NORTH. [god is a corpse you can talk to with roses]. I hate it [youre there arent you]. I wake up each day in tears[sometimes bleeding]. I always have. Instead of eating i cut. I am the poster girl for cocaine abuse. Maybe Im already dead. I feel like it. I cant honestly be here. Can i. It hurts so much. dont believe in depression[or a god or deity]. dont want to. didnt feel like it so I never [fucking] tried. [girl] didnt eat cause girl was afraid. Never liked music cause music is false. wanted to die since thirteen. didnt throw up Im always […]
Tag:
Mom
Yeh pretty much the whole world has fucked up since you left.
My own mother hates me[find me].
I am black silk cigarette smoke. tarnished sticky suicide addict. I refuse to move. I cant breath. I cant understand these people. and lets face it why would I. I havent washed in ten days. My hair is greasy. I’m unemployed. I cut it off some weeks ago, so its not like, getting in my tired face or anything. I sleep all day. Â [pretend to be dead girl cause the woman inside is dying to leave]. In New York the temperature is three degrees below zero. Maybe i tried […]
I think I should say this off record.
Dear Destiny.
You are the best thing to happen to my life.
You are the only reason I decided to live past that year.
You despise me now.
But you will be in my heart.
Forever.
I love you.
I actually am quite unsure about what to do. My life seems so normal on the surface, and I don’t have any mental problems (at least I think so.)
But I lost my dad two years ago, he killed himself with the exhaust fumes of his car, not telling anyone what he was going to do before. All he left was a note saying ‘I’m sorry.’ and his flat keys.
And ever since that, I haven’t been the same. Sure, I guess I can still talk to people normally and am fairly intelligent, but everything inside me just feels so numb. Most of the time I […]
I’m too old to be young and too young to be old. I just feel lost. Even though I am teaching college, my students hate me. I’m a terrible teacher. I have no friends. I go from work to home and then back to work and then, I have to take care of my daughter. I feel so awful about everything. The only reason I don’t kill myself is that I have a kid, and she would never get over that.
i have had a very dangerous and sad life; when i was younger my father was abusing me, he abused me sexually, physically, emotionally, and mentally. he ruined my life, and made me not trust other males. He not only abused me but he abused my mother to, except he only abused her mentally and emotionally.
When he started up agan (metally and emotionally abusing me) i started feeling very lonely, sad, alone, i just hated myself and my life. i was always teased by eevryone during school and i started believeing what they were saying about me, which was *****, slut, horror, acme […]
Okay, so I’m starting a new thread because I was hijacking someone elses with my problems and that’s not fair at all, I feel really bad about doing that. I’m sorry.
I basically wrote my story in a comment so I’ll just paste it here and explain a little more.
Such a long story.. I was so desperate last night. I still am and I don’t know what to do. I’m 20 years old, still living at home and I don’t have a job. My biological dad killed himself as did my uncle, we were very close. My mom, who has been married to another man for […]
I am a shy eighteen year old girl, and have been a victim of bullying for the past nine years.
It first started when I was in the 5th grade and had moved to a new school. I was allocated a new friend to help me find my feet, but instead I had someone who would emotionally abuse me for the next three years. I told my mom in the 7th grade – she said she was mad at my “friend”, but she never did anything about it. All she could say was, “It’s a phase; it’ll pass.” I never told her about the other girl […]
To start off, i’ve had a history of mental disorders and depression issues for countless years of my life, but never thought of committing suicide. My grandmother committed suicide before i was born, and i saw how it effected my mother, and my grandfather, and never ever wanted to do that to someone else. No matter how bad it got, i stuck in there.
On December 7, 2007, My best friend committed suicide. I wasn’t aware of any deep trauma or depression in her, so of course, it came as a total shock. I can still remember where i was, what i was doing, and […]
Im only 16 but things are already at an extreme low. It started when my parents unexpectedly divorced when i was ten. my dad left, we had to move out because my mom couldnt afford the rent, I was inbetween my parents who would tell me each others deep dark secrets about the other parent to make me think worse of them. My dad told me my mum was a slut and that he didnt even no if i was his. I couldnt look at her the same and moved in with my dad for a year. My dad got depressed and got married to an […]
It’s been a while since i’ve been here….i wonder if that’s a good thing or not. Still, im glad there’s some place i can vent all of this.
