So last night i almost started crying multiple times in public, but no one noticed. i went to my old high schools band concert because i was in band so i know the majority of upperclassmen in the band. i wanted to see them perform and i missed their winter concert because of a car accident. a main reason for my going was to see him. to see the guy who made me realize someone gave a shit about me over a year ago. hes the main reason for my being alive right now and back in november i told him about my depression. hes […]
Tag:
problems
I’m finally going to go see a psychologist.
I set up a meeting for next week.
I don’t know why I am doing this. If most of y’all have followed some of my posts, I stated my decision to end it all in a month.
I guess I just want to hear the problems directly. You know, self diagnosing? I say, before I die, I want to hear it formally. A real diagnosis.
How can I really die if I’ve never heard a professional confirm it?
But hearing it all is, ultimately, not what I want either.
Its just another reason to point out and […]
The subject was me and my tough time with life. He said that I’m being too hard and critical of myself. It’s very hard not to be critical of yourself when it’s your own actions which causes all the problems. How can someone who has failed in many aspects of life actually suppose to not be critical? How can they just ignore it?
You could say that you must notice and not be emotionally negative about it, but it’s my impulses and way of thinking that had made me into something I hate, it causes a negative perspective. it’s only human nature i think
I was wondering if there was anyone who can relate to this:
You’d think that after so much shit in this world, and the major issues that piss you off, that the little things don’t matter anymore.
But for me its the opposite:
I get pissed off and angrier or sadder if sudden tinier obstacles come along my way.
Which I don’t expect at all. I mean, larger issues bother me to no end, but you’d think that after a while we build a tolerance to these larger problems and we become oblivious to the tinier things But nope, the smaller issues become the most frustrating, at this point.
Tell me […]
I’m gay, this is the first time I’ve said it to others. I’m to scared of living with myself if I come out because of the people around me, but I feel like I’m dying on the inside. I have people I care about and people I love, but I don’t want to put them in this situation of having to deal with my gay ass. I have a gay friend I like but she’s the definition of a hoe, but she has her moments. Then I have a straight friend that just leaves me breathless every time she speaks. I want to just be […]
Well hey im 15 and tonight i told my mum what i’ve thinking for 4 years.. i wanted to disappear. Its not like i want to die or commit suicide, also i just hate the word suicide and people say “commit” suicide, it sounds like its a crime, but its not.
Well so I told my mind that I was just so sick and tired of life and didnt wanted to do anything. I just want to fade away and disappear. And if I do die I want to die by someone else or by an accident. So I don’t have to feel horrible by making […]
life is pointless and we suffer for nothing.
so lighten up
everyone is fucked in some way, they might just not show it. including the people who you think have everything.
you can analyse things all you want but in the end you’re just trying to rationalise something to feel better. you’re just going around in circles and will choose whatever answer makes you feel the best. which means it’s all a lie.
you’ll become more and more desperate for psychological stability. from people, drugs, alcohol, whatever.
accept the things you can’t change, feeling anxious or miserable isn’t going to help you. what do you want?
there’s no point of looking outside […]
In the led zepplin cover band. I hope he is okay too!. I think its so cool to make zepplin music even so just drumming. I hope he’s good. I missed the whole problems thAT arose with the discussion. But i do hope we can work it out. TOGETHER!
I was feeling hopeless and then I looked up at the sky and saw the stars. Billions of stars and the vastness of the Universe all the way to the biginning and for a moment all my problems seemed insignificant.
Creation is an amazing thing, i dont believe in God, which makes this even more amazing. For us to exist, infinite amont of puzzle pieces over billions of years had to fit perfectly together. I wish i could live in a time when humans, as a species, had to fight for survival. Those were the simple days. Without insects we wouldnt exist, without preditors we […]
I feel terrible inside myself and I don’t think it’s going to go away. I feel like I’m just a bad person who generates negative and bad thoughts. I’ve seen people in bad situations, depressed because something bad has happened to them, but inside they are great and positive. They would want good things for themselves and other. I don’t feel like something like that. I feel like I’m the thing that causes all the problems that are in my life. Im the bringer of bad energy and I truly wish I was never born 🙁
I’ve tried to post comments on a couple of posts today, but none are showing!! Anyone else having problems or is it just me?
