I am under a great deal of stress at the moment. It’s finals week at school and I have my Algebra 1 exam tomorrow. This test will not only determine if I’m going to pass the class, but also place me into a ranking chart of students heading into Algebra 2. Ever since I was 11 years old, I wanted to be perfect. My dream is to go to Harvard, but I’m so stupid and ignorant that that probably won’t happen; nevertheless, I feel as if I have to get a perfect score on this test in order to determine my self worth. If I […]
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Panic Attacks
So I haven’t been updating recently and a lot has happened in my life, so I decided that I needed to somehow let it all out and share with you guys. DISCLAIMER: It will be long …
So idk if I told you but my cousin moved back to my city (he used to live in Chicago) and he’s currently training to be a police man, but something that has been bothering me since he got here.. First of all, he doesn’t live with us, he lives with his other grandma. Second of all, my mom and grandma spend every single night during the week making […]
ok, so normally, i’m a pretty happy person, but lately, i’ve been thinking of things. like, cutting myself, or killing myself, and this has never happened before. also, i’ve been having these panic attacks, and just being really sensitive and emotional. i think it might be this fanfiction i have been reading, because it has selfharm and other really triggering things in it. i dont even know what to do anymore.
Being ignored by friends = Best thing ever. Though these days I can see why, I’d get the hell away from me too if I could. Yes, I sound like a passive aggressive brat.
No, I don’t really give a damn at the moment. I’m just busy glaring at said friend on Facebook and wanting to hit them.
I’m wanting to hit everyone, honestly. I’m tired and frustrated and perilously close to giving up for good, in the most permanent way I can manage, because nothing helps.
A couple friends have tried, and I thank you, and I love you, and you don’t deserve to put up with […]
In 3rd grade, I was told by my doctor that I had anxieties. I was going home from school everyday sick to my stomach due to my constant worrying. My father hadn’t contacted me in awhile and it was the first thing that had me worried so bad at a young age. I was making myself really sick and I’d have panic attacks. As I got older, I struggled with more teenage problems. My anxieties were at an ultimate high. I’m sixteen years old and can barely drive a car because I get worried about everything I’m doing and I have a panic attack and […]
This is my story from the start http://suicideproject.org/2013/07/my-story-161/ please reaad that first before continuing down so you will understand the bits that i’ve missed out.
So you have read the beginnings and the main depth of what happened in my child/teen life. Heres some that i have missed out like my eating disorder , suicide attempt and the visions and self harm.
Im going to start off with the visions i get when i have anxiety attacks or panic attacks i haven’t told anyone what i hear, see or feeling during these episodes. Not even my psychiatrist. Well i get flash backs of the that night i got […]
To whomever reads this
I see a therapist to deal with my anxiety disorder that is heavily plagued with panic attacks and I am often ‘scared’ into a state of immobility where I cannot think move or breathe for short periods of time.
Anyway, we were discussing characteristics of what a person with anxiety exhibits and whether there are any common links. He had studied all his patients (and aside from other details he wasn’t able to release under confidentiality laws) he was able to tell me 64% of his patients were aquarius.
It is funny that this statistic exists. A profiling overview of an aquarius person states […]
I have always struggled with anxiety and depression.
It started when I was 10, I had just started middle school.
I was Bullied. Badly.
Everyday after school I would rush out of the school and try SPRINT home so that the bullies wouldn’t catch me.
They usually did, And I usually went home physically and mentally abused.
I was depressed… but I NEVER thought about committing suicide.
It took a while but my parents finally noticed how depressed I was.
I went to counseling.
It helped, but It didn’t stop the bullies.
That February we moved cities to get me away.
My new school was much better.
I made friends, True Friends. I had my first […]
“You are not needed”
Those words ring through my head constantly
Ever since they were spit at me, spit at my face
And I couldn’t say anything
Because that would mean denying the truth
Suicide
I’d always considered it yeah
It was always passive, a passing thought throughout life
The usual motives are still there, and it’s all so cliche
I think I am fat and ugly and stupid
My story just seems like another one of those huh
The most major problem I have is depression
And my emotions are unfortunately unstable
I have panic attacks, I never see them coming
Then comes cutting, such a sick process of harming and healing
Then attempts to make myself hurl, all […]
Feeling overwhelmed again and feel that crazy need to DO something; so I am going to write as honestly as I can in hope of clearing my head and maybe helping others to not feel so alone..
