I like to take things a part. Analyze. When things start to look ugly I want to look away. Disappear perhaps just for a little while. During these times I’m terrified of everything especially Drs and hospitals. So I’ve never stayed or sought out help. I have often found myself growing fond of these dark thoughts. Viciousness seems to craft itself in slow motion for my viewing and I look at it like artwork. I believe that those who crawl up from rock bottom are stronger. To jump high you must crouch low. Anger is funny, sadness beautiful.
Tag:
Rock Bottom
Hi, I’m 16 nearly 17. I was told I had depression 3 months ago and sonce then it feels like everything is getting worse. I was very happy throughout 14 years of my life, I had some problems like only connecting with my household family because of issues with my mum and rarely seeing my dad cause he works. Never thought anything bad of it until I was 15. I had a boyfriend that all went well untill after we were going out for 10 months and things went down hill but I always blamed myself for these problems. He lied to me and in […]
It’s been a long year.
Well, almost a year.
The last time I posted anything on here, I was in a semi-good place with my life and I was slowly getting stronger. The depression was lessening day by day and I was coming to realize that my life wasn’t really as bad as it could be.
I was on the road to recovery.
Since then, I feel like I’ve taken 5 steps forward and 10 steps back. That is why I am back here, to complain about the tiny little mishaps in my life, and some of the big ones. To let you- my beautiful online world of strangers […]
So when i was about 5 i lost my parents, well at the time none of my family wanted me so i went to foster care. When i was about 8 years old i was adopted by great parents, or at least i thought. Growing up it was alright i got picked on alot though because ive always had short hair my whole life ive had it. Well it wasnt until recently that i had started coming out with being a lesbian. Everyone hated me at my school. I only had one friend which was my sister Amber. Im 13 and shes 14. I became […]
You are probably sitting alone thinking why me? Why is this happening to me? What did i do to deserve this? Am i being punished? WHY ME? I am Jojo Ladd and i suffer from severe anxiety and depression. Im currently on medication which only seems to be making things worse. I try to tell myself ‘things will get better’ but they never do. But i dont give up because im here for a reason and i had a shitty childhood for a reason and i had to hit rock bottom for a reason. I may not be perfect and have problems and scars but […]
ive wanted to die for many years, but now that im coming towards my demise I cant help wonder why I keep procrastinating the inevitable. I have court on the 16th for a DUI which has already turned my unlivable life into a complete hell. It started by losing my brother to suicide 4 years ago (I was suicidal way before that, about 12 year). then IÂ managed to move on and live a somewhat decent life until I met “her”. the love of my life that I am still in love with 6 months after we split and she moved away. I never wanted kids […]
i wish i had someone i could completely open up to and talk to. not therapists or medical people, not people who “care” and tell me stuff ive already heard. ive lived a life and know that i don’t want to anymore, ive been fighting and trying for 10+ years and i always knew i wouldn’t hit 25. my 25th birthday is in December and im already at my lifes rock bottom and have been here for months. I dug a whole so id have to kill myself. ive been climbing up and down this whole but everytime i go up i just want to […]
Dear Reader,
My Grandpa committed suicide when he was 75 years old. He took his life in 2005, and my Dad found him. My Father. found. him! I, a 15 year old, watched as my Dad crumbled into a million pieces, literally broke down. A 6’3″ italian goomba fell to his knees in pain over the loss of his own father. My grandma was frozen in shock, numb to the fact her husband (going on 50 years) was no longer coming home after work, or bringing her white daisy’s on Sundays, or laughing to get her to smile. He was gone. Forever.
