Everyone at my home attacked me today.
Why? well lets just start with my mother.
So lately she’s been really mean to me for no reason. You’re probably thinking that it must of been for something, but no no reason at all. She says things to me like “i wish i never had you”, “you are pathetic and worthless”, “you’re a female dog” etc…
And what i do is walk away or ignore her.
Ok lets move on to my father. if i try to emotionally connect with anyone is my dad but he always pushes me away. example, “i don’t want to hear it”, […]
My mum found out about my relapse today, and has been demanding since this afternoon for me to tell her why I did it. No matter how many times I told her talking about it with her makes me uncomfortable and I literally can’t tell her, she’s still insistent I do.
So I’ve wrote it out in bullet points for her in the morning – and just for the heck of it I referred to myself in third person. It’s not really helpful, but it’s all she’s getting. I had to come home early from college today. I told my mum I probably would because I […]
So yesterday my husband told me that his mother is gonna pay for a vacation…greaaaaaat*sarcasm* something eles my mother inlaw will throw in my face. Do I care no I dont I’ll get vk,you’ll think you will have something to hold over me . when the young couple who lives with us said ….I wanna gi when dose her life began .
My mother in law has there nerve to say” let me set your’s facts straight ,your life starts when you have your own house your own income and children. ”
And she not paying for thr trip wich is a lie to make me feel […]
Today was absolutely horrible . I’m in the verge of tears . I can’t wait to get home and cry in my bed.
It just started with waking up. Monday’s are hard to wake up to . I hate leaving bed .
Then class . My dental assisting teacher fucking pisses me off . She expects me to know everything and anything . I was taking X-rays on a mannequin (it’s so hard) and I was trying to make sure they were perfect so I could show her . She came in after 15 minutes and asked me how long am I gonna take ?! She […]
I honestly don’t know. I feel like I’m losing my friends all over. I try to help a few friends struggling with school and stuff but I still feel worthless. It’s worse when they make fun of me for trying to help. “This isn’t you” blah blah
I even told them it’s because you don’t really know me and they just give me this look like I’m crazy. I absolutely hate it when they compare me to someone bad. My mom isn’t the greatest mom and she’s never home. The other day a so called friend said I’ll end up just like her […]
So…hey there. My name is Jayden…I’ve been on here a couple times, gotten help from some amazing people. Then I thought my depression and anxiety were gone so I selfishly felt I didn’t need to come on this site anymore. I’m sorry. That was selfish and rude and despicable in my opinion. But before I go on a 5 page rant on how much I hate myself, let me catch anyone who listened when I was originally here up to speed.
The girl who made my depression seem nonexistent dumped me.
I have effectively pushed all but 3 of my friends away
The last friend who helps me […]
Hello everyone…I haven’t posted on here for a while. I sincerely apologize for my lack of absence…I said I would try to help people but I just left. I thought I was better…but I’m not sure anymore. I’ve been always feeling like I’m never good enough. I’m not good enough for school, I’m not good enough for my family, I’m not good enough for the ex girlfriend I still love, I’m not good enough to for anything. I don’t know what to do. It’s handicapping me from doing anything I want to because I’m positive I’ll screw something up as usual. I keep trying to […]
I never thought it would be like this. I never thought I’d want to end my life. When I first thought about it, it scared me but now I’m embracing it. I’m rude, selfish, annoying,stupid, everything you can think of. Im mad though, at my self mostly. Why couldnt I be happy? Why am I such a *****? Why? Why do I always mess everything up? My parents hate me, im failing two classes already, i dont have any close friends. But most of all, I’m tired. Im tired of being alone, Im tired of hating my self so much and most of all, Im […]
My life sucks… My mother died last year before christmas and now nothing is the same. I thought that my life was already horrible, but after her death it was fucking hell. My father acts and treats me as if im the one to blame and im less of a daughter somehow even though I was the only one to take care of her when she was still alive, he constantly makes fun of
my weight and compares me to my little sister, my older bros and sis dont give my little sis and I some damn time to talk and
they treat us like […]
It’s been 3 minutes since I walked through the front door and I’m in tears.
i knew I should’ve stayed outside, it took me a while to convince myself to come inside anyways.
