Tag:

my life

Disappear and forget

by hoshi 8/11/2015

written by hoshi

I guess I’ll write something, just to get it out. Suicide. I’m not sure I really desire suicide, I’m kind of just like this one person’s story I just read. Floating in between the lines of life and death. Not really wanting to die, but just wanting to disappear and have everyone forget about me. I’m kind of confused about myself.

Let’s see… about me. Their hasn’t really been any major incident in my life. I guess I was bullied by this one kid when I was young, but I’m kind of over it – just when I hear his name or see him I […]

8/11/2015 2 comments

#SuckMyFuckDepression

by MaybeImAlreadyGone 8/10/2015

written by MaybeImAlreadyGone

Just a few things on my mind and I may seem harsh but reading some of these comments are making me ill. Your all encouraging each other to take your life’s? Giving each other options for easy ways out? I have been in the exact same situation as many of you&it does get better. We don’t need to encourage each other to take the easy way out. We need to be sharing some fucking hope! So if I come across as harsh, it’s because I generally care.

First of all, I don’t give a shit what anyone says; There is no reason why you should take […]

8/10/2015 16 comments

It’s about to begin

by Countingmydays 8/10/2015

written by Countingmydays

This is it. I’ve finally reached the ultimate irreversible thought of suicide, and never going back to the ‘so called’ dumb shit life. It’s gonna be a slow suicide anyway, it’ll probably take about 2 weeks for me to be completely dead, without being taken to the hospital. Now the hardest part is to pretend like I’m not dying haha. I’d like to say sincere goodbye to my dumb life, and my closest one’s, who’d hurt me too much that I didn’t want to live anymore. I have no worries that I’m leaving my parents behind. They truly don’t need a worhtless child as me. […]

8/10/2015 2 comments

relaxing at death’s door

by tphg 8/9/2015

written by tphg

I’ve had this image in my head for the last several weeks. It’s of me sitting in an empty white space, leaning up against a solitary white framed wooden door. I imagine that once I arrived in this white purgatory, I spent a great deal of time beating against the door, jiggling the knob, trying to move on to what’s next. But after a while, I realized that nothing I can do will open the door, so I sit and wait. Occasionally I knock on the door softly, whisper sweet nothings to it, but the door remains firmly in place.

It’s a metaphor for the way […]

8/9/2015 8 comments

The high-speed train is derailing in slow motion.

by Heiwana 8/9/2015

written by Heiwana

So I found out that I possibly have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and everything makes sense now. And I just want to kill myself because I just don’t know what is real and what is not. And I don’t want to live in this hell for the rest of my life.

I am not quite sure if I have it, but I have almost all symptoms and I fit every description of a person with BPD. I have mood swings, the “I hate you, don’t leave me, It’s your fault, I love as a brother…”, the getting angry for small things, the obsessions, paranoia, easily getting […]

8/9/2015 12 comments

The Unique One

by meequalmy 8/9/2015

written by meequalmy

Have you notice that now a days people are all doing the same things and if your unique, you become an outsider.

When I was in primary school I notice this was happening and I tried to be the exactly the same as them but that’s impossible so did what I thought was right, just be myself, but that was the wrong decision. I spent the time after I realise what I have done trying to fix up my mistake that I didn’t care for my study.

But I tried to fix something it was another step into the other direction. My grades went from great to bad […]

8/9/2015 2 comments

lets be honest…

by wellwellwell 8/9/2015

written by wellwellwell

so long story short,

im too lazy to live…sounds awful, selfish, stupid, but well its true, i finished school, worked in many shitty places which gave me even more depression, or opend my eyes actually. There is no big plan, there is no big scenario for each of us, there is no big meaning of life its all bullshit, we all know that, we all depressed because we think there is, that “c`mon, its cant be all, it has to be some purpose” well…there is not, there is happiness in life, sure thing, but those sometimes 2 min of happiness is worth living and suffer all […]

8/9/2015 9 comments

Turning My Life Around

by FreakShow2 8/9/2015

written by FreakShow2

When I was last on this site, I was on the brink of committing suicide, as I had been for, in retrospect, about five years. It was an awful period of my life, and I would never like to revisit it. However, I feel that it is necessary for me to come over here because of how this site effected my life.

After I had a particularly painful episode, during which I threatened to drink bleach and simultaneously overdose on various painkillers, I conceded defeat and got put on an antidepressant. For many people, these medications are rarely effective the first time you take them. […]

8/9/2015 2 comments

I am closed. Nothing more to give. Don’t want anything to take.

by bluu 8/8/2015

written by bluu

Would be nice to be dead.

And I hope that it will happen soon.

I never really had a chance to regain my life.

Once you’ve been down, you stay down.

Some make it back up, some just don’t.

I’ve been struggling for the last two years to regain pieces of me that were. But no such luck.

Hurting myself in the ways I do is the only way I know how.

8/8/2015 4 comments

Life’s difficulties

by Mark_1981 8/8/2015

written by Mark_1981

I look back over my life, such as one does, and can now understand the difficulties that I’ve had. Notwithstanding that I grew up in semi-severe isolation (refer other posts) I know now that I have a mental illness of some sort. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety but these, I believe, are side issues to a greater matter not yet diagnosed. I wonder if I am on the autistic spectrum? Maybe something else? I know that I do not have schizophrenia for example (no offense to those who have it) …. I just know that there is something more.

