People toss around words like “hate” and “love” pretty often and yet they don’t know what either truly feels like. I thought I knew what hate was at one point, but I got over it and let it go. Then I met someone who caused me the most pain I’ve ever felt in my life. There hasn’t been a day in all these years I haven’t thought of that person, I dream about them, I think about them often enough when I wake up, during the day, and especially at night. Sometimes I picture resolving things with them but that’s extremely rare and not possible […]
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hold me? kiss me? love me! BUT U CANT. ur to far away. r relationship ALMOST ended today. :'( im so sorry. i didnt think u would it that way..just please stay. if i can just be next to..i can get our love back where it was…i know u love me but u knew im suicidal and said ud be there for me…i tell u i started cutting again…i do it again apparently we’re done. NO! please dont do that all ive done is hold back as much as i can from crying..just hoping u were here to hold me…even kiss me. let me know […]
Im dating one of the most amazing boys in the world. His name, i wont say.. due to people he knows may see this .. but lets get on with the story.
He was 14, and i was 13. He was dating a girl who self harmed, and this made him want to kill himself.. because after endless counts of trying to help her, it wasnt enough.. Him and i had been in love with each other for over a year. But no one knew. And we wouldnt tell each other our true feelings. Him and this girl met in “4south” the mental ward, at a […]
I have a friend, my best friend.. Â we have been friends since kinder garden, we were always there for each other.. no matter what.. and that is great and all, but i feel like i don’t deserve that friend. Because a couple og months ago i was at a party having a good time and all, then this really hot girl walks up to me and we start talking, everything is fine we start making out we walk to a bed room start undressing, and right before we are gonna do it my fried enters the room.. and he sees me with the girl and […]
I hit a new low last night. There is one person who, without fail, makes me happy – even if said happiness is fleeting. However, last night, I was so close to cancelling our catch-up because I just didn’t feel like catching up.
We did catch up, and I’m glad we did … in a way.
What it has gone and done is confirmed that I’ve pretty much invested 18 years of my life in the wrong person. Not helpful.
I also feel under siege at work. My depression has got to a point where it has noticeably affected my work, and my boss’s boss had to have […]
ok so i thought i just put everything bout my family in one post.
My dad: drug addict. been high for bout 30 years, off pain killers from his multiple surgeries. when he has been off i can tell cuz he is nice i know when he is taking them cuz his patience is screwed over and he is a dick. he has depression also.
My mom: is an assumer she will never listen to me i will be in the middle of a sentence and she automatically thinks the worst case scenerio. causing ***** fight after ***** fight. when she is stressed she turns […]
I am a person who has destoyed so many people throughout my adult life. I met my husband and he was married at the time, I got pregnant. He did not have a good marriage, or so I was told. He left his family for me, and we had our baby.  He still had his family, and his children came around at first, but that ended rather quickly. So we had another baby a year and a half later, and we had our family. His parents did not want anything to do with us, which I completely understood. I was hurt, because I was lied […]
Okay, i’m 13 years old. I have to repeat the 7th grade. I would’ve passed it, but i left my school 3 weeks early. That school stressed me out, to the point where i just couldn’t do it. i never wanted to go back there again. i only had about 2-3 friends at the end of the year. i like, pushed everyone away. i don’t even know how. right now, it’s about a month and a half into summer. i moved across town, so i’m going to be starting a new school. i lost connection with all my friends from my previous school, but like […]
Well, the title says it all.
The pain is becoming unbearable.
They say that people who try to kill themselves are “selfish” and that they don’t think about the others they’ll leave behind.
But have they ever thought how is a suicidal person really feeling?
Of course they haven’t.
The feeling inside my head is starting to become physical.
It’s sort of like nasal congestion.
When you have it, you can’t breathe.
So you either try clearing your nose, or you breathe through your mouth.
But I have the SAME FUCKING FEELING INSIDE MY HEAD!
I’m literally unable to think, speak or feel anymore.
