Tag:

man

by deerdezz 12/31/2015

written by deerdezz

Wow. Okay thats a thing.

Ive been passive aggressively making life harder for myself.

Exploiting all my health issues, especially the issues i know plague the bloodline. Picked up cancer sticks with the goal to burn through a pack a week…hell even depleted all my finacial resources knowing id be fucked when debt collectora come knockin.

Anything, to get sick to get hurt…to be ruined and yet.
A car that shouldve totaled me narrowly misses..my doc clears me of any bad news and now somehow i have money in the bank. Not just a few dollars but enough to get by the next few months.

I just […]

12/31/2015 0 comment

I want to die so bad

by nicole123 12/29/2015

written by nicole123

Today I saw my old love and I was happy . We just listened to music and laid together . And I felt content . But the second I left I feel so alone . I’m so unhappy . Any second I’m not around something that can make me happy , I instantly become sad again . I really want to die. I wish I could order a hit man to kill me. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy . This all seems pointless as fuck . I have such bad anxiety now anyways around people that I don’t think I’ll ever make friends […]

12/29/2015 3 comments

To take your mind off things :)

by nicole123 12/28/2015

written by nicole123

This is my absolute favorite singer. Every time i hear his voice i want to dance. I can really feel his music. He has a great story too. He was depressed and started with nothing. He recorded his album in his bedroom and got somewhere. I think we can all get somewhere too. The video is kind of weird. God, i would do anything to meet this man.

12/28/2015 3 comments

Protected: It’s all about me.

by whiskered-fish 12/26/2015

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

12/26/2015 5 comments

Ruined

by JiminyCrispies 12/26/2015

written by JiminyCrispies

Despite the fact that I hate Christmas, I was somewhat having a reasonably okay day yesterday. That was until my biological dad decided to harass my mother and I during the afternoon. After not hearing from him in 6 months, he sent awful messages to us about how I’m a disappointment and useless (after understanding how bad my mental state is when he first got back into contact, he decided he couldn’t cope and thought it was best to tell me how he’s better off without someone as ‘insane’ and ‘unstable’ as me). After getting no response from myself and minimal from my mother, he […]

12/26/2015 2 comments

Not a good day

by Allitends 12/26/2015

written by Allitends

Hi folks.

Well today ive tried to go for some shopping, looks like i need to buy a suit (new year party thingy), oh sweet, like i said i tried, i went to some shopping, but its so messy, so many people.. I had to give up, it took all my strengh. Than ive tried to go get a coffee in midle of town you know, just wanted to get it and to go near the river to sit in there and cry, yes because this try , sucked all i had, and again, people and traffic everywhere, gave up again.

Here i AM, tired, confused, near […]

12/26/2015 15 comments

sonnet 29 plus, im a useless junky and having quit will always continue to be

by rayonhousefly 12/21/2015

written by rayonhousefly

When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,

I all alone beweep my outcast state,

And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,

And look upon myself and curse my fate,

Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,

Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,

Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope,

With what I most enjoy contented least;

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,

Haply I think on thee, and then my state,

(Like to the lark at break of day arising

From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven’s gate;

For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings

That then I scorn to change my state with kings

12/21/2015 1 comment

Posts?

by AdventLunacysTypewriter 12/17/2015

written by AdventLunacysTypewriter

I’m left wondering how genuine these posts are. everyone on the suicideproject is run by their emotions (myself included), and I’m wondering how a depressed man/woman can think clearly enough to type as much as everyone here has, or if everything here is typed simply out of angst, rendering it all meaningless.

12/17/2015 20 comments

Weather The Shot

by trophyX 12/16/2015

written by trophyX

I told you that you have a real shot. I don’t have to tell you that I’ve changed. I think you’ve already seen it and felt it. I think you know it deep down. You feel that I want nothing from you other than you to out live me by one more day. If he is your best shot at carrying you through to tomorrow than I’m his biggest fan. I’m man enough to admit that we’ll never work out or be the same as we were. Sure, its painful, but seeing hope arise in your eyes even for one more minute is worth a […]

12/16/2015 3 comments

The Boy Inside

by basefree 12/15/2015

written by basefree

I’m 28 years old now but I’m still that timid and shy little kid I was since I can remember and I fucking hate it.

I’ve tried cognitive therapy, SSRIs and even self-improvement clubs and courses like Toastmasters, but to no avail. I just seize up and go blank when I’m supposed to talk to people, and don’t even get me started on trying to talk to women. I’m such a fucking loser.

