Well, I finally got it. I received financial aid and I can go to school now. I felt happy for a few hours, but then I started thinking again. Thinking about what I actually want to do with my life and the truth is I don’t want to do anything with my life. So why go to school? I actually love school because I can learn new things and not think about my pathetic life, but what’s the point. I don’t want to be here anymore. Why should I go to school and pay thousands of dollars to get a big paying job when all […]
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married
OK so today the voices were on and on about shit. Then this entity began making shit funny. It makes light of the dark shit that can surround my soul sometimes.
They modify words get carried away with songs, make me hear shit that ain’t there but sounds like it is. But I’m too smart for the voices I know its them. I have at least 6 or 7 different characters that come and go. Everything from little girls to evil entities that curse and swear and crack me up. That’s when they’re not trying to make me suicidal.
I’m trying to find successful stories of Schizo’s […]
I can’t believe that I suddently recovered from my depression. My insomnia starts to fade away little by little. I want to say farewell to you guys 🙂 Thank you for all the support. I have learned a lot from you. I realised that there is something divine out there, it can’t be everything just random. Killswitchon, the big prize goes to you my friend. Get a job, find a nice girl, get married and make some little killswitches . You are really a nice guy. Take care of youself. I am going to erase all my depressed posts and leave this one. I love […]
everyone around me is leaving me behind. Friends getting married and graduating college. Meanwhile im struggling to find who i am which is fucking stupid because im 24 i should fucking know. I dont belong anywhere im just lost. Im generally a good person help people out when i can. Im even a fucking vegan. That should count for somenthing rigth? Nope the universe hates me. Everytime i choose a path it seems to be the wrong one. Crummy relationships , unsuitable career, even my hair is bad.i know there is people with bigger problems but Im tired of always failing im done trying i […]
….would be better if I wasn’t alive. I know suicide has been called selfish. I know that I think of it usually weekly for over 20years. Some weeks or months are worse than others. There have only been a couple months that I felt well enough that suicide didn’t cross my mind.
I am not a perfect mother, nor wife. I try but I am not a great cook or Suzy homemaker. I work full time and school full time and so the home suffers. I wish I could do it all. My mind and body are worn out. I have thought of the ways […]
Why does my mother care about my brother so much more than me even though he does literally nothing. He got kicked out of college, hasn’t been able to find a job, is planning to get married to a girl just as hopeless as him, and always asks for money. On the other hand, I have been living my entire life trying to prove that I am good enough for her.
Why – even with my 4.5 GPA and a stack of certificates as tall as me, and a room full of first place trophies – I am still not good enough for her to recognise […]
So, I found out for the first time in 20 years that I was right.. Being married did NOT give him permission.
When I said NO and when I was asleep and woke up with him on top of me it was NOT consensual.
Multiple times over a long span of time I lived in Hell because it was his ‘right’ as my husband.
FUCK YOU – YOU LOUSY MISERABLE SONOFABITCH – HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO ME? HOW DARE YOU!
HATE and ANGER and DEPRESSION and MISERY and its all because of YOU, YOU BASTARD
I want to SCREAM – all these fucking years like this because I WAS […]
Oh lord where do I even begin? I am new to all this and it’s frustrating and overwhelming at the same time. I have so many mixed emotions I’m not sure to look up or down. I guess I’ll start off by introducing myself I’ll go by Cam..to keep things simple. I am 27 years old, Married with 2 beautiful children. I have been married for 6 years this October. I feel as if my life is fading away in front of me. On the outside you would think I’m happy, outgoing, funny, beautiful person but on the inside I feel a very dark void […]
i have reached a point in my life that I never thought I would reach. Recently I found out my wife of almost ten years has been cheating on me for sometime now. I have worked six days a week since we were married to provide her with the life that she always wanted. We even have a beautiful son together that was recently diagnosed as having autism. I have done everything for this woman that I thought was the love of my life only to have her stab me in the back.
I came home one day to my son in his room playing, while […]
Been kinda upset recently. I have a friend who actually asked me on a date about 6 months ago, but never been in a relationship before I declined because I was scared and just don’t date people. I’ve kinda realized how good of a person he is and that I definitely do have a ‘crush’ on him, though I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship considering how my last one ended. He’s literally a guy version of me but with better qualities personality-wise. But now he’s completely uninterested and moved onto better people, I guess. Like he definitely had a thing for my […]
People say ‘just give it time, hang in there’ etc but what’s the point? It’s just more time to decompose, for your mind to deteriorate.
