What point is there? As I get older, everyone splits off into couples and I sit here like a fucking lonely moron. I don’t want to date anyone, I want to be surrounded by my “friends” who can’t wait to ditch you every chance they get for a significant other (or simply someone better). I’ve been off my mood stabilizers and antidepressants for about 3 weeks now, but I’m thinking of starting up my mood stabilizers again because it is unbearable to deal with this constant fucking oscillating range of emotions. I think I’ll just submerge myself in as many drugs and mind alternating substances […]
Hi, My name is stefan and I’m 31 years old. I made many mistakes in my life and caused pain to a lot of people. I’m absolutely sure I will end up in hell after committing suicide. I realy like to talk to other people that know for sure they will end up in hell.
I’m blind so most parts of this site are not accessible for me. So please answer me by email. my email address is: stefan@deds.nl
Best regards, Stefan.
My post might seem a little strange but this are my feelings and i hope to find someone that feels the same.
Title: who also expect to end up in hell
text: Hi, My name is stefan and i’m 31 years old. I made many mistakes in my life and caused pain to many people. I’m absolutely sure i will end up in hell after committing suicide. I realy like to talk to other people that know for sure they will end up in hell. I’m blind so most parts of this site are not accessible for me. So please answer me by email. my […]
Everyone needs a hero in their life.. and sometimes the world just doesn’t hold enough of them. When times get rough and darkness takes over..there doesn’t seem to be anyone left to take the next step and face the relentless evil that continues to war against the humanity we try so very hard to protect.
That’s when the best of us all must surface..to lay their life on the line for the rest.
If you could shed this mortal coil and become more in this life.. who would you be? What hero would surface to do battle against the darkness?
DeadLeaf is the hero I’ve created to […]
I was gonna write a post that explained all the different shit I’ve had to deal with in my life…
….but i think I’ll just sit here and twiddle my thumbs instead!
*twiddle twiddle*
I’m 23 years old still living at home with my mom. I have no goals or ambitions. Everyday I sleep, eat, work, repeat. I have no social life, never even had a girlfriend. I only have one friend and we’re drifting apart. Im suffering serious depression and anxiety everyday but have no one to talk to about it.
Sure it would hurt a couple people a lot if I killed myself but if this is all my life is, what’s the point? I’m existing for the sake of existing
I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that i’m ready to leave. The only thing that keeps me here is the responsibilities I feel I owe my family. I’m 19 years old, and the only boy in my family. 2 sisters and my single mother. So you can imagine the huge amount of pressure I’m under to succeed. We have always been broke. Growing up my mother had many boyfriends come and go, many of them physically abusive toward her and me. (never my sisters though). As a child growing up I had Enormous potential, I’m extremely intelligent, there’s no denying as I have […]
I know this is going to sound crazy/weird…..
I literally hate myself. I am a guy, 35 years of age, yet I have missed out on so many great things in life. As a child, and even today, I cannot bear to walk around without a shirt on etc. It has made me become anti social, because I feel I am so ugly I don’t deserve anyone to like me. Yes I am still single because of this, and have no confidence in myself what so ever. I fail at everything I do, get laughed at lot when I make a mistake, so now I never […]
I have spent most of my life from the age of 15 in regret getting kicked out my family home and falling into drugs. Always being left by a girl from someone els, or just just being a second choice. Have never been able to hold down a job and always making mistakes and leading myself into trouble and being stuck alone with none to talk to.
I am coming to a point where i dont want to live anymore, i want it all over.. but i am afraid..
Everyone sees me so so happy and keep my chin up though the hard times, but i am […]
I could really use some help. Lately I’ve been unable to sleep normally and I can’t stop freaking out over the littlest things in my life. I have to go outside and do something constantly or I get really anxious and want to scream. I can’t sleep at night because it feels like I have enough adrenaline in my body to kill a bull. I also feel lonely constantly because my two best friend (who are dating one another) are either busy, together, or in another state like my female best friend will be for a bit. So I’m going to be alone for the […]
Well when I was little I had the best life I didn’t care what people thought, loved my life, loved my family, friends, oh man I had lots of friends. And I loved it I tried my best to be nice. Well on May 28th 2011 EVERYTHING changed for me and my dad. My mom past away and I miss her so much to this day. Shortly after that school got bad I started getting bullied I lost all my friends so I shut myself in my room 24/7 never talked and thought to myself what did I do? now I have bad anxiety/social problems. […]
I haven’t been posting much lately because I have too much to rant about and nobody needs to hear that shit. So.. have some ramblings.
