Tag:

Many Things

I can’t do it alone I can’t stay alone

by AnonM 5/18/2013

written by AnonM

The clock is ticking and time is running out. I know not for my life, yes I do want something more. I want so many things in life and there are so many things I wanted to do and bring to this world. I want to bring happiness to others, I want to find happiness for myself, I want to be a father, I want to be content.

I want to be happy. I want to smile for something I’ve done not something I’ve seen. I want to laugh because I feel good inside not because it’s the appropriate thing to do. There’s so much good […]

5/18/2013 8 comments

Everything I’ve done has been made meaningless…

by z80 5/1/2013

written by z80

I told my parents that I am bipolar-2 and that they must not tell anybody in the family or outside the family before I explain what that means. Â People think bipolar = crazy, schizophrenic, split personality, criminal, nuts… Â you get the idea. Â These types of labels pretty much sink a person’s life completely.

Nobody wants to hire you. Â No one that was in your social circle would be a recommendation. Â No job prospects. Â Not money. Â No lady wants to be with a man who cannot even get a job. Â Family throws you out because they think that the reason you can’t find a job is because […]

5/1/2013 4 comments

They never answer

by Laekra 4/13/2013

written by Laekra

‘I’m here for you’ never answers the phone.

‘I just want to see you happy’ never holds me when I cry.

‘We’ll be together forever’ is never there anymore.

I want to run away from everything I’ve made for myself.. which isn’t much, not much at all.

I’d like to lead a simpler life to see if that will make me happy.

I need so many things, maybe having so little will make me realize how precious life is.

4/13/2013 2 comments

Gone With Despair

by erickmhar 4/9/2013

written by erickmhar

-Living in a house filled with false emotion

-Day by day the pain growing stronger

-Finally one day comes abruption

-Walking in the cold night every second feeling longer

-Death is nothing more than just a tranquil thought

-Everything going black,colder,careless

-I could have been that kid that random kid that was shot

-Sight fading,mind bending,moving seems weightless

-As I think my finally moments are coming

-A bright light shines on my face

-To think I was knocked out till it started shining

.This is a poem-ish,about one of my memories,basically what happened was that I was living in a house with what I thought was a loving mother, one day overheard “I knew I should […]

4/9/2013 0 comment

Just a little ramble.

by The_Voice_Inside 4/8/2013

written by The_Voice_Inside

Depression hits us all, I think. There’s not a single person I have spoken to that hasn’t felt it’s clammy hands around their soul. It seems to be caused by many things, from big life changing events, to small things that just build up and knock a person off their feet eventually. Â I’ve had it time and and time again, but usually managing to shake it off like a wet dog. Â This time however, it’s crippled me.

I’ve seen death burn through a families hope, I’ve felt that pain. I got through it.
I’ve felt theÂ devastationÂ of a loved one no longer loving you. I got through […]

4/8/2013 2 comments

I just want to be normal.

by Engeltje 4/4/2013

written by Engeltje

I constantly ask myself: “Why can’t I just be normal?” I mean, I can’t go to school, but normal people can. I can’t call to someone, normal people can. I’m afraid to be outside alone or in the dark, normal people aren’t afraid for that. There are so many things that I wish that they were the same as ‘normal’ people. But probably I can’t be normal, but it’s hard for me to accept that…

4/4/2013 12 comments

I’m just tired.

by TisxIxKasa 4/1/2013

written by TisxIxKasa

I’m desperate.

For excuses.

For reasons.

For encouragement.

Every night I have to convince myself not to do something drastic.

I have to look at myself in the mirror, and I have to lecture myself for so long just to tell myself not to cut, not to think terrible thoughts, not to attempt suicide, not to cry, not to do anything that harms myself.

I think I’m losing myself.

I’m not feeling as how I used to.

I can’t stay happy. I fake a smile when I’m in school.

But I don’t talk. People talk to me, and I nod as a sign that I’m listening. I’m done with talking.

