I’m ending my life tonight. I don’t want to talk about my story or leave anything behind. I just want to go since there’s no hope of getting better. As an atheist I don’t want to cease to exist, but there’s no other option if I want to escape a lifetime of chronic pain. Despite the fear I have I’m also feeling relieved knowing that it’s almost over.
Tag:
no hope
You can hear the sound of my voice, grip my hand, flesh on flesh, and if you cut me I bleed, but I am simply not alive. I’ve had suicidal thoughts since the 5th grade when I watched my grandmother die. I dont know why I didnt cry. Arent you supposed to? Planned and pictured every possible way to end it. I’ve done horrible things to people and I know they were wrong, but I don’t feel guilt for any of it. I hate what I see in the mirror. It makes me want to scream and break things. Why am I so different from […]
Ive felt like this forever just knowing that i ruined and lost the best thing that has ever happend to me has just given me a reason. I cant do anything about it. Theres no hope for me. I love everyone who still loves me im sorry for what i have/will do to people. Im sorry to everyone who is affected by my dission and my depression but i have to do this… Its even hard for me to write but i still love you P.Y im sorry dont do anything if i do itll be ok for you. lm sorry to my family i […]
It’s Sunday and I am desperately in need of some hope…. I feel that I am coming dangerously closer and closer to the edge. I recently have been ruled physically disabled and unable to work due to an stomach illness that causes me to regurgitate most to all my meals. I have been diagnosed with this illness for the last four years. Doctors have no way of effectively treating my illness, so the possibility of improvement is bleak at best. At 18 I was declared mentally disabled due to several mental health diagnosis. After being on disability for 6 years and refusing to go to treatment […]
Hi,
This year I was diagnosed with Renal cancer for the 3rd time.In 2005 I lost my left kidney to it.2nd time it showed up in my right kidney and got a botched surgery to remove the tumor. Only thing is this time (the 3rd) it’s spread throughout my body. I will not die of it. I am a nurse and have watched too many people die of this horrid disease and I refuse to let it take me.I do not want my families last memory of me to be that of me lying in a hospital bed,wracked with pain,on so much Morphine I don’t […]
I feel like the most pathetic person in the world. I hate almost everything in my life, and so i know i deserve it when i say i have no friends. My colleagues hate me, they make fun if me and bully me, i am not sure if bully is the right word for what they have done to me but that’s just how i feel. Everyday i wake up thinking “how am i going to get over this hopeless day?” I sometimes just want to stay in bed and not going to work not going to meet anyone just stay alone. But i am […]
I’ve been depressed for 4 years now. It wasnt that bad in the beginning but as time went by it has gotten nothing but worse to the point where now it literally takes up my entire brain. Every single second of my life except for the time I am unconscious (sleeping) is spent being eaten alive by my depression, unable to think about anything else. How can I not be? I am literally the biggest piece of shit in the world. You think you or someone you know is as worse as can be you are dead wrong because you haven’t heard about me yet, […]
I could commit suicide. I know what it would do to my family. Sometimes that is enough but the probability of future despair and current pain. If I have no hope it will get better, why bother.
I’m so fucked its ridiculous. What’s a person supposed to do when they don’t fit into the ways of the world and can’t get what they need out of life? Just live miserably with no hope and constant heartache? I’m fucked in every way that most people call life, job, love life, sex life, marriage, kids. I’ve got no chance of any of it,I’ve just been fighting suicide crisis’s on and off for about 6 years and I always end up back here. Its not that I’m becoming desperate, I’ve been desperate for the last 6 years and its taken a toll on me – […]
I cannot put my pain into words. I can’t cry. I deal with it alone all day and late into the night. There used to be catharsis putting it into words. Not anymore. The only relief left is to die. I don’t want to die, especially not alone and painfully. But it is a choice between that, and enduring pain that I no longer have the strength to face. I have no hope, no dignity, no fight left.