My grandpa had three beautiful […]
i am feeling so much better than i have the past months , so i have decided to take a break form this website it has helped me a lot and because i feel so much better i dont want to be cought up in my old problems , so i will be only on this website when i hit rock bottom again , i hope u all understand , i just didnt want people to thing if i wasnt on for a few weeks i hadnt done something dtupid , so byr for now 🙂 , i wi sh everyone of you good luck […]
I finally started talking to my counselor because I need help. Biggest mistake ever. She told me if I was going to commit suicide she had to tell my parents. She lied. I told her I think about it a lot. Now I sleep on my parents floor like a dog. Everyone talks to me like I’m about to die. I really messed up. I don’t think anyone would ever understand how much I care for my family. They are all I have even if that’s not much they made mistakes but I don’t like to stress them out or make them cry. I wish […]
We all go through pain. Whatever the cause, pain is pain. No one likes to be in pain when it comes to emotions. We all have stories, I want to share mine. I am 23, college grad recently, I’m good looking and I go to the gym.. I use too. I stopped going. I stopped doing lots of things that I use to love doing. I’ve been depressed for 3 months, 2 months before I was suffering from anxiety. I’ve never felt like a winner before in my life. Anything that I do always blows up in may face till this day no matter how […]
im 39 from england and ive hit rock bottom feel as if i cant go on any more, i spend my days n nights crying all over a girl i met 15 months ago on a chat room, the only way i can see to end this is suicide, any one offer advice then ill tell you full story
You know what you always hear people saying that they want to kill them self for many reasons and i never thought that i would be one of those people. I AM NOW !!!!.
I have very bad health ( my backs  falling apart) i am in so much pain all the time and i am fighting it 24/7 . I am 32 and i  had so much to live for.
Its all been taken away from me and i have hit rock bottom. I cry every day, i have dark thoughts all the time that i could just take all my med that i am on a […]
The majority of the posts that I have read are from people in High School. I get it high school is rough. Other students are mean. And you feel Your teachers, parents and family don’t understand you. I was there too at one point in my life. I am hoping that by sharing my story I can give others hope for a better out-look on life. Now before I continue with my story I need to say that I have thought about killing myself, I thought about pain less ways and painful ways. I also thought of ways to make it seem like an accident. But […]
It struck my recently. This rock-bottom self confidence, self hate, doubt, etc. It is fear. Fear of what you ask? That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I’ve never been this serious about something in a long time. I’ve been doing researches, reading and a lot of thinking. The whole Carl Jung theories were eaten whole one night. His theories on our “Shadow” is what stroke me the most.
Anyways, it seems I am deeply afraid of something. I just can’t find what. I wish I could say it’s a relief to have pinpointed something, but it’s not. Each time I start something, it just end midway. Fear of failure? Thinking […]
It’s hard to admit there is something wrong. It’s hard trying to put all my emotions into words. It’s frustrating that I don’t truly understand what’s wrong with me, therefore it is difficult for others to understand. I lost the respect for my mother when I was in seventh grade. Freshman year my father hit me and choked me and my mother just watched. I stopped talking to my family completely because I knew they didn’t wanna hear what I wanted to say. I am a junior in high school now and I had to switch schools this past year. Have you ever felt surrounded […]
Why do I keep fucking shit up? Why am I so stupid? I just… Feel like I am no good to anyone. I feel like all I do is screw shit up. I have nowhere to go, no friends that I can rant to freely without them getting annoyed and I’m left to this site. I have hit rock-bottom, and my last resort was this website.
Tell me, how pathetic does that sound? A site called The Suicide Project is where I go to when I need to vent. Yeah, most may call me lucky: I’ve been accepted into an amazing cosmetology school, I’m a model, […]
I am a 32 year old woman who still lives at home with her parents, been made bankrupt and had had two relationships (both under a year).
Up until 3 years ago I had my clinical depression under control, but then it all went to shit! Something happened at work and I hit lower than rock bottom.
I went from thinking I had lots of friends, good at my job, happy and in control, go being locked in a secure mental ward, leaving my job, losing all my friends and was left with no one or nothing!
People think committing suicide is so easy and its […]
I’ve been going through the motions for years now. I’ve put on a brave face, told myself if I try hard enough that life would be great, I’ve done it all. I tried drinking my problems away but my presistent optimism kept my from becoming a real alcoholic. Just recently my best friend and one of the few men I’ve ever loved got married. Out of the blue kind of married. Just a few days before all of it we were sleeping together. To top it off he got married 3 days after my birthday, lol he’s an ass but I do still love him. […]
There isn’t any place as welcoming and unforgiving as it. Actually, that’s wrong. Hitting rock bottom means everything you have done may not be tolerable, but maybe it might be forgivable in the next life. And so here we sit. Alone. Cold. Empty. Loving and hating every second of it. Loving, because the hatred gives you power. Something to feel. I’d rather feel bitter than this damned sadness all the time. Ignorant to other emotions. Numb. The soft buzzing in your ears allows you to focus on your own problems. That’s all everyone is doing, anyways. Dealing with their own problems. What’s it to you […]
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