I don’t know if I’m […]

4/1/2013 3 comments

The unwanted child

by happyending 3/30/2013

written by happyending

I’m 24 years old. I have a bachelor degree.Â I can’t find a job. I live with my parents. Everyday I feelÂ like they don’t want me at home. Their home. I don’t feelÂ like it is my home anymore so I spend all the time in my room trying not to disturb them. When my mother was pregnant of meÂ she took a overdose of pills not caring about the baby. My dad didn’t want me to be born and the doctors said I was going to have serious health problems because of the overdose. So it was better to abort me they said. However I was born. […]

3/30/2013 5 comments

What does music mean to me?

by betrayingtheworld 3/22/2013

written by betrayingtheworld

People underestimate how much music means to me. They have no idea that music is the only thing keeping me from a mental institute. Music does so many things for me. It keeps the monsters of the night away, it pushes away all feeling cutting couldnâ€™t. It keeps my anxiety down, and calms me when I need it. Itâ€™s the only thing Iâ€™m alive for. The depression, the anxiety, the eating disorders, the bipolar, the ADHD, the personality disorders, theyâ€™d all be 20 times worse without music.

And trust me when I say Iâ€™d be dead by now. Without music, I wouldnâ€™t have that one song […]

3/22/2013 6 comments

Sometimes I just wish.

by danbanan 3/7/2013

written by danbanan

Sometimes I just sit in class and wish so many things. I hate going to school. I wish there was no such thing. I wish I was born when school seemed so much easier. I wish I had a tree that grew money. I wish my hair would stop falling and thinning. I wish I was skinny. I wish I was pretty. I wish I wasn’t dumb. I wish I had nothing to regret. I wish I had all my pets. I wish all the worthless and horrible people would die. I wish I had a walk-in closet filled with clothes. I wish I had […]

3/7/2013 6 comments

bye

by No-one1 3/5/2013

written by No-one1

everythings bad. Ive tried so many things to get better , But I don’t want to get better , I want to kill myself. Ive tried a couple times , it never works . this time it will though , I hate my life , Im ugly , my family hate me , I have no friends , Im depression , I cant even go outside without having an anxiety attack . I don’t have a life anymore , All I do all day is sit in my room. I cant even go to school , no one talks to me ,Â I have scars everywhere […]

3/5/2013 2 comments

35 years on this planet and too many things have gone wrong

by Thebutteryflyeffect 3/3/2013

written by Thebutteryflyeffect

I’m a loser,no job,no talent,no friends,no family,never had someone really love me it was all fake. All I am doing is existing I am not living I have felt this way since eight years old when I lost a pet bird and realize how life is so short and things around you die and leave pain behind. I truly want to not exist any longer…. too many things have gone wrong in my life and I cannot erase or ignore this darkness that has taken over me and follows me everywhere. Why does the world look at people like me as insane or crazy or […]

3/3/2013 2 comments

I feel helpless…

by jackden 3/2/2013

written by jackden

Hey, my name is Jack.
today has been a pretty shit day, just like every other dayÂ IÂ guess. In year 7 is when it all started, my dad stopped being my dad.
Dad was working in the Air Force and previously worked in the navy for years, so he is a respectable man. Although while i was in year 7, he got discharged from the air force forÂ injuringÂ his knee and neck. NowÂ I’mÂ 18, IÂ finished school last year, I hated school. I hated the teacher,Â IÂ hated the education, i hated the school in general. Everyone is so stupid, i honestly felt like one of the smartest people in the […]

3/2/2013 5 comments

i cant go on like this anymore. i need change now

by idunno 2/23/2013

written by idunno

This is mental torture. My brain wont allow positive feelings and pleasures, it rejects them like foreign territory. It is not used to positivity so it doesnt know what to do with it. It teased me by making me feel confident and excided and content and motivated for a very short time then slaps me back in the face and replaces these good feelings with guilt anxiety paranoia saddness bordome and fear. It feeds these thoughts into my mind virtually automaticly , thoughts like “you are undeserving to feel content, get praise, . You are a bad person your doing it all wrong, you cant […]

