How can I believe in love or marriage and having a happy family? I try to allow myself to want those things to believe they exists. Each time I try to do this the world shows me otherwise. I had a thing with this guy for a year and things weren’t working for us and I ended it. He popped back up now and turns out he has had a girlfriend for the last part of our thing. He wants to be together but I think that what he is doing is fucked up. I don’t understand why he would do this to her it’s […]
What the hell is wrong with me, I can’t even get death right. I’m so fucked right now, I’m still alone and fucking hungry! How and when does it stop?! I don’t know if I’m just too nice or stupid. On top of it all, I’ll be homeless in a few days, I don’t have a place for my dog to go, and I just got robbed by a guy asking for a quarter!!!! A fucking quarter!!! I only had 3 dollars!!!! I want to die because my lonliness is heavy on my heart and my head now. What is there to do now?!! I […]
Yeah soo this is my second post .. I’m thankful for the people on here cause you guys are so nice and actually care and understand each other..
I hope that we can get to know each other and get through these times together(: well here’s some more about my dysfunctional life..: Everyone ! I SWEAR EVERYONE !
Leaves.. they just do.. they pretend that your their best friend and blah blah blah but they just play around with your feelings.. i have been through 7 friends who just leave..
and it really kills me inside .. i just try […]
Hey .. I have spent a long time on this site and its pretty cool .. a lot of warm, nice people that care for each other even though we have never seen each other in real life.. It’s really nice to see that.. I am pretty good to make people feel better but I have my downfalls too.. but here is my story: it may not be as bad as some out here but its to much for me to deal with.. : I feel alone. I look around always and I see groups of friends laughing having fun enjoying themselves or […]
I am nothing but words
Soon…
They’ll be nothing too
I am self-destructing
While re-constructing
The lives of others
Death
The end of life for some
The end of torture for most
If I don’t make it through
Say something nice about me
So anyway, the last year or so has really sucked. My wife made up lies to the police to get me arrested and got a protection order against me to get me removed from my house. Never spoke with her for the next year, except through our lawyers since she served me with divorce papers. Now that the protection order is expired she has been talking to me sweet as can be when I go over there to pick up our son. Of course the divorce is still going forward, it should be final any day now. She’s supposedly a Christian now and she says […]
The thing with my look is that it is nerdy but something worse than that. I look fucking retarded that someone could stare at my face and burst out laughing. And it happens. Many times in fact. I get discriminated against SO badly by teachers alot and other people. You can probably say that no, everyone looks beautiful, I think you look okay blah blah. No mine isnt just ugly. I have a severely downward slanting mouth when my face it resting. My eyes are the worst. It is uneven one is upward slanting while the other is upward slanting. I cant even smile properly, […]
I don’t know why people keep connecting with me. I know it’s flattering and some people might actually would do anything to get that but it’s rather hard for me. I know spending time with friends would take me away from my problems for a while and that is nice but I know I’m going to be an ass and ruin it. I don’t even know if I’m being an ass or not. I don’t know if people accept me or just trying to keep a profile. I am weird and extremely moody. One shit can hurt me like what AM I!?
I am fine being […]
I fell through
Down into the blue
The tide’s taking me away
I know I can’t stay
It’s been nice to know you
But I have to go too
Don’t we all?
After we’ve had a fall
And I’ve fallen too low
So now you know
The extent of my sorrow
It’s longer than tomorrow
You’ll hear me cry
Forever till I die
Hanging loose
From a noose
My math teacher invited me to go spend this weekend with her, she was been helping me alot. And the funny part is all this year I didn’t start liking her til about 3 weeks ago maybe, and now she is a BIG part of my life.