It probably goes back to my strict upbringing where anxiety and fear were some of my earliest feelings. I’m just broken. When anyone engages me I shut down, shut off. This must […]

12/15/2015 4 comments

To Nobody

by Mike Rowedick 12/11/2015

written by Mike Rowedick

Some men write letters to their unborn child
An expression of love in a world gone wild
If my life were to end before yours begins
I want to share my love and make amends

But my letter is not addressed to an unborn baby
But to an unfulfilled desire that someday, just maybe
A new life could have been created if I had been a real man
I’d have loved you and nurtured you and been your number one fan

I’d comfort and care for you and make everything alright
I’d even chase monsters from under your bed each night
I’d have found you the best […]

12/11/2015 14 comments

Protected: Already hating myself for this.

by whiskered-fish 12/11/2015

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

12/11/2015 11 comments

Poetry …

by jadedkeizy 12/10/2015

written by jadedkeizy

I don’t know if there’s a reason I’m here
I feel the only thing that’s driving me is reason and fear
And seeing death to me conceivably near
So I don’t give a fuck what you think about me reaching for beer
I don’t worry anymore about what my friends do
I have a more urgent matter to attend to
Is there something there bigger when I die and vanish?
That weaves everyone and everything into a canvas
I’m not smart enough to think I have a resolution
I’ll never be a man with mediocre constitution
My father told me that blood and power intoxicate

12/10/2015 0 comment

The best two months I’ve had in years

by ismedyl 12/7/2015

written by ismedyl

its been a while since I’ve posted on SP mainly because I’ve been pretty happy lately. About 2 months ago I had a big fight with my mom and I told her to shove it and that I would rather live in my car than live with her so that’s what I did. Yeah I had the balls to do it so I did I slept in my car for 2 weeks and I was extremely bored but happier than I was at home and then I told my ex girlfriend and her parents took me in because they always liked me only one was […]

12/7/2015 2 comments

Failed

by CRA2015 12/6/2015

written by CRA2015

I failed you baby, on 1-18-15 I fucked up and I failed you. I wasn’t there for you when you really needed me, my bipolar wasn’t medicated or known yet and I freaked out, I made the worse/stupidest mistake of my life and I kicked you out our house when you needed me. I failed you in every way possible as your man that day, and I failed our lil family… I tore it apart. I’m the reason we’re not together anymore. I got help, I knew something was wrong and I got help…found out I’m bipolar and have anxiety, I go to therapy/ counseling […]

12/6/2015 6 comments

Challenge:

by Salesman 12/3/2015

written by Salesman

Lots of research as shown that low serotonin levels directly relates to depression. One of the best ways to raise serotonin levels is daily exercise. Unfortunately low serotonin also makes you not want to exercise making your brain go against what your body wants and needs. I challenge anyone here who is feeling depressed to try it for a few weeks with me. One punch man is kind of inspiring me so I guess I should take advantage before it wears off.

12/3/2015 4 comments

trying to solve a 10X10 Matrix, not sure where to start …

by jadedkeizy 12/3/2015

written by jadedkeizy

I told my sister I was sick and she didn’t believe me. Not until I mailed her a suicide note and travelled to a far away destination where I booked a cottage to kill myself. She sent me a lot of texts telling me how much she loved me but it was too late. Ingested the poison but was discovered by one of the custodians, rushed to hospital and later shipped back home where I was committed to a psyche ward.

All this happened 2 months ago. I am still here and still standing. Trying to recover from that nasty experience is not an easy task. Finding […]

12/3/2015 4 comments

Women

by nextime1988 11/29/2015

written by nextime1988

I’m a below average statured man, yet i htink my looks may be not that bad. at a certain point in my life i began that noticing sometimes in public setting women would notice me.

Like this morning i went for lunch with my parents at a fine restaurent when then this gorgeous girl walked in with (i think) her Grandparents and they sat in a table next to us and it happened she noticed me.

Maby its the reason i’m feeling so bad today knowing that i’m a socially awkward fuck, that i dont have the guts and even if i had no woman whats to […]

11/29/2015 5 comments

wonder if the rest of you might feel the same sometimes?

by nextime1988 11/25/2015

written by nextime1988

People might get the wrong impression from a 27 year old man saying this, but im sharing it because probably some of us here experience the same .

Well not in those days when it seems like all hope is lost.
But every now and then feels like all i needed was to be held to be cuddled to have someone hugging me , strocking my hair and tell me it’s gonna be ok . to show me a different perspective on things.

Does the same happens to you?

11/25/2015 28 comments

Him

by Take a Deep Breath 11/23/2015

written by Take a Deep Breath

His mask- it looked as though smoke had curled around his eyes and his nose, daring to rest atop his cheek bones. Rosy lips broke into a blinding grin as he saw me waltz toward him. God he was handsome. A mope of curly black hair, suntanned skin and eyes so blue you could lose yourself in them. His dapper tuxedo emphasized his broad shoulders, long legs and toned arms… this man was mine. He rushed towards me and lifted me from the ground, twirling me round and round till we were breathless with laughter and life. I itched to peel his mask from his […]

11/23/2015 2 comments

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