Tho…if you are also having issues posting comments, then you wouldn’t be able to post a comment for me to read… O_o’
This just started happening today. Was able to post no problems whatsoever even up until last night.
I understand that many people have it worse, but I feel hopeless. I’m young, too young for my experiences, but on the cusp of adulthood. I’m supposed to be planning for my future, but all I can plan for is a way to make it through the day.
My mother is bipolar, my father is dead, my sister is severely OCD, my half-sister is a manic-depressive bipolar manic paranoid hallucinogenic schizophrenic alcoholic with severe and violent anger problems. Her two children, as well as all the others listed, live in the same household as me.
Of course with all of these illnesses in bound to have some […]
Hey guys, I haven’t been on here in a little bit and I think it would be best for me if I leave.. I feel this place is a good release but the surrounding negativity doesn’t help me. My mom is getting really on my case because I’ve been cutting again and other problems in life are arising and I think I should try to do better. I wish all of you luck, truly, and if you ever want to talk just ask for my email on this post, ill try to check it for awhile. Do better in this life than I have.
Not purpose. not peace. I will get over this lust, this loathing that lurks by my mouth. lust of my awareness to get mixed with outside things, lust to get lost in memory. why, this self is not the real one, i have seen it. There exists a state where one is distant from everything and yet he can function genuinely and solve problems. Everything is complete and honest, no lie involved.
Can’t take feeling this anymore. Unacceptable. Gotta change something. Do something.
So, what’s holding me back from living a worthwhile life?
Well, superficially, there’s all the minor health issues. Just enough to make me uncomfortable most of the time, without actually being severe enough to deserve medical attention (not that most of them are curable anyway.) Either my skin problems are flaring up. Or my stomach problems. Or my allergies. Or my insomnia. Or my back problems. The combination means I never feel well.
On top of that, there’s all the little embarrassing physical inadequacies (both real and perceived.) Because I need more reasons to feel inferior.
But let’s put […]
It had been a really weird but happy (?) kind of day for me today.
I was actually planning to kill myself this evening. And today was supposed to be my last day on Earth. But then, idk maybe God is showing me signs to live.
I woke up this morning feeling really anxious. I had planned out what to do for today, finish suicide note, delete all social media accts., clean my room (finally!) and all those stuff to prepare for my departure.
I heard my mom and my cousin downstairs talking about some serious matters, a problem with my other cousin and her husband, our financial […]
Well, hello everyone..
I haven’t written on a site like this before but tonight I needed to tell someone, anyone before I explode. Just as an over view I’m an 18 year old in the grey as hell country of England on the south coast somewhere..
I have always been treated for one kind of mental health issue or another. My mom had me put through Dragonflies which is a kind of bereavement councillor when I was in year six so around 10 / 11 years old, I think she was hoping I was just sad when my grandad passed. Don’t get me wrong I was but […]
why is it that it hurts so much that the loss of the love of your life, kids and marriage just make you want to die?
does anyone else think like this?
nothing I do seems to take the pain away. I’ve followed all advice concentrate on yourself, give her space, your a good man you will find someone else. I know my problems compared to others including on this site seem small…but to me at least this is everything…yes I have a good job, two fantastic kids, I’m fit and healthy, good friends, but even with this I’m still at rock bottom! What is wrong with […]
Some of my friends been calling me selfish for not being open and how I didn’t even share about what’s been bothering me. What they don’t realize is, it started with sadness but after a while I can’t even explain what’s wrong with me. Even if I do tell them everything, I already know what’s their comeback is. Some of them will be telling stories about how they struggled more before and come out alright. Some of them giving their successful friend as an example. I mean, really? I seek for any listening ears to my problems, my woes, my concerned, my sadness, my suicidal thoughts, […]
I told him I was hurting. I told him today had been hell, but he has his own problems. I try so hard to keep him going. Even when he’d rather just end it. I try so hard to keep him happy. Tonight? Tonight I needed him. I needed him so badly. He just let me drown. Now I’m in bed at 9:45 waiting for tomorrow to begin. I thought I was more important than this. I thought I was someone special. Then he just let me drown.