Tag:

Relationships

by squirrelfriend 9/30/2012

written by squirrelfriend

reading a lot of posts on here lately (i’m around, even if i don’t comment, i don’t like trying to offer advice when i don’t have any), seems like some of this site has degenerated into the petty bullshit that communities always do. just goes to show that even the most superficial of relationships break down in destructive ways. there’s no point in trying to connect with anyone, really.

anyway i noticed that most people say that this is a community of people who are at their end… people who have made multiple attempts, people who have been with depression for a long time. now i […]

9/30/2012 7 comments

You know it really does not get better

by Here4now 9/25/2012

written by Here4now

Ok–I’ve been on this earth for 45 years. Im in decent shape & until I lost my job made a decent living. For the past 30 years I have been building up my courage to commit suicide.Â At various points in my life I have tried suicide. Cutting, sleeping pills and have thought of running my car into a truck (but why ruin some strangersÂ life) so I have not done that. Many people have told me that life gets better. By living I have proven that hypothisis wrong.Â My point of this post is to state that were I sucessful in my first attemp when I was […]

9/25/2012 43 comments

Sort of a complicated situation…

by Salo 9/18/2012

written by Salo

Hey guys, I’m completely new to this place, though I’m certainly not new to the concept of suicide and depression. I’m brought here today to get some opinions on the current situation I’m in. Some background information first:

The name’s Justin, I’m 22 and a resident of Canada. I know you’re not supposed to share your real name online, but for me, it’s far too late for anonymity. Without going in to too much detail today, I’ve struggled with depression all of my life. I don’t know what to boil it down to, but I’ve always been an anxiety-ridden, meek fellow with no motivation, drive or […]

9/18/2012 2 comments

Relationships…

by Tammie Louise 9/16/2012

written by Tammie Louise

I walk down the street and all I see is couples holding hands and kissing (whetherÂ they are two boys, two girls, a boy and a girl, young, old) and I feel like shit,Â becauseÂ my girlfriend is Samoan, and her family is really religious and against gay people, soÂ I’mÂ not aloud to tell any of her friends about us and IÂ canÂ only tell my friends ifÂ IÂ know they wont tell anyone and its sucks,Â becauseÂ I’m so proud of everything she’s done, and everything she’s become… I met her in year 9 and as soon as I saw her, I was sprung… We started dating, and we were going out for nearly […]

9/16/2012 2 comments

even this post contradicts itself

by imallivegot 8/27/2012

written by imallivegot

my life… i pushed for what i wanted. i always got close. sooo close yetÂ every time, it fell. my soul, Â for anything and everything is gone. i really just want nothing. existenceÂ as a whole i justÂ don’tÂ want. Â growing up with an abusive family. pushing away from them. finding home in a best friends family. loving it more than your own. growing and pushing yourself to get what you want. only not to get it. learning not to care so much about it. Â always with the thought of finding someone for you on the way, someone to love. of course being in many relationships. to give up […]

8/27/2012 0 comment

Relationships…

by Aperson 8/24/2012

written by Aperson

So theres this guy I’m really starting to like but idk if he likes me too.. I’ll be at my locker sometimes and he’ll come up to and start making conversation but idk if it’s cuz his friends locker is right next to mine… And my other friend we will call her “Brit” introduced me into and she knows I like him but every time me and him end up walking together and Brit comes he starts talking to her and she’s really pretty so idk if he likes her.. His a whole grader older then me to… I know I really like him to. […]

8/24/2012 0 comment

Bad Person

by SummersEnd 8/23/2012

written by SummersEnd

So I finally in past months accepted the fact I’m bad person/human being. Why am I, well many things. I have either been told these things by random people or overheard them saying it and noticed most of it myself. I am in general unlikable, most people are very insincere to me. Most people ignore me or distance themselves. Even in best times when I was trying to be upbeat and involved in making things in my life better people still seemed to since something. I was overweight till 21(260 plus pounds), lost weight(135 pounds).Â Didn’t change much, I just developed a eating disorder that […]

8/23/2012 1 comment

New here, so here is my story

by gracielou 8/17/2012

written by gracielou

So this will be a long one. I am 20 years old and a trainee hairdresser, I had Meningitis when I was 4, I live with my boyfriend and my housemates in a house share, I have depression and anxiety and I cannot cope with my emotions. I suppose things started to beÂ difficult for me when I was 8 years old, I had a pyscological issue where everytime I got in the car I needed to go to the toilet desperately, this was also at a time when my Dad hit me quite frequently. I saw a therapist about the problem and it was all […]

8/17/2012 1 comment

From the archives: Escape.

by sansesperer 8/15/2012

written by sansesperer

THIS WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN IN APRIL 2012. I was still a lurker here back then.Â I didn’t have the confidence to share this.Â Â It paints a pretty accurate picture of where I was at back then.Â I thought someone may be interested.
Â
MyÂ therapistÂ is correct.Â The two underlying threads of my life have been seeking approval, and escapism.Â When I don’t get approval, I need to escape.Â I can’t give myself approval as I feel it is not warranted, therefore my only option is to escape.Â If not getting the approval in my relationships that I feel I need, I usually escape by withdrawal.Â However, I have […]

8/15/2012 3 comments

i could change the world by ending my life.

by hopeless. 8/3/2012

written by hopeless.