2/23/2013 1 comment

First give it a try…

by OddOneOut 2/15/2013

written by OddOneOut

I’m not trying to be a dick or anything, but it’s just a moment’s revelation that is slowly turning my life around right now and I thought it would be nice to share and get the ideas of other people.We, the ones on this site, usually have no meaning in life, think ourselves a failure, have had (to many different levels) experienced traumatic events or had our lives ruined by someone or thing, and are now seemingly left without many options. Our lives cannot, and will not get better. It will always be like this.
But, HAVE YOU ACTUALLY TRIED TO FIX THINGS? Of course, […]

2/15/2013 16 comments

Without a safety net to save me

by AnonM 2/15/2013

written by AnonM

Iâ€™m saving myself the time of writing my entire story. Itâ€™s a long one. The change in my life the loss only just happening 1 year ago this month. Iâ€™ve posted my story here once before, it was about half way through. While things have continually gotten much worse since I havenâ€™t been this concerned with how things are going to play out. Iâ€™m at the end of having any real choice on how I leave. Iâ€™m about ready to just drink as much antifreeze as possible. Iâ€™m scared honestly to live and scared to feel any more pain. The antifreeze while painful I wouldnâ€™t […]

2/15/2013 12 comments

How to get rid of the fear? via I need to man up.

by quickatrigga 2/7/2013

written by quickatrigga

I’ve been trying get the balls to commit suicide but there are so many things I am scared of before, during and after death.

For example:

-the pain

-grief of parents and family

-will it work?

-where i will go after?

My problems: Â (I don’t know why I’m telling you this) what can i say? I’m an attention-seeking fuckface.

-I’m fat and no muscle, only tall.

-bad childhood- divorce, no game with women, abused.

-Hatred towards women and have never had a real connection with a woman(hate mother, HATE)

-I’m broke, 18 years old but dad has no job and mom is a ***** about her money(she’s filthy rich)

-Overall, just tired of people telling me […]

2/7/2013 2 comments

After 11 Years Of Hell

by nat 2/5/2013

written by nat

After over a decade of trying to slog on through this bleak existence, and being guilt-tripped continuously into persevering, I am all out of stamina for the fight anymore. Â Too many things, too many broken emotions, too many medical tags stuck onto this tortured, agony-racked being. Â I don’t even think those closest to my heart would begrudge me seeking eternal peace and relief from this cruel world, if they could understand the pain I go through on a daily basis.

I have had 3 botched overdoses with different meds, and tried hanging once but the cord stretched too much, and contemplated stepping off the roof of […]

2/5/2013 5 comments

A month straight from satans asshole…

by Alayna 2/4/2013

written by Alayna

This past month has been so many things; horrendous, miserable, cloudy with a chance of shit, amazing and terrible at the same time.

IÂ attemptedÂ to make amends with my mother…she at the firstÂ opportunityÂ sent me home said goodbye and drove off.

I tried to help a child in need but was chased away by an overprotective foster parent.

I made an effort to fit in and went to a part, somebody slipped something into my non-alcoholic drink and I ended upÂ vomitingÂ all over the front lawn

I found a boy…A boy who seemed to like me for me scars and all. IÂ rememberÂ the first night we shared together, he took me to a […]

2/4/2013 2 comments

A bad daughter, a bad student, and a bad girlfriend

by anu 2/4/2013

written by anu

I wish i could be a good daughter. I have just troubled my parents. they both are old and sick, and i do nothing for them. if my mom cries before me, i cant wipe her tears i cant even talk to her nicely. I always yell at her and my dad. my dad’s sick too but i never lend him a hand at anything. i cant get myself to do that. ill sit in my room and keep thinking i should be doing it but i cant get myself up to do it. still they are very nice they never say anything bad to […]

2/4/2013 8 comments

Newer Posts

Older Posts