I’m not a writer, Â just bear with me.. As I age I see no change. Just a flatline with no end, blank room with no doors or windows. Everyone has doors and windows. I’m always in a rut, never can catch a break. In pain mentally and physically. Â According to my doctor, Â I’m “fine”. Everyone thinks im fine. Â Im on a fine line , wanting to disappear. People who didn’t deserve to die should take my place, at least they had a place in this world. As of this point im not interested in harming myself, iust the thoughs of volunteering to leave disturb me […]
Tag:
Loser
I feel like I just need to scream. I need to just scream and just keep screaming to get all these feelings out. I just want to be happy. After all my years of dealing with depression I’ve never wanted to be off this earth as much ad I do now. You’d think I have a good life, I work a lot, have honors and ap classes in school. But everything’s fake. I’m so fake. I wake up for school and put on a smile.I am abused. I’m a senior in highschool and Im being mentally abused by my freshman brother. I have this personality […]
So my depression started when i was bullied severely in middle school and summer camp, people really don’t know how much this messes up a person. I became introverted and started thinking of my own death constantly at a young age , to the people that say it gets better i just have to laugh. Because now that I am older I found out that I am diagnosed with schizophrenia, and not to mention I am a 30 year old unsuccessful virgin that also has erectile dysfunction. It seems that God is just laughing at me just like the builles did when I was a […]
FUCKED FOR CASH
V1-
Cum splattered face
Wash away the taste
Fake a slutty smile
And bend over now
Give yourself up
For a couple bucks
For your next fix
From your fucking pimp
V2-
Caught in a web
Where everyone is dead
But walking, fucking
Making money
Take it in the ass
Oh so bloody
Pitiful waste
Prostitution
Chorus-
How did we
End up here?
Hooked on coke
And fucking queers
Make more money
Giving head
In an alley
Mostly dead
V3-
Did you ask for this?
Heroin cysts
Black eyes from guys
You fucked last night
One too much
Raped and fucked
Left alone
You have no […]
ok so first and foremost im going to tell you a little story about my life.when i was in my elementary years i was being bullied by everyone i always feel like nobody loves me and i know it’s not just a feeling i know that is real.everyone said that i stink i have body odor,bad breath and a loser and other stuffs that can hurt my feelings i was always so emotional way back my youth and now that i am 17 i am contemplating about my childhood,reminiscing that eventually i figured out that i never really had one.and now that i’ve grown it’s […]
There’s not a moment where I think about killing myself/committing suicide. I’ve already tried twice, but I couldn’t do it. I tried to drown myself in the tub. The water was just about up to where my head was at. I put my face/wash towel over my face so I couldn’t breath at all. Then I laid back in the water. I started thinking what if I really did just kill myself right here and now? Would anyone care? I’d finally be free of pain and torment. I doubt I’m going to heaven, if it’s even real. I’m an atheist. Just as I […]
I am a 27 year old man. I am writing this because I don’t know what else to do. I am sorry if this is extremely long but I feel as though I just have to get this out of me. I will understand if no one were to read this.
I often feel hopeless about everything in my life. As a child I grew up in a small town North of a major city. I had friends, played lots of sports but often felt like an outcast for no reason in particular. I would often become very angry if anyone rubbed me the wrong way. […]
so i know i have fucked up yet agin i keep fucking up its my fucking gosh darn emotions i have such extreme anxitey i dont feel safe i dont feel okay i feel lways on edge i defintley feel tense i mean i dont just know anymore i feel like such a loser i wish things were the way they use to be i dont liek how the future is looking i dont like how things will end up and i fucking knew it i fucking knew that life was going to be horrible and it keeps getting shitty and i guess it could […]
I’m a liar because I wont tell you everything. I’m stupid because sometimes im wrong. I’m ugly because my face isn’t perfect. I’m a push over because I like making people happy. I’m a loser because I’m a not friend with your group. I’m fake because I’m too nice. I’m weird because I’m not like you. I’m fat because I eat when I’m hungry. I’m clingy because I don’t like to be alone. I’m insecure because I care about what people think of me. I’m no fun because I’m not always hyper? Don’t try to tell me who I am BecauseI already know! </3
Each day that I wake up I am just adding time onto my pain. I distract myself with T.V , this website and the internet to keep from killing myself. The urge is there. Sometimes I feel this deep rage inside me and a voice screams in my head “YOU NEED TO FUCKIN KILL YOURSELF” and I have to convince myself that the time isnt right now. Why am I lying to myself? I think is just the will to live. My heart, mind and spirit are all at war within me. My heart and mind says its over and this is the end but […]
So i decided to share my suicide story with you. Â I am 26 year old male from Europe. I had on-off strong suicide thoughts since my early teenage years. I hate myself a lot. i don’t think i should live on.
