My birthday is coming up, and it’s coming up fast. I’m so scared for it to become another sufferable day for me. Im doing my senior project on that day and let me tell you… It’s hellish days full of utter loneliness. I’m not even exaggerating it. Nobody talks to me, my old friends mooch all over my sister and never intend on talking to me. They will look at me and not even acknowledge my very existence. It rips my heart in two.. I would not go to it.. If my parents weren’t so strict about it.. I got all my hours everything done! […]
Honestly don’t know what to say… other than I’m new here and this is my first time opening up to people about my problems… If I ever get comfortable enough to talk about my problems. I guess this post is more kind of like an introduction?
Or just me trying to get comfortable here and meet people because I’m honestly really uncomfortable even just typing this.
Anyway, hi. I’m Ira. I’m 20 years old. I love to draw and I’m really shy so I’m sorry about this awkward intro… On another note… my avatar looks like a scary duck… Need to change it.
I am feeling so damned depression, feel myself nearing the outskirts of stability. So sick of fucking living in my mind. Wish I could talk to people, and extract some joy out of it. Wish that I felt wanted, wish I had something to interact with socially, and I don’t want it. It’s all a fucking joke. It’s all my mind, my brain chemistry, my destiny maybe (?), I got no fucking clue what it is, perhaps it’s my ever dwindling and fluctuating self confidence. I have no ability to focus, all I do is mindlessly watch television. I look at sp, and the posts […]
I am 63 years old. I was diagnosed with chronic depression almost 30 years ago. I used to be a musician but I’ve been out of work for a long time now. My wife is a nurse. She doesn’t like me anymore. She has her two dogs and they’re what she likes, not me. I can’r seem to do anything but annoy her.
I have no money. I can’t go anywhere, although the best thing would be for us to separate. She’s always giving me dirty looks and acting nervous and anxious with me. All I want is for us to get along but she seems […]
The satiety center in my brain is on overdrive craving entertainment, but my appetite for joy is like anhedonic quicksand enveloping every attempt at satisfaction. I have been searching for something, can’t really say what it is.
At times it feels like I need social interaction, but nothing really curbs that needy feeling. I can hardly talk to my closest of friends. My old internet community doesn’t feel welcoming anymore as I pissed the majority of them off (imagine that =P.). I can’t find a place to call home really, not any longer at least. I sought out an old girlfriend, our relationship formed into […]
I’m an 18 year old highschool dropout with asperger syndrome and has thoughts of suicide from time to time.
I lost my baby. I lost my baby. I lost my baby. This is all I can think about. I feel terrible and can’t seem to get better. I have a baby sister, I can barely look at her because she reminds of the child I lost. I know it’s not her fault but I get sad every time I see her. Today was her birthday, she turned a year old. All my family gathered and cheered and I felt miserable. I feel so alone, they don’t get me, and mistreat me. I want to be gone so bad.
I finally realized that I’m depressed; and death enters my mind like a lost cat tiptoeing in my mind, giving a small purr. I’ve never been good at life. It feels like a job. Even when I was young, I wished for death. It’s strange hoping to die when you’re 10 years old.
I read Anne Sexton’s poetry all of the time, like they’re my words:
“Even then I have nothing against life. I know well the grass blades you mention, the furniture you have placed under the sun. But suicides have a special language. Like carpenters they want to know which tools. They never ask why […]
Planning on running away from home, any ideas? I’m 19 yrs old
I don’t feel I can take this anymore. I feel so empty, so lost, so alone. No one understands what I am going through. And as time passes by, I convince myself more that I need to be gone, that I can’t be here anymore. I miss my baby, I miss him, I miss school, I miss my old life. I wish I wasn’t such a coward and could attempt my plan now because that’s the only thing on my mind. I feel so depressed, so unlucky, so miserable. I want it to stop, I wanna go to sleep and not wake up.