Really, i don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want there to be a name for this feeling…Im not sure what i should do next.
I still cut. I don’t know why they just set it aside….im trying to ask for help, really i am. It took a lot for me to take that step and ask, but all they did is ignore it and act like it doesnt matter if i disappeared from the face of the planet. […]
what a life i have. my parents with there sharp tongues and quick jokes. such bullshit they know the impact they have on me its ridicilous i honestly dont know how ive made it this far. and to think when i was 9 years old being called a mother fucked by your own mother who didnt care who didnt think that would do anything to her son. what stopped me from pulling that knife quick across my throat, there are good things in this world but in my case they come rare and often stay short. bits of happiness for me was looking at the […]
You can choose to read this or not. I know it’s long.
I’m 17.
Ever since I can remember I’ve been witnessing abuse in my household.
When I was 4, I remember seeing my parents fist fight all the time, & I could never understand why. I remember seeing a few relatives standing in my doorway, but I don’t know why they were standing there, or if they really were there at all. I got my first taste of first-hand violence when I was 5. My mom was holding me in her arms while my dad was punching away at her face. & I remember asking him […]
I’m not suicidal, but I used to be. I wish I knew five years ago what I know now, and I feel like I have to share it– So I’m sorry if this sounds preachy, because I really don’t mean for it to be.
When I was five my sister, Jen, killed herself with an intentional drug overdose. A decade later I was thinking about doing the same. I’d sit on the floor of my room every day after school and try to think of reasons not to end my life, with no luck. A couple of times I held a knife to my wrist, even […]
all i can think about lately is ending my life. these thoughts went away for awhile. i used to have them all the time when i was little, probably about 7 or 8. i don’t know why i’ve never been able to have happiness. the clues are that my mom worked all the time and i never knew my dad. i didn’t have friends or family growing up. i was very much a loner. i was raped when i was in high school and again, a few years ago. it’s my own fault both times–drinking and being around people who don’t care about you at […]
I don’t know where to start. All i know is at 29 i should be further in my life than this. I’ve had SEVERE anxiety issues since i was in elementary school. I had to quit school and get my GED because of it. I went to cosmetology school and didn’t take my test because i was too nervous and was scared i was going to make an a** out of myself. Anyway, my dad who has cancer pays my rent. They denied me for food stamps so i have no food and no way to pay my bills. I’ve tried to work but because […]
She told me to get the rant out. Say all things that you keep telling yourself over and over quietly. Half of them, you won’t even mean or believe. Then talk to her. My mom. That’s all I ever want to do is sit down and talk to her. Have a conversation. In the past five years I’ve cut, made myself throw up, started smoking pot, drinking excessively and ending up in the hospital. I don’t know what I am doing or even why. I am impulsive like my father.
No one knows. My sister calls me psycho, I forgive her. But maybe I am. The […]
I’m 17 to start off with. My parents are divorced and my mom remarried. I am depressed. I don’t really “cut” or anything. Though, I don’t stop from letting an accident happen if it would hurt and make it bleed out. I could most of the time, but I just don’t. I kind of just get really relaxed when something like that happens. It’s proly not good, but oh well. I have ODed once not too long ago and was sick for like four days. I didn’t think of anything though I did feel like shit. It was my fault I did though. I thought […]
people people pls
hear my tears ive cried
Im 14 and living with my mom brother and dog
i have a scar on my arm im contemplatin to cut open again ive cut my wrist 3times took 8 advils and choked my self with a belt twice
life for me is hell im scared to die but im ready
i hope someone here  i dnt care how old what gender suicidal or not I NEED HELP
Someone hear my heart i cry in my sleep i lost my great grandmother been heartbroken three times twice  by the same guy i cry alot
smile less im so ugly im scared to look decent […]
I don’t no how to start but i am going to start by saying all of this pain i have is making it into suicide
~~I’m always home watching my brothers and never have any freedom to do what i want i never see my mom at home spend no day with us no more that hurt because we always used to hange out and have time to share anything with her when we need help or happy or sad or mad but not no more i keep it all to my self deep inside AND never tell no one it hurt to have to fake […]