Words, words, words. The counterfeit of action. More contemptible than the suicidal gesture done to illicit sympathy. I am doing the exact same thing, yet without having to […]
I don’t need a reason to kill myself. I need a reason not to kill myself. I have self harmed and suffered from severe depression for around 4 months now, and this was diagnosed 2 months ago. I hate everything and everyone and every day is a depressed numb hellhole. I have no hope for the future and no motivation to do anything anymore. I am failing in school as a result and this makes me even sadder. I am losing friends and all hope. Last month I came very close to committing suicide with a train and if I had alcohol I surely would […]
I am 34 years old. I am absolutely worthless. I am alone and will always be that way because I am the ugliest creature on the planet (short, fat, and the most disgusting butterface anyone has ever had the displeasure of laying eyes on). I have no hope to ever be loved. I have been trying so hard to be happy and I was doing well for a while. I was volunteering, working with kids since I will never have any of my own but my sister screwed that up by starting some shit with the wrong people online and dragging me down with her […]
For all of my teenage years, I’ve been bullied, hated and downright depressed.
I am 19 now and have already lost all reasons for me to be on this planet. The only thing that was giving me any sense of purpose left me a couple of days ago, my girlfriend. However, this feeling has been going on for a much longer time. Only now do I wish I was killed by something.
So here I am walking around simply not caring if I were to be alive tomorrow or not. I have no job, I had been fired from my last one with no reason at all, […]
This is my first day coming off my meds and already I’m staring to cry. Nothing’s wrong! I’m at work… But I feel an overwhelming sadness welling up inside me. Because my life is so shit because I always fuck up. I don’t know… people tell me I have so much going for me. Why do I feel like my world is constantly falling down and there is no hope of building it up again.
My husband just wants to hit me. He stays mad at me about everything and somehow it’s all always my fault. I don’t have close friends or family to go to, and women’s shelters only give you 45 days maximum to find a place to live, which isn’t guaranteed, and especially not for someone who hasn’t had a job in a long time because I’ve been busy helping my husband with his failing business and his new job. I have nothing to live for and no hope that I’ll find a job that will make enough that I can take care of myself…If I can […]
I don’t care about anything anymore. There is no passion left in me. No hope. I used to love reading. I would rapidly devour books. Now I slowly pick through them. I would avidly consume films. Now I get bored and turn off. It all seems hollow.
The world holds no real interest for me. No intrigue. It is empty. Things just …are. There is no purpose to it. No fairness. No intrinsic meaning. Just stars, planets, animals, people, doing what they do. It’s sometimes beautiful, sometimes hideous, but ultimately……empty.
Our civilization is slowly but surely destroying itself, and I don’t even care. We’re on course to […]
I was always more afraid of going numb and not caring than I was of my past and the pain. Though, I can’t cope tonight. I don’t feel anything. No emotion. I don’t even hear the voice in my head like I always do. I can’t think about living or dying.They have become one and the same. I have no preference. I’ve cut and I can’t feel it. I see is the blood but it doesn’t bring me any satisfaction or pleasure. I can’t breathe right. I think I drank too much with those pills for once. It feels like I am just shutting down, […]
i am worried that some people on here are trolling this site looking for the vulnerable. rest assured i am strong. yet in pain. i am so lonely right now. i made the mistake of calling my parents’ home. my mother is heavily into gaslighting and loves to confuse my mind. i screamed at her called her a name left a nasty message for them both and then fell into some guilt. now i dont care. i would give anything not to be this person anymore, hanging on by a thin thread. the agony of alone can destroy you. sick of the gd voices but […]
I want to die. At least I think it’s what I want. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to be nonexistent. If what I have been living these past 30 some odd years can be classified as life then I want just the opposite. Death sounds so dark, so evil, yet the thought of it feels so peaceful. Ah Peace, I don’t even remember the last time I felt your embrace. I’m so tired of fighting to hold on; so tired of struggling each and every day to not give up. I have no fight left. It is long gone and I […]
I am 15 I have sucky grades I broke up with my girlfriend she’s a cheating liar my family is anti gay my sister says I’m cutting for attention and I have no real support no way to kill myself no hope