mask that […]
I am so sick of people thinking I know of what i want to do but that isn’t the only thing. I wish he would get that through his god damn thick skull. I lost all interest and passion in broadcasting. It was fun and interesting 7 years ago but this semester ruined it for me in a radio class I took. All I wanna do is be an artist be able to express myself through my art work and make a living out of it. But the chances of that are slim… The argument got so nasty last night by the end of the […]
I feel so alone b/c I am. tired of being the only one not living life in my household
I had just returned from a job interview. It was the first interview I have had in over a year. Since losing my job in Nov 2011…. I was trying all sorts of job opportunities… but with the same result. So much so that I lost hope and had been living out of my savings and later? with my parents? until this job interview came up. It seemed like a job offer on a platter – they desperately need to fill in the post in a weeks time -but I‘d not kept myself updated in the recent past – and couldnt answer the simplest questions. […]
I really want to give up.
I have to put up with so much, no one loves me, no one cares for me… So who would grieve when I die or disappear?
But that won’t happen. Why? Because I’m scared to. I’ve seen things that can prove that people will make shit up and jump to conclusions. For instance: I disappear, run away without any evidence to where I was going… Then people at my school would say things like this: “She got pregnant and had to find her baby daddy.” or “She decided to drop out and be a slut for her living to make enough […]
If you found out that you were a subject (victim) of nonconsenting government testing which includes mental torture and manipulation, extreme harassment and 24/7 monitoring and invasion of personal space including cameras and bugs found inside home and had everything important that you worked extremely hard to reach in your life raped from you because of this, would you want to continue living in this society? I rest my case.
I’ve always dealt with suicidal thoughts but over the last month or so they have become omnipresent and overwhelming. I’ve come very close to jumping off a bridge or hanging myself a couple of times in the last couple of weeks, emboldened by alcohol, but I get so fucking chicken shit I haven’t been able to bring it off. I feel like I need to do this but I’m just so afraid of suffering EVEN MORE. I’m afraid of the same thing that is appealing about it all to me…the FINALITY of it. I’m so exhausted by living like this. I wish I could work […]
I am scared of living. When I take what I hope is the final step I can only count on it working out. I can’t leave my loyal dog behind. My “Family” (those who I live with) have threatened to give him away to a shelter several times. My dog is more like family to be then most of them ever were. (With the exception of my brother) I am 16 and I didn’t have money of my own to get my dog to get put to sleep up until Christmas. My brother and I’s money combined is just enough to do this. I love […]