First minute:
I walked through the door and the second I do my dad tell me to hurry up and put my backpack down and go see him.
second minute:
i went to go see my dad and he said he has stuff for me to do, I told him he has to hurry because i have a lot of homework tonight and he automatically got mad at me and started yelling at me saying I’m selfish […]
It never fails to amaze me how incredibly rude and dismissive some doctors and nurses are. Why if someone is struggling with depression would you seek help from someone that talks down to you and treats you like crap? I wonder how many people have killed themselves after going to the wrong doctor or because a nurse acted like a hateful judgemental asshole…
I really hate the word reality. I hate when my mom storms in to my room
and tells me that lying in bed and taking naps all the time isn’t reality. She tells me I have to get up and sometimes I feel like I can’t. I don’t want to and it would be heaven if I could stay in my bedroom forever. It’s my safe place and I feel like no one can hurt me here. Today my mom came in to my room and she told me I had to start […]
This site is the only place where i can express deep sadness. I’ve never really let others know how depressed i am.
I’ve withdrawn myself from my good friends.
My work friends see me as this happy, funny person most of the times. They also know I’m a hater too.
The people i dislike think I’m mean and rude.
With so many of you out there feeling sad, how do the people in your life see you?
I’m struggle to let the real me be free and not be this person who I am now that is consumed with anger and resentment, negativity, and ignorance. I’m trying hard to be a better person, I want to be kind to others and be nicer to my parents, but it’s hard when people around me treat me poorly and when my parents don’t respect me and put me down. How am I suppose to be the person I want to be when I’m surrounded by negativity, judgements, and downers? I feel like taking my antidepressants again, even though they make me feel like […]
Im horrible Im a fucking *****,When im in public I act like a wretched *****,I make faces and im rude and have somehow some way (probably through using crystal meth) mastered the art of “igorning” people without even saying a word Please forgive Im horrible and I have problems I have fucking problems
I hate my life
Im fucked up,Im wrong
world im sorry im fucking horrible dude
My mom is really rude to me. She is constantly telling me I’m the worst daughter ever and that she cries everyday because I was born to her. Apparently I’m not as smart as everyone else and stuff like that. Sometimes she hits me.
I’ve been dealing with suicidal tendencies since I was in high school. TEN YEARS AGO
Obviously it hasn’t been continuous over those years. There have been days where keeping it a secret is easy and my “happy face” feels normal.
But these thoughts have been VERY strong over the past month of so.
I HATE my job. The people I serve (I work in food service) are RUDE. I’ve been laughed at, sworn at, and just generally treated badly. I serve the same people every day so I’m constantly dealing with it.
I am so unhappy in my apartment. I rent a room and have no say in who […]
Mother’s day. I don’t know……
I just gotta say you shouldn’t just appreciate your mom on mother’s day, you should appreciate her every single day. One day when she’s long gone you won’t be able to to tell her how much she means to you or how much you love her. One day she will be gone and you won’t get another.
I gotta admit, I wasn’t the best daughter. I always had some type of anger problems with her. Like sometimes, I have to say, and it hurts to say it, I would hit her. I would get mad and I would be rude. I wouldn’t […]
its a descent into madness, the told me so
oh will you please not go
the journey down was a quick little trip
you fall when you slip
i tried to get out but i was held down
we told you to stick around
the padded cell was almost complete
there words were laced with deceit
we only want to help you they cooed
did they know that lying was rude?
i felt so violated when the smiled
there teeth were all filed
this will be quick the assured me
it would be better if they just killed me
that’s not the right attitude to have
oh darling, according to you i’m mad
With my besties. So proud of my friend who’s graduating from college.
But I feel like I don’t belong here. like I shouldn’t be here. Like I’m not really a bestie, like I’m just here because of some nuanced sense of whats right or honor.
My friends said that I was not polite, mostly related to lude jokes and statements about moms being sexual beings. I guess I relate to my mom differently. I wish she would go out and have a life and love and fuck for god’s sake. She’s not dead. She’s a human. I don’t want to treat her as if she is this […]
Newer Posts