I am 14 years old and the reasons for me to sucude are:
1. My exam pressure is too much, even after studing more than 50? in a year my dad isnt satisfied with 80% of average marks and pressurises me whole day and i know i got no bright future woth this much of marks so i want to end this right now. 2.My dad is very rich but I am too poor, i got a low specs pc which has i3 has outstandjng features, a 1.8 years old phone and my dad doesnt want to buy the s7 edge for me after alot […]
My mood is seemingly leveling out after I cleared things up with a close one, and also simplified my life. I kinda closed the part of my life that concerned less than legal practices which did me wonders. I felt this impending sense of doom, like my life as I know and understand it could come to close. While a structured day with free meals and anal rape sounded lovely, what would I ever do without the internet? I still suffer from hyperhydrosis of the under-arms on a daily basis, which brings me enough tension to push me to the brink of suicide or total […]
My name is Costy. And I am shit. Do you know what shit is? It is Costy. Costy just dosen’t understand life.It is a miracle? or just an accident? Whatever it is , it dosen’t have any application in our daily lives…I guess that the major cause for my downfall was nihilism, even if I would have everything in the world..we are going to die anyway. What is there for us? Nothing or maybe “something”. I don’t want to get old..
I have so many fucking toughts in my head. Why do I exist? I just want peace.
Hi SP,
It’s been a while since I posted here, but I just wanted to let you know how I’ve been doing.
You may remember a post that I put up in October called ‘About a Girl’?
Well, it turns out that this girl I’ve liked since September likes me back, and it’s one of the best feelings ever.
We’ve been on a date, and we have another one planned for this weekend. So yeah, I’m pretty happy about it.
It’s just nice to know that someone sees me as a nice person, especially when I can’t see it myself, and it’s been really nice […]
I’m incredibly tired. I have to work in an hour. I’m permanently lonely. I try to improve things but im too much of an old useless failure. Im in physical pain mental and emotional pain and i don’t want to live anymore. I wish I had a method. I’ve tried so many times but life I failed. Just like ive tried to improve my life but i failed. I wish death’s sweet embrace would show up. Im just fucking tired.
I was hanging in the bathroom by my neck 20 min ago and my legs went numb. I wasnt strong enough, so I let my self down. I’m a 23 year old women and I’m in college. I am very alone. I don’t like to express myself emotionally because I tried it before but no one understood me. Sometimes I wonder if there’s anyone out there who feels like no one in the world understands you- who feels alone. I don’t know where to go or where to turn. I feel suffocate- stuck in a corner- always pretending everything is alright. But I’m tired and […]
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Stuck at home today while the winter storm rages outside.
I’m passing the time watching old episodes of Star Trek.
I found this picture, which is alarmingly accurate.
So far I’m doing a lousy job of “Live Long And Prosper”, but a great job of “Suicidal And Poverty-Stricken”.
I must live in that alternate universe where everything is the opposite.
My doppleganger in the other universe must obviously be rich, healthy, and excited about the future.
Plus she gets laid CONSTANTLY.
There was a time i was an active user on this sight. tho it was a long ago, i doubt anyone on this sight recognises my user name, i first came here back around 2010/2011. so im old school SP, when i joined the sight was different, we didnt even have things beside our names, nevermind being able to put pictures in beside our names. I came here looking for a suicide partner, someone to go out with. i spent every waking moment reading of ways to die, and i found many easy ways out. but this place gave me the one thing i didnt […]
How can we all be so sad? Do you guys actually feel connected ? I see some old and some new, do we really help, or prolong doomed options?
I’m a drifter I’m come and go. . .
Cause I one day I find hope and the next dispair…
Which I believe is worse, my duel personalites are tearing me apart…
Where are you? Deep in your hole climbing or looking down?
so i didnt pay the internet bill and its way overdue to go off…thing is i downloaded a 1tb worth of movies/series/games/music to keep myself sane..then the un-thinkable happened my fckin hdd went on fire i lost my phone other week also and i fuckin hate tv so ive been sat in the house with no food reading books from the library even put the noose around my neck a few times could not go through with it oh and i trapped my left hand tip of index finger in door and its hangin off ive stuck it back on and its black should go […]