I am 19 years old, going to a community college in hopes of learning everything I can about computers and eventually getting a PhD. (programming and hacking take me to a different place, a place where I am extremely intrigued and life actually seems interesting because there is so much to it.)Â Normally I just get tired of waking up to the same routine everyday, not so much that […]
….I’m afraid to live. But I guess I am going to try. I tried to kill myself by overdose but it didn’t work and I had to spend some time in a mental place. To say the least, it didn’t do a thing. I am still depressed, and occasionally I still want to just stop living. The only reason I don’t kill myself is because I have people I love. I can’t hurt them. I am on different pills now, but I have issues staying asleep and have started having panic attacks. I want therepy but we can’t seem to set up a meeting. […]
I have been seriously depressed for 10 years now. Â I have been planning to kill myself for about 2 years. Â Just when I think that I am getting on top of it all — taking my medication, seeing my psychiatrist, managing my life IT ALL STARTS AGAIN.
I am in a high stress job. Â Before I got depressed I was a high flyer. Â Heaps of work etc, Â Since getting depressed it has all gone away, lost to me, I am worthless, I am a failure etc You have heard it all before.
Now I am starting to have panic attacks. Â I do not want to do […]
well here we go, the story of the pretty little rich girl is being spoken about.
Hey, my names Shauna if you knew me you’d know that I’m a very outspoken, confident person, nuh huh you don’t really KNOW me then. where do i begin?
My ‘father’ was an alcoholic, drug and woman abusing piece of scum, he numerously abused my mother and would’ve abused me if i wasn’t for my mothers courage to leave him. Thank god she did otherwise i wouldn’t know where I’d be right now. Nether the less i started primary school, i was the fat gingery blonde girl with glasses who everyone […]
Do you guys think panic attacks are…wimpy? My mom does. Actually, I just had one a moment ago. She says she doesn’t want tantrums at her house. I can’t help it though. I’ll start hyperventilating, and suddenly I start screaming my head off. I’m so stressed I can’t take it anymore! These attacks just come and go. Anything can trigger them. Every time I have one, I just feel so weak and worthless. But this time I almost got my razor out. I don’t even have anything to be depressed about. I have no right to be depressed!
So I’ve been on this circle where I am ok for like 3 weeks. You know still sad but not crying as much and then like a wave it hits me. Then I have this entire day were everything will send me over the edge and the first night is the worse. I cry uncontrollably and have panic attacks, I feel like I might die right then and there. Nothing helps, I have no one to talk to about this. My mom thinks I’m fine so I play the part. I had a breakdown 2 days ago so I’m back on the road towards […]
I’ll start of with this, im a girl, a teenager, who’s constantly thinking about death, has panic attacks very often, loses control of myself at night sometimes, i just love the idea of causing harm to herself.
but these things..I don’t want them to be a part of me anymore, i want to move on. I want to hold on to the littlest things in life,i want to survive this. until maybe around 12 hours ago I was just so ready all i needed were the right pills. but certain people, in my life, they just mean so much to me and i know that […]
Well as you can see above (Phobias from Hell) are the root cause for my want of self destruction. I know this is somehow cliche with my appearance, but I can’t change a stereotype.
Since early childhood I have had an irrational, severe phobia of doctors. I can’t even go to the school nurse with out a panic attack. To go along perfectly with my fear of doctors, I’m a hypochondriac to the extreme. When I was 12 I was convinced I was dying of colon cancer and (tad graphic, sorry) at any moment I would discharge blood from my bowels and that would be that. After […]
I think we should all take a moment to think about how the choices we make affect everyone around us. When my sister chose to sneak out and do drugs, smoke cigarettes and get pregnant, she wasn’t thinking about the arguing that I had to deal with when she wasn’t around. I listened to my parents scream at each other nonstop over disagreements on how to discipline her. She didn’t realize what it was like for me to wake up to cops knocking on the door at 2 in the morning bringing her home. She never apologized for the panic attacks that occurred within me […]
I go back to school tomorrow, and im so freaked out. Im practically having panic attacks. Im just scared because i go to an all boys school yet you would think its more like an all girls school, so much bitching and stabbing in the back goes on, and i have no friends, i get called gay by everyone, and every single little action i make, including eating ice-cream makes me gay. And now that im in year 9, everyone is getting worse, now any nice people are just being impossible. I wish i wasnt so mature sometimes, it just makes life more difficult -_-‘
so my name is courtney im 16. Â i dont really no where to start. i live with my dad and stepmom, yet i always hadnt. Â my mom hade at a youn age she had 4 kids. growing up she was more worried about drigs and partying so i was left there to raise the other children while i was mearly a child. my mother went from man to man, we never stayed abywee long. so i deacided to move in with my dad. lottle did i realize that this would be such a bad choice. when my dad gets mad at me he grrabs me […]
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