I live […]

8/8/2015 6 comments

Ending Before I Begin….

by Butterflybae 8/8/2015

written by Butterflybae

Where do I go from here? How do I even start to write this? It will be long and painful but I hope to give some light to my life….to help you understand where I have been and the footsteps that have brought me here.

I’ve been abused all my life. At the age of 1 my mother pour Mr. Clean down both my ears and caused my eardrums to rupture, causing me to lose my hearing. When I was 8 I received an at the time experimental surgery to give me back what they hoped would be some hearing. It worked and for the first […]

8/8/2015 5 comments

Where????

by Jussmee 8/7/2015

written by Jussmee

My decision to put an end to a meaningless is solid. To not have a family or love is not a mental illness. I have worked so damn hard in my life to what? to end up living in some shitty basement suite by myself and to be lonely. I haven’t held hands with someone in almost 3 years, I barely eat because I’m over cooking food for myself, I’m also unemployed. I can’t do this anymore.

Would anyone know where to find n3mbut@l or something like it in BC? I live in Canucks home base. I just want my soul to be free.

8/7/2015 1 comment

Worth reading

by Im sorry 8/7/2015

written by Im sorry

ok so I get this website is made to vent to other suicidal people and to get help on easiest ways to kill yourself and just a place you feel like you can go to when you’re feeling suicidal I’ve came here before looking for easiest ways to kill myself and read a lot of other people’s stories and I went through the phase of wanting to end my life. That phase started when I was in the second grade I gave all of my friends my things and told them I wouldn’t be back and went home and tried to stab myself multiple times […]

8/7/2015 3 comments

Why?

by LostandLonelySoul 8/7/2015

written by LostandLonelySoul

Someone please tell me why after all I’ve been through, after all the measures I’ve taken to make sure I never wound up back there again, why am I back there again? Why am I losing everything that has ever mattered to me in a matter of less than two weeks? Why does it seem he doesn’t love me anymore, even though two weeks ago, we got engaged? Why do I feel as if nobody cares for me anymore? Why am I slipping back into the place of just wanting to die and end my life, and nobody would care anyway? I know it’s a […]

8/7/2015 1 comment

Jealousy

by Dusty96 8/6/2015

written by Dusty96

I’m jealous. Not with what you would think, but I’m jealous of the people that gained enough courage to end their life. I’m jealous of the people that have cancer. Believe me, I’d trade my healthy body for yours. I know I don’t want to be here. I’m 19 and I already have my will written waiting on the day I finally muster enough courage and kill myself. I actually laugh because I like to cut myself to feel the pain and see me bleeding but I want a painfree death. I try to be happy but I fool everybody but myself. I’m not happy. […]

8/6/2015 11 comments

What’s the worst that could happen?

by thehusk 8/6/2015

written by thehusk

Most of my life is dominated by fear. So why not lay it out. What’s the worst thing that I can imagine?

I suppose it’s experiencing neverending pain, torment, horror, terror etc. That’s what ideas of hell tend to invoke. It’s hard to imagine feeling that kind of extreme negative emotion non-stop, for all eternity. Surely you’d become numb to any kind of torture, given enough time. But I can’t dismiss it entirely. The idea of hell has a deep grip on a part of my psyche. Because it feels I deserve that kind of punishment. I can’t really square that with my rational side. I […]

8/6/2015 4 comments

Thank you all for your warm support.

by luke23 8/6/2015

written by luke23

This will be my last post here if I am lucky.I have attempted to hang myself twice till now but failed miserably.Within the next 24 hrs,I will try to find strength to hang myself for the third time and hopefully this time God will be more kind to me and accept my resignation from this life.If you hear from me again it is unfortunate and I failed for the third time.Before I leave,I would like to thank wndoz8er,salt,kills and others for reading my posts and supporting me.I was only a member of suicide project for just 15 days and I feel I have known you […]

8/6/2015 10 comments

i just don’t understand..

by trapcloud 8/5/2015

written by trapcloud

so my life started to begin to turn into hell when i reached the age of 4. my mom, who is asian (I’m not being racist, I’m saying that our culture heavily emphasizes the importance of education to the point its life or death, and i think that there is a limit but not according to my family.) introduced me to a tutor. i know that it doesn’t sound bad, but i promise you, its hell. I’m not the kid who complains about homework, not at all. as my life progressed, my family was a prideful family. too prideful. for example, when my brother started […]

8/5/2015 2 comments

i can’t fucking believe it.

by spvnalittlelie 8/5/2015

written by spvnalittlelie

i’m not in a very good place right now. today i got on facebook and discovered ‘she’ sent me a friend request – the ‘she’ who my dad cheated with all those months ago, subsequently ruining mine and my mom’s lives. i guess she honestly doesn’t believe she did anything wrong that night… i don’t know what the hell kind of drug she was on… but how dare she. i saw that today and everything came flooding right back to me, all of it. i feel like i’ve been hit in the stomach and now i can’t breathe. what’s worse, my older sister is friends […]

8/5/2015 5 comments

What to do

by Twist 8/5/2015

written by Twist

I broke up with my girlfriend of three years almost two months ago now, and for her it was over a bit longer than that (I left the place we were living together at two months ago). I think I still love her but she already has a new boyfriend. I have been trying to get over her but I think it’s getting worse. I feel so empty and alone. I had a relatively good life before but now I feel like nothing can get better. I’m very insecure about myself.

I kind of know that it was my fault that she lost love for me. We […]

8/5/2015 5 comments

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