I haven’t really talked with […]
a week ago i met a guy that admited liking me and i like him problem is he lives at my friends house for the summer (which of course is how i met him) anyways i have to go down to my friends tonight we are all making cookies for my sister’s friend who is dying of cancer.my problem is when him and i met he asked me something which i said no too but to wait a while i told my friend now her mom knows and he knows i told everyone but my mom knows if my mom finds out she will not […]
Amy, its been 3 years since your passing and I want to leave you a message but never knew where without being ridiculed and questioned whether or not I’m not ok. I was thinking of the day we me so young and carefree I was hopeless and depressed when you met me. That changed so quickly I suddenly had purpose for everything I had a reason to like myself and to like the world around me. I still have your glasses from freshman year safely perched next to the last picture of us, the last time I didn’t fake my smile, the last time […]
So cut my wrists & black my eyes so I can fall asleep tonight.
by _PrincessSin
written by _PrincessSin
I hope everyone who sees this reads it, I am no one special, I’m an 18 year old girl with so much baggage. When I was 15 I met this guy & at first I didn’t let him in didn’t trust him or love him, but at some point my guards came down & I let him in, September 27, 2009 was our day and it all ended after a year & a half. Imagine me vulnerable & alone. In love with someone who promised me the world. Said he fucking loved me forever and ever and always and eternity. Then one day he didn’t […]
Where do i even begin? I am 18 years old and i lost the people who pretty much raised me at a young age and developed depression before i had hit the third grade. Then i found out i had cancer, ive been fighting that for almost a year now and ive gone through so many surgeries and dont know what to say about it. But the weight of the sickness and the looming thought of dying and just having peace finally is so enticing i long for it. But then seven months ago i met the most amazing person i k.ow the person thats […]
I am socially retarded. Everyone I’ve met ever has understandably hated me. I’m aloof and unaware. People think I’m selfish and mean and awkward, etc. I have Asperger’s. Between my friends there is always a boundary between us because of this. I’ve wanted to die every day for a while, but it’s getting worse. Basically I am remembering everything that ever happened to me, and I know the phrases the past is past and only now counts, but I literally can’t forget. So I’m not sure how to live with the burden of days of years of things I’ve done. Life sucks a lot.
I started cutting in 5th grade. I always thought of trying to commet suicide but I was always to scared to try because i thought how will my parents feel ? When i got in the 6th grade things got worse I moved to a new town and my parents got divored and I didnt know anyone in this town, but i knew one person and they knew me to but not in a good way. It all started on facebook I met him and he looked cute but I never met him in person so I thought I would lie to my friends and […]
I met this girl. She is absolutely amazing. But that’s not the point. The point is I realised I was selfish. I realised that suicide wasn’t an option. What I mean is this girl I adored I found out she had cancer. All I could think about was how unfair life was. I cried a couple days just thinking about her. I felt helpless. After finding out how se had no control over her life it made me mad. All I can think about was how could people take life like its nothing. When my friends death was already determined. How could they throw there […]
,i only give people what they ask for,,but then you see these cold ass bitches roming this planet that are rude and mean toeveryone. people they never saw before, mean nomatter what,, they just walk past a random person and have to say the meanest shit possible,why?what is the point of being a ***** all the time? every second of every day??and some people iv met,i dont know what could make them such a mean cruel *****,iv been through pure hell,and atleast i dont try to ruine a random strangers day,, society is fucked up, and how are you sapost to think or look at […]
I swear if i hear one more person tell me im young and too naive to truly grasp what life is really about im going to go on a killing spree (not really, but im definitely going to scream at the top of my lungs) i have honestly had more life experience than most of the “adults” i know. ive had to deal with things most people could never even imagine, most things people would NEVER even want to imagine. Ive had to be strong in situations ive seen “adults” just crumble to pieces in. Who do you think takes care of the “adults”? we […]
I don’t even know why I’m here right now, I just don’t know what to do anymore. I hear nothing but the same everyday, tedious, asinine commentary that hums along relentlessly. I have no one to talk to about anything remotely real or of any interest to me. I don’t care about anything; I just want this to be over. All I’m capable of feeling is misery, zombie-like boredom and some fake short-lived ecstacy . I just have no appreciation for life; absolutely nothing makes me feel genuinely happy. I’ve lived my life in those brief moments, however fleeting, and once I come down I only feel worse […]
Because everything I touch turns to stone. So wrap your arms around me, and leave me, I can’t hold on….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
so… a lot. It’s easter holidays and told myself that i’m allowed to cut myself… it has slightly spiraled out of control. My left wrist is covered in small thin, lines and my right has 3 simple lines. My upper left arm looks…well. i carved ‘CRAZY’ into it….
Basically, i met this guy online, he is 18. we talked about a lot and then out of nowhere he removes me as a friend and blocks me…i could deal with the pain if i hadn’t started to really like him… and he also told me ‘ I would never leave you’…
I want to be sort of like […]