The reason for that is that i always end up in some really bad, shitty situations. Mostly due myself and my own stupidity, Â laziness or my weak character. I mostly live from one emotional disaster to an other, some shit always happens to me, and i freak out and can’t take it easy. And i effect people around me, a lot of people got […]
Hi
Well now it has been a very long time since i have posted or even visited. i just want to say im fairly certain this will go un-noticed. which is okay, i know that getting views after 1am is very rare (eastern-standard time).
But i just want to say im moving along. i have a job i start soon, i have 2 fairly decent blogs i run. i have friends (not really) i just like to assume there friends. really all i have is idiots i talk to regularly (granted its over the internet.) so yeah im still fairly the same loser i was 10 months […]
Haha it’s one of those nights again
Haha I can’t be the only one who feels this shit, right?
Posting drunk when I’m honestly sober
But I feel like last years tequila finally went to my head
I’m running through the parking lot screaming
My boss is parked right here
Slashing those tires, and I cut my hand
Suddenly my wrists are bleeding out
Haha I actually love my job, you know?
Haha my blood turns his white truck brown
Eyes wide enough to open the door
My smile returns and no one will know
Twitching on the bus as I wanna die on the […]
I want to kill myself.
Awww why you have a perfectly… almost perfectly good life. You’re just going through a bit of a rough time hang in there, its going to get better.
Its not going to get better, I’ve been wanting and waiting for it get better for how many years now… I can’t say I can predict the future but I’ve been understanding my feelings, my death wish, and I want to dies more than ever. I say more than ever, but I cant clearly remember all the reasoning, the beliefs, the crap that led to this point but I can say with confidence that […]
I’ve just joined the site, and this is my first post. I probably won’t write much because I can’t be bothered- nothing is worth bothering with for me. I’m one of those people that passes everybody by where it matters.
I’m 36, I’ve had great chances in life, but blown them all. I’m female, and single. I’ve mostly always been that way, regardless of the fact that i’m a ‘head turner’. It doesn’t mean shit when I don’t have a job, I lost my only baby (pregnancy), my only ever real boyfriend (he walked out in the night whilst I was sleeping and left […]
I am 39 years old I have thought about suicide since I was 6 years old. My life has always been so difficult. I had one person that kept me alive and that is my dad. I didn’t want to disappoint him. Now I live for my son but my life is imploding and I just think about dying more and more. It makes me sad to think of leaving my son but its just too much. I feel broken, bullied, abused, abandoned and alone. Today my husband let me know that I am a failure, an idiot, a fat fuck, a loser and a […]
Time passes by very quickly so fast that I find it hard to catch up, I’ve always been shy,imaginative,and outgoing at times but in my recent years I find that I spend a lot of time on my own and I never really reveal myself or open up to people though I’ve never really been a kid who’s open with her feelings but I guess I can contribute that to moving a town away and when I do open up to people and tell them how I feel it’s a very strange feeling to me now that I end up regretting it, I truly feel […]
I finally got a job, which is wonderful. It’s helped me get out of the house, fill up my time, keep me busy and not feel so lonely. But the thing is… they are all so judgemental. It brings me down sometimes, I mean if they are talking about others like that, what are they saying about me?
First things first, I am a cutter, however I have always cut my legs, and the ones on my arms are done in such a way that they are either hidden or they just look like an accident. Anyway, there was a girl working for us for about […]
For the past few months I have read the posts and posted myself on this site. Â Every day is the same for me. Â I think suicidally but then I’ve made it 40 years and have family thats suffering around me and I want to help but the suicidal thoughts persist. Â But than after a few months I get lucky and score myself a 20 bag of weed. Â I smoke a little and suddenly everything changes. Â I feel even deeper sadness for those that I love that are suffering but I feel like I can deal with the loneliness of not ever really having a partner, […]
I really do. I’m a sadist. I get off on hurting people and torturing people.
I have never felt happiness in any real sense, in any sense YOU would understand. But fear, the atmosphere of terror after some horrible event, the way fear creeps through a small community after a murder, I LOVE that.
I recall, one day I was walking home from work – slow, dejected, tired – I saw news of a local murder and some grim new details of it. And I instantly perked up, I thanked God for such bloody work and walked home with a spring in my step.
And I think this […]