im living on a grain of sand. If i make the wrong move, I’ll fall off. It’s so desolate and dry. I just want to turn it into a pearl. I need to break. I need to collapse and break things. I need to scream and put my fist through a wall. On the inside, i’m losing control, but they still seem to think i have my life together. In their eyes, im confident. In their eyes, I’m strong and focused. […]
My wife and I began our relationship 16 years ago. It was the best time of my life, literally. ..in love, being loved. Words can’t express. But if you’ve been there, you know what I’m speaking of. As the years have passed we’ve taken the route that many couples have- marriage, children, etc. Somewhere in this I hAve lost her affection. Her quickness to anger and the feelings of revulsion I feel coming from her to me are breaking me down. I always took such comfort in knowing that we would grow old together…that I would spend my years with my best friend and the […]
fuck, i don’t know where to write. This is the only place i felt safe to write something down and make it public. I am sorry, I am not suicidal anymore. Life is way more sucky this way. I can’t let myself even fantasize about killing myself because now I am a bitter grown up person who is not selfish enough to allow myself those fantasies. But I am selfish. And my lazy, depressive and lost existence makes life difficult for people around me, just less difficult than it would be if I killed myself. So I am that much less selfish.
Some days are so […]
I dont know what my life has come to. I wake up every morning and struggle to find the strength to get up. The emotions just overwhelm me, i used to just be able to push it to the back of my mind but now i can hardly make it through the day without falling apart. I cry myself to sleep every night and I cut too. Its like my whole world is falling apart and I don’t know how to fix it. I seem to be pushing everyone away but i cant help it. Im not living for myself anymore im doing for my […]
“Endurance” what does endurance mean? Hi everyone! I’m new to this site, but I’m sure we are all here for the same reason. We have suicidal thoughts or have actually attempted to take our life. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 9. At age 11 I was diagnosed with depression. I was never abused nor was I bullied in school, but I was always lonley when it came to socialize with others, I never thought that being alone was a bad thing. I actually liked being alone, but I came to realize that I had no friends. I have a family who cares A […]
Ok ok I’m gonna try to calm myself down enough to make sense… I’m a veteran infantryman/machine gunner from the US Marines, I’m 27 next month, and I have a 2yr old son& and baby on the way… Regardless, I lost my job, I’m in Australia with no family, my partner can’t come with me for many months if I leave and I can’t take my son from her… It would kill her. My life has been contemplated in the past and now I don’t know what what to do. I’m not gonna be one of these ones that get into elaborate plans of suicide, […]
Howdy, ya’ll.
I’ve been reading on the site and commenting every now and again, but I’ve never posted. I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts for a while. They stem from a complete lack of meaning in my life. To be honest, things have been going relatively well, I just find no joy in much of anything anymore.
I attempted suicide earlier this year, but was brought to the hospital before anything too serious happened. What shook me the most was that I had no realization, no epiphany, like one often reads of. Instead, I’ve fallen further. What drove me to the edge were the psych meds I was […]
Now I’m the one who wants to do the abandoning. Partly because this way, I’ll have nothing that keeps me from ending it all anymore. Seems counterproductive, doesn’t it? After all, when we’re at our worst, we benefit from remembering the things that motivate us to stay alive. It’s not like that for me. My relationship with my girlfriend, the few friendships I entertain, the big projects I have organized for the second half of this year… They don’t seem like reasons to wake up in the morning, but like handcuffs that keep me tied to this life I don’t want.
I don’t know if it’s […]
But it’s the only place I can say what’s really on my mind.
I’ve lost so much.. more like thrown my life away.
Giving myself fake reasons to keep going. Faking every step forward, but what I’ve really been doing is setting myself up to end my life. Subconsciously tying loose ends so that I may relieve myself from this pain. So that there’s nothing left to hold on to.
I use to come here at a time when I should have been happy..but the fact is that I came here cause I’m most certainly not happy. Things have only gotten worse, and now I try […]