Nobody in my town or my age seem to understand the idea that their actions effect other people as well. It has been a year and a half since I attempted suicide, yet nothing has gotten better. My final year in high school was complete hell. I was tormented by a group of girls who used to be my best friends. Day after day they told me how no one likes me or wants me around. They repeatedly shouted names down the hallway at me or spread rumors about me being pregnant. This summer they have peanut-buttered/egged/balognied my car twice. Then, try countless times to […]

8/3/2012 15 comments

Hurting So Bad

by ItsJustMe79 7/29/2012

written by ItsJustMe79

Hello all. I’m sitting here at my dinning room table weeping so hard. The reason is because I’ve searched intensley on an answer for the last few wks. I’ve talked to people including a therapist, some friends I kno in person, a couple from this site and even my Pastor. I’m 32 and have no relationships. I do everything alone and I can’t fucking take it anymore. I feel most have blocked me out. Let me say I was going to go thru with it last nite but the law got involved sumwat, plus I didn’t have all the supplies I needed. I’m now sitting […]

7/29/2012 6 comments

realisations

by truthbetold 7/29/2012

written by truthbetold

I never liked life for what it appears to be: a process of disilllusionnement

I was trusting and full of hope as a kid, but this was because I used to idealize life and people’s intentions

life experiences later, I’ve become rather suspicious and apathetic

I don’t think we’re here to find our purpose or happiness .. I feel like we’re here to chase after things, only to realize those things were just illusions .. the more you believed the illusion to be real, the more brutal the wake-up will be, the harder it is to swallow the pill of letting go

I was led to believe in certain […]

7/29/2012 2 comments

What pills? want neat, elegant, easy. maybe even look like an accident?

by mjinsf 7/24/2012

written by mjinsf

Iâ€™ve been divorced for five years and havenâ€™t managed to get into another relationship. I hate living alone, am now 44, will never have a family of my own, am watching my friends pair up as I go home every night to cats. All of my relationships have been with extremely selfish men and even many of my friends have been disappointing. I’m an atheist and frequently feel as though I am the only person I know with any sense of right and wrong and how we should treat one another. When my ex best friend is now happy because she cheated on her husband […]

7/24/2012 15 comments

I keep doing it

by AW92 7/13/2012

written by AW92

I can’t believe I keep letting this happen.
I have this boy I love having sexual intercourse with, he’s absolutely amazing, everything is nice and perfect size.
Anyway, he’s always treated me pretty bad, like there’s no relationship here just casual sex but still, respect is needed and this thing works two ways, okay so he was all like keen and now he’s only allowed to ask me when he’s keen I’m not allowed like seriously.
Oh and now he’s bringing more people into it. I don’t know how to say no so I go along with it. And tonight it’s just gotten out of […]

7/13/2012 16 comments

The Thing I Can’t Decide

by Aberration 7/12/2012

written by Aberration

Lately, I’ve been trying to determine if I was born broken or if my life made me this way.

I mean, I can go down the list of my life experiences and lay out a path of the things that seem to have lead up to the way I am now. But, might not a better person, with better DNA or a better soul or whatever you believe to be at the core of us, have reacted differently to the same kind of life. Maybe I’m just not meant to be well, or worthy or happy.

I can’t sleep much at all anymore. My mind just races […]

7/12/2012 11 comments

waiting to die

by Hedabuvh20 7/9/2012

written by Hedabuvh20

Just dying. I have really little, if anything to live for. I have a hard time imagining any accomplishment that would cause me to transcend the feeling of wanting to be dead that I’ve been experiencing for the past several months. I have done yoga. I have done meditation. I’ve taken all kinds of medication and talked about every aspect of my life. Tried to tie up loose ends in my relationships, but I am broken.

7/9/2012 8 comments

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

by Crazypandachick 7/1/2012

written by Crazypandachick

Warning: rant from top of my head. Might randomly skip to from topic to topic.

When I was in eight grade, I thought I knew what long lasting pain and depression were. I had grown up in a “broken” home, I was bullied, I had been cheated on and my brother nearly died from a suicide attempt. I can remember sitting next to his bed and even after I found out he was going to survive, I kept thinking things couldn’t get worse than that. Since then (3 or so years ago), I have been in a abusive relationship, cheated on again lost a friend who […]

7/1/2012 2 comments

Perfection is just an illusion

by mysmilecoversalot :) 6/24/2012

written by mysmilecoversalot :)

I have 5 sisters. My imperfections used to be guarded by my older sister, sheâ€™s 18. She rebelled against my family, did very unfortunate things, and next to her I was perfect. Then she was kicked out of the house. With her gone, all my imperfections came to light. I now sit between two perfect sisters. One is 23, the other 15. I am 17 and next to them I feel worthless. They are always better than me. They love better than me, they are more fun than me, and they have a better personality than me. At least thatâ€™s what my parents make clear. […]

6/24/2012 2 comments

Your stories..

by Empty_Soul 6/17/2012

written by Empty_Soul

I’ve been reading over a lot of the stories and tales on this website.
So many of you I can relate to. I wish I could meet up
With some of you just to hang out and I guess realize that we are all in this suffering, torment, saddness, depression. Together. I would like to know If anyone agrees. Or just your general thoughts about this site.

Empty_Soul.

6/17/2012 12 comments

At a Crossroads: Relationships

by Zeddex 6/11/2012

written by Zeddex

“My name is unimportant. I am neither male, nor female. My age has no relevance to my grief.Â Consider me a faceless representation of depression. An anonymous death seeker. A hopeless nobody.”

I’ve met someone. At this point in time I can’t decide whether it’s a blessing or a curse, a cure to my life-long battle with depression, or a catalyst. This someone is special. The way I feel when I’m with them is astonishing. I feel happy, and content with myself. I feel at ease. At peace. And when I am with them it feels like my troubles have slipped through my […]

6/11/2012 1 comment

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