So I moved back home today. And I’m laying here, crying, because I really don’t want to be here. All I do is hide here. I don’t talk here and I can’t be myself here. And tonight, I went to my old high schools band holiday party and the one person I can talk to was suppose to be there. And I was suppose to see them and they were suppose to tell me it is going to be ok. But he’s not in the state. And no one told me. And I’ve been looking forward to seeing him all week. And I can’t do […]
Tag:
talk
I complain about my job all the time and I’m sorry. But today I came across some new things.
Today, I had access to Z’s computer. I looked through her IM’s between her and T and they’re all complaining about me or making fun of me.
So um, I guess I am kinda new here, ok? But eh… I kinda need someone to share this with. It’s been eating me for so long now.
So uhhh first, a bit of background: I am an “artist”. Which means I am a talentless amateur who can’t even draw a stick figure right! But whatever.
Have you heard of that site “deviantart”? It is frankly terrible. I frequent it.
So 2 years ago or so, there was this… it was kinda like an RP group. I was bored so ehh let’s join it. But applications were closed and you had to wait and they had a chatroom […]
Why?
Why the fuck is it so hard for me to tell them I’m suffering?
One moment Im crying alone in my room, then the next, I’m smiling like my usual fake self when someone comes in. I have become so good at faking that I can’t show what I really feel. I want to take off this mask. It’s really heavy now, but it’s stuck. It won’t come off.
Why can’t I take it off?
Please… I’m suffering…
I know they are not mind readers. I need to speak up. But how can one talk to a person about what is going on when […]
I’m 28 years old now but I’m still that timid and shy little kid I was since I can remember and I fucking hate it.
I’ve tried cognitive therapy, SSRIs and even self-improvement clubs and courses like Toastmasters, but to no avail. I just seize up and go blank when I’m supposed to talk to people, and don’t even get me started on trying to talk to women. I’m such a fucking loser.
It probably goes back to my strict upbringing where anxiety and fear were some of my earliest feelings. I’m just broken. When anyone engages me I shut down, shut off. This must […]
Seriously the days are getting so hard :(. I don’t want to do this anymore. I am so sick of pretending to be happy and doing what I am supposed to. I know my life isn’t going to change. Tonight it took almost everything I had to not just run away and hide and start over alone. Seriously I have like no friends. No one to talk to and I am so sick of being alone and having no one when I need them. The only voices I hear are on tv. :(. I don’t know how long I can live in this sucluded life.
I’m breaking. I’ve reached breaking point.
If I don’t talk to anyone about this, I will lose this battle. But I’m scared. I’m so scared to talk to anyone in my family. As much as they understand what I’m going through since they are going through the same thing, I doubt they do. (Not sure if that makes sense.) They will just tell me to tough it out like they always do.
Well… I’m so tired of being tough. I’m tired of having to pretend I am strong. I am so weak right now, I can hardly put up a fake smile. I can barely get […]
Im sure that we can all get related to this song.
PS: hope that i will find some fans around, if you are one of them, than talk to me :))
First of all I’m sorry I talked quietly. And it’s hard to hear. I had my heater on and it distorted the video which didn’t help. I’ll make it more clear to hear me with my next video.
I’m going to start video logs once a day at the most. Just want to let you know they’ll improve over time. I’m sorry my videos are not that great and I find myself all over the place when I speak. I struggle with a stutter and I don’t speak clearly. I have a speach impediment as well. I’m a very quiet person also. […]
Halloween sucked. Considering none of my friends wanted to hang out with me and I was left at home with no one to talk to. Now this Christmas I will be suffering under the same situation but with more sleepless nights and unforgiving depression than ever before. My family is going to Disney, the most happiest place on earth or so when it’s with those you love and care about you (my definition of it). Another vacation ruined by our “family friends” and my family’s lack of consideration for how I feel. Another anxiety driven plane ride after the other. “You’ll understand it when we […]
I have been depressed for a long time and still never believed I was lonely, I have family and family etc.
Just this week it all came clear to me. Nobody understands me, nobody know who I really am, they don’t care about anything I like or are interested in, so I have nobody close to talk to.
Now it only feels like I have no friends, and my family are another world away from me. I don’t talk to them, and I have nothing to say to them, if I started talking about a passion or something I’m interested in, they would be hearing my voice, […]
I haven’t been here in almost a year. I had lost my family and just could not cope. I got lucky and saved my marriage, kept my family together. I was instantly ok again. Well, it didnt last. I guess I have issues. I fucked it up again. This time there’s no fixing it. Now I see why suicides peak around the holidays. The thought of missing my family at all, let alone for Xmas, is terrible. Ive pretty much made up my mind. I dont even care about the method anymore. Im just worried about what happens to the dog, who gets what stuff, […]
How do you tell your friends you are suicidal? And more important, should I tell them?
I don’t like to talk and I have difficulty to explain myself. Therefore I was thinking of send them a video about depression. But the video doesn’t talk about suicidal thoughts so I don’t know how to introduce the subject. Any advice?
Hello everyone! I hope your Sunday I’d going well. I just wanted to say that if your day isn’t going great, then talk to someone. It doesn’t even have to be about what’s getting you down, just talk to someone who makes you happy. I find that there are certain people who just cheer me up just by being them. If you know of a person like that, I encourage you to talk to them. And if for any reason you don’t have a person like that, talk to me! My email is in my bio description thingamadoohickey. I’ll talk to you (:
I know this […]
I just about cried a few minutes ago while playing video games, because I realized that I am too socially awkward to be able to talk to people, that I’ve never met and never will meet, through game chat and I can barely work up the courage to post or comment on this site. An anonymous site. What is wrong with me?
so i thought my roommate would be gone the whole weekend but she came back today. and she was on speakerphone with her mom in the other room. and i heard them talking about the rent so i started listening. and then they were talking about the dishes of my mine that she stuck in a garbage bag in front of my door.and her mom was telling her to be nice and to do them for me but my roommate kept telling her she was just going to throw them in the dumpster.then she was telling her mom how shed be really happy if she […]
Hey guys, I haven’t been on here in a little bit and I think it would be best for me if I leave.. I feel this place is a good release but the surrounding negativity doesn’t help me. My mom is getting really on my case because I’ve been cutting again and other problems in life are arising and I think I should try to do better. I wish all of you luck, truly, and if you ever want to talk just ask for my email on this post, ill try to check it for awhile. Do better in this life than I have.
I’m 15 and I have zero friends and just want some one to talk to. I’ve never really had any friends/girlfriend. I fell like just killing myself idk what to do anymore.
I’ve recently found the courage to talk to someone about me. But now I’ve lost contact with him. He made me feel better. Now I feel like crap all over again.
It’s hard to find someone who understands and doesn’t judge. I guess that’s why I’ve joined SP. I need someone who understands.
My mother just tried to force me to come out. And now I feel like shit.
I was talking to her about the possibility of me running the LGBTQ+ society at my college next year and she jumped down my throat, saying that I thought she was a terrible person, and that’s why I wouldn’t tell her. She says that I’m breaking the bond between us by keeping this from her and I’m deeply upsetting her by not talking about it.
You know what the most important part in all of that was?
HER
She didn’t care about what it was doing to me, being […]