10 years ago someone said to me ‘you’re on the cusp of a really great relationship’, now that person is married and I haven’t had one relationship since. If that’s not a sign to slice your throat and let the blood pour out until you’re gone I don’t know what is.
None of my ‘friends’ talk to me anymore, or invite me anywhere, I never go out anywhere. When I texted everyone that I was changing my phone number no one responded. […]
Every day feels less meaningful and I’m trying so hard to be positive but I feel like I’m just wearing down. I pretend to be happy around people and the only ones who I can tell about how empty I feel is my counselor and my mom, but she rolls her eyes and gets irritated when I bring up these things. I don’t have any relationships that have any degree of intimacy. I just want to be able to be honest with someone and to be myself. I’m tired of waiting for it to happen though and I just want to be happy without needing things […]
I am lizzy, a 32 years old woman.one month back, I had a good job.i was happy with my life and job.everything was fair and well, until a good looking guy joined my office on a high rank and started liking(?) me for no reason.most of my female colleagues ( married and unmarried)fell for him except me.when they found he was paying attention to me, they become furious and started to misbehave.
Last month i had to resign from my job for their grudge.i lost my job just because of him,inspite of being a prized employee.now i am jobless,tried many places but failed.that divorce awaiting guy now […]
Hello everyone. I have been depressed for some time now. I’ve been to the hospital for it and stayed for about a week. I am married and my wife knows of my depression. while in the hospital they said that I have a general mood disorder and bi polar tendencies. With the mood disorder my mood can change in an instant. It can be triggered just by someone getting snippy with me or giving me attitude and I can help it.
The marriage overall has been good. But as of late there is a lot of stress and both of us are depressed. About a week […]
I’m just so fuckin sick of this. Before I met tbis creature, I was happy. My own apartment, job, money in the bank, car , NICE things. I genuinely cared about other people. I would make a lunch to give to whatever homeless person I saw once a week on the way to school. He has taken everything from me. I am just a disobedient dog, fuckin stupid cow, dumb monkey.
I don’t just want to kill myself. I want to throw myself in front of bus/train, anything really. I want to jump out of a building. […]
I cheated on my fiancé with a married man. The married man is the man who sold us our house and puts me to work as an artist.
My fiancé dumped me after finding out. Married man not fully committing and everything hurts. I could lose everything and I hate myself. Why the fuck do I ruin everything?!
I have slept with so many men I am too ashamed to count. Put my children through hell. I have no job. And no man wants me any more. I’m dangerous and exciting but not worth it.
Please something kill me because I need to be put out of my […]
Sometimes I wish that I didn’t exist. Nothing in my life seems to ever be going right anymore. I wish my life was over all the time. I don’t think about suicide as much anymore, and I haven’t tried in 7 months to kill or otherwisebharm myself, but I still wish I were dead.
Everything was fine until a couple years ago, and now I seem to be in a downward spiral I can’t get out of. I’m an 18 year old girl and most of my life has been pretty tough.
A couple years ago, I got my first job. It wasn’t the best job, but […]
I believe i married the wrong boy. I hate his fucking guts. He is such an asswhole with no regard for anyones feelings but his own. I want to leave him but im stuck. only other option is to die kill myself leaving behind a beautiful baby. Why stay with him is the question i ask myself. I fucking hate this guy. Stupid dick. I wish i had the balls eboygh to completely exit frim this shitty earth. Buuuuuut no im a big fat scardy cat. This is bullshit.
Hello Fellas,
I have a very painful story.. My uncles & grandparents betrayed my parents when they were newly married.. They were out of house and money.. My mom has a psychological disorder.. My dad has so many confusing decisions.. My uncles killed my 3 elder Siblings.. I am the younger one and the one and only son of my parents.. By the situations and time.. I saw everything Bad.. Some goodness.. I am in love.. But i cant get her.. Bcz she’s in another country.. I was going kill myself last night by jumping off balcony.. But i saw a news in TV infront of […]
I might be a little older than others using this page. I’m 36 married and 3 kids…One of them is 3 years old. But these thoughts always come into my mind that my family would be better off without me. The weight of it. I’ve struggled with these thoughts for years. My wife can find someone bettet