Today I saw my old love and I was happy . We just listened to music and laid together . And I felt content . But the second I left I feel so alone . I’m so unhappy . Any second I’m not around something that can make me happy , I instantly become sad again . I really want to die. I wish I could order a hit man to kill me. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy . This all seems pointless as fuck . I have such bad anxiety now anyways around people that I don’t think I’ll ever make friends […]
Tag:
man
This is my absolute favorite singer. Every time i hear his voice i want to dance. I can really feel his music. He has a great story too. He was depressed and started with nothing. He recorded his album in his bedroom and got somewhere. I think we can all get somewhere too. The video is kind of weird. God, i would do anything to meet this man.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Despite the fact that I hate Christmas, I was somewhat having a reasonably okay day yesterday. That was until my biological dad decided to harass my mother and I during the afternoon. After not hearing from him in 6 months, he sent awful messages to us about how I’m a disappointment and useless (after understanding how bad my mental state is when he first got back into contact, he decided he couldn’t cope and thought it was best to tell me how he’s better off without someone as ‘insane’ and ‘unstable’ as me). After getting no response from myself and minimal from my mother, he […]
Hi folks.
Well today ive tried to go for some shopping, looks like i need to buy a suit (new year party thingy), oh sweet, like i said i tried, i went to some shopping, but its so messy, so many people.. I had to give up, it took all my strengh. Than ive tried to go get a coffee in midle of town you know, just wanted to get it and to go near the river to sit in there and cry, yes because this try , sucked all i had, and again, people and traffic everywhere, gave up again.
Here i AM, tired, confused, near […]
sonnet 29 plus, im a useless junky and having quit will always continue to be
written by rayonhousefly
When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
(Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven’s gate;
For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings
I’m left wondering how genuine these posts are. everyone on the suicideproject is run by their emotions (myself included), and I’m wondering how a depressed man/woman can think clearly enough to type as much as everyone here has, or if everything here is typed simply out of angst, rendering it all meaningless.
I told you that you have a real shot. I don’t have to tell you that I’ve changed. I think you’ve already seen it and felt it. I think you know it deep down. You feel that I want nothing from you other than you to out live me by one more day. If he is your best shot at carrying you through to tomorrow than I’m his biggest fan. I’m man enough to admit that we’ll never work out or be the same as we were. Sure, its painful, but seeing hope arise in your eyes even for one more minute is worth a […]
I’m 28 years old now but I’m still that timid and shy little kid I was since I can remember and I fucking hate it.
I’ve tried cognitive therapy, SSRIs and even self-improvement clubs and courses like Toastmasters, but to no avail. I just seize up and go blank when I’m supposed to talk to people, and don’t even get me started on trying to talk to women. I’m such a fucking loser.
It probably goes back to my strict upbringing where anxiety and fear were some of my earliest feelings. I’m just broken. When anyone engages me I shut down, shut off. This must […]
Some men write letters to their unborn child
An expression of love in a world gone wild
If my life were to end before yours begins
I want to share my love and make amends
But my letter is not addressed to an unborn baby
But to an unfulfilled desire that someday, just maybe
A new life could have been created if I had been a real man
I’d have loved you and nurtured you and been your number one fan
I’d comfort and care for you and make everything alright
I’d even chase monsters from under your bed each night
I’d have found you the best […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I don’t know if there’s a reason I’m here
I feel the only thing that’s driving me is reason and fear
And seeing death to me conceivably near
So I don’t give a fuck what you think about me reaching for beer
I don’t worry anymore about what my friends do
I have a more urgent matter to attend to
Is there something there bigger when I die and vanish?
That weaves everyone and everything into a canvas
I’m not smart enough to think I have a resolution
I’ll never be a man with mediocre constitution
My father told me that blood and power intoxicate
its been a while since I’ve posted on SP mainly because I’ve been pretty happy lately. About 2 months ago I had a big fight with my mom and I told her to shove it and that I would rather live in my car than live with her so that’s what I did. Yeah I had the balls to do it so I did I slept in my car for 2 weeks and I was extremely bored but happier than I was at home and then I told my ex girlfriend and her parents took me in because they always liked me only one was […]
I failed you baby, on 1-18-15 I fucked up and I failed you. I wasn’t there for you when you really needed me, my bipolar wasn’t medicated or known yet and I freaked out, I made the worse/stupidest mistake of my life and I kicked you out our house when you needed me. I failed you in every way possible as your man that day, and I failed our lil family… I tore it apart. I’m the reason we’re not together anymore. I got help, I knew something was wrong and I got help…found out I’m bipolar and have anxiety, I go to therapy/ counseling […]
Lots of research as shown that low serotonin levels directly relates to depression. One of the best ways to raise serotonin levels is daily exercise. Unfortunately low serotonin also makes you not want to exercise making your brain go against what your body wants and needs. I challenge anyone here who is feeling depressed to try it for a few weeks with me. One punch man is kind of inspiring me so I guess I should take advantage before it wears off.
I told my sister I was sick and she didn’t believe me. Not until I mailed her a suicide note and travelled to a far away destination where I booked a cottage to kill myself. She sent me a lot of texts telling me how much she loved me but it was too late. Ingested the poison but was discovered by one of the custodians, rushed to hospital and later shipped back home where I was committed to a psyche ward.
All this happened 2 months ago. I am still here and still standing. Trying to recover from that nasty experience is not an easy task. Finding […]
I’m a below average statured man, yet i htink my looks may be not that bad. at a certain point in my life i began that noticing sometimes in public setting women would notice me.
Like this morning i went for lunch with my parents at a fine restaurent when then this gorgeous girl walked in with (i think) her Grandparents and they sat in a table next to us and it happened she noticed me.
Maby its the reason i’m feeling so bad today knowing that i’m a socially awkward fuck, that i dont have the guts and even if i had no woman whats to […]
People might get the wrong impression from a 27 year old man saying this, but im sharing it because probably some of us here experience the same .
Well not in those days when it seems like all hope is lost.
But every now and then feels like all i needed was to be held to be cuddled to have someone hugging me , strocking my hair and tell me it’s gonna be ok . to show me a different perspective on things.
Does the same happens to you?
His mask- it looked as though smoke had curled around his eyes and his nose, daring to rest atop his cheek bones. Rosy lips broke into a blinding grin as he saw me waltz toward him. God he was handsome. A mope of curly black hair, suntanned skin and eyes so blue you could lose yourself in them. His dapper tuxedo emphasized his broad shoulders, long legs and toned arms… this man was mine. He rushed towards me and lifted me from the ground, twirling me round and round till we were breathless with laughter and life. I itched to peel his mask from his […]
So I have posted I fell in love for the first time with my ex boyfriend. He went to work one night and never came home and he had another gf. He blocked me everywhere and said he never wanted to talk to me or see me again.
Tuesday night he sent me a txt that said “?” I did not respond because it’s been so long but I did check and I was blocked by him but could get on his gfs profile. And they were still together and happy according to her
this morning I woke up to a missed call from him. I didn’t […]