The weekend was fun, her family was very nice to me. Saturday went for a ride on the tractor with her and her dad and saw the horses. Then her dad took me on a motorcycle ride! Then came back and she took pictures of me with her new camera all over the place. It was fun. Last night […]
Friday night I was really lonely and texted everyone I know who goes to my college to find someone to hang out with, or even just to come outside for a little bit to have a cigarette. It wasn’t that late, around 11, and not one of the 10 people I texted wanted to or could. Then one friend texts back and invites me to his friends. We just played pong and drank beers all night, and eventually my friend went home; his other friend was going to walk me home because it’s not a good area to walk around alone. It’s around 2am, his […]
Everyone crys or hurts after a break up. If you don’t, than you didn’t really care anyway. If I tried to off myself after every relationship that went sour, surely it would have worked…
You really can get over these people. It just takes time, depending on the person. The boy I dated before this guy, we were together a year and a half. I thought I loved him, but I loved the idea of him. I was lonely and in a new city. He offered me free drugs, had a nice car, and put up with my drinking. The sex was awful, but what did […]
“Yeah. I’m fine. Just tired”
“No. I’ll be okay.”
“Yeah. It is a nice day.”
“I’m happy.”
These are a few of the lies
The ones we tell all the time
Thes are a few short lines
From a book we continue to write
We don’t want them to see
For fear that they too will leave
So we hope and pray that we fit
And all the while faking it
I don’t know who I am
I don’t know what I want
I don’t know what […]
First of all I want to say I was adopted. I feel really dishonest about the mother’s day because how could I love someone who hates me so much, right? Need help this is just one of my many problems.
I hate living here. When my aunt’s family comes over to stay for a few days I swear she becomes so fake. She only talks to me when she wants me to do something or when I say something they stop to listen and then carry on with their conversations like I don’t even exist. I fucking hate that. She is so fucking fake when people come over. I can’t deal. It makes me feel like shit. Well, it’s not like she cares. Either way no one does. What’s the point of giving a crap about people when they don’t give a shit about you. […]
Well, I guess it’s time for my story. I have made some posts but I guess it’s time to say the real deal.
Ever since I was a kid my mom would spend most of the time at a hospital. I usually stayed with her best friend or someone that took care of me since I was a baby. Such a nice old lady. She was like the grandma I never had. So yeah, I went to a private Christian school and had a few close friends. Well there were times when the security guard would go looking for me telling me my mom was outside […]
I haven’t been on here in a while… OK so 4 weeks ago we (me, my mom and 2 brothers) left our house. My mom’s boyfriend was back in drugs and was drinking every night and coming home and would fight with my mom. He got into a fight with the neighbor and the neighbor busted his head open, My mom had enough. So we left and have literally been staying wherever. It was really hard, especially when trying to do your school work and try to get the thought out of your head that you don’t have a home, and friends would make fun […]
I’m stuck and I can’t seem to pull myself together. Each day I wake up it’s a gamble. I never feel happy, it’s either thoughts of suicide and tears or just being idle.
I miss the place when I was the life of the party. I used to feel great. I had friends and did many activities.
I have always had a void inside myself and filled it with things. From a boyfriend, shopping, working and even drugs. The past year that void feels like a gun shot in my soul and all the things that filled it don’t work anymore.
I feel empty and broken. I was […]
Been browsing for a few days now and finally feel like posting. This is the first time in my life I am seriously considering actually going through with suicide… I am not quite ready for talking openly on here but it would be nice to talk with someone who also uses the site to kinda “show me the ropes, (nooses?). anyways.. I am on omegle right now and if you want to come find me, put ‘suicideproject.org’ as an interest/keyword and lets see if you can see me!
p.s. I hope this is ok to do and if not just let me know. Not trying to […]
I’m so fucked its ridiculous. What’s a person supposed to do when they don’t fit into the ways of the world and can’t get what they need out of life? Just live miserably with no hope and constant heartache? I’m fucked in every way that most people call life, job, love life, sex life, marriage, kids. I’ve got no chance of any of it,I’ve just been fighting suicide crisis’s on and off for about 6 years and I always end up back here. Its not that I’m becoming desperate, I’ve been desperate for the last 6 years and its taken a toll on me – […]