I thought about suicide again today. The pill bottle was in my reach. All I had to do was grab it and walk to my room, but I didn’t. While I was walking by all I could think was “Life is worth living. You have to live.” Now I know I should have done it. The pain I feel everyday is like a whole getting bigger and bigger. It feels like someone is scraping the inside of my chest out. I just get so angry and I try to calm down. There is this method my Mom told me about. She always said “Count to […]
Tag:
think
No need for ending. There is none. Think wide. Don’t think. And suffer. Concentrate on tiny things, and then on big things, and then again, again, again, (don’t read this…pointless writing sorry)
I am so mad at myself that I feel this way! Why should I suffer when most people have it so much worse. I have a family that loves me, a boyfriend that is awesome, and friends that have my back. It’s just that lately my grades have dropped and I worry that I’m not fitting in. I cut like crazy, and I spend most of my time looking at percabeth fanfictions. I think that I might be going insane! My brothers are so much older than me, and they are amazing at everything. I think that it might be too late for me to […]
So at work yesterday just before I left for my other job, my mom tries to reach me after not speaking for over a year since her mom (my grandmother) passed away. Ultimately she said she had been afraid to tell me sooner, was sorry for her mistakes, and doesn’t believe anymore that I stole anything. Her husband (not my dad btw) passed away suddenly last fall and her last dog has been sick for a year and will be put down today. I feel bad for her and she feels bad for what I’ve been through too. I also braved it and asked the […]
I’m starting to feel depressed again. I’m worried because this time I have nothing to feel depressed about. Besides my physical pain… Which I’m perpetuating with self abuse. I took the day off work today. I feel broken. My body is starting to die. My addictions have sucked the life from me. I have given myself entirely over to satisfying the insatiable. I would gladly die today, preferably by the hand of another. I don’t think it matters what The addiction is…Addictions destroy lives. I hate being an addict. I can’t stop, not until I am literally unable to move. Then I just collapse. I […]
They say it’s okay.
That it’s gonna get better.
They don’t understand.
They think it’s a phase.
That we’re just overreacting.
They think we’re okay.
They see the fucking signs,
They just don’t care.
They don’t hear the voices.
They don’t feel the pain.
They don’t know.
And we won’t tell.
Fuck N Die (I wanna) Fuck N Die (We gonna ) Fuck N Die (I’m a Goner)Fuck N Die (I dont wanna live no longer) imma bout to bust inside never before have I felt so alive I can see my life flashing right before my eyes as I slide my hand ever so gently across your thighs you got me feeling all warm and fluffy inside it got you hot,wet and moisturized and for a second you even got me forgetting that I’m wanting to die but I’m sure it will all come back in due time ,until then it’s game time the balls […]
so i just got cyberbullied by my friend he posted something on facebook and it was humiliating for me and the fact that he was my friend i didn’t do anything bad towards him and there’s other guy who helped him hes also a friend i did a lot for him now i dunno wht to do i am a good guy i never thought ill of anyone why did this happened to me i am crying for 2 days something i think i should die i am too innocent for this cruel world
Been down all day today and can’t really put my finger on why. Nothing special happened today, just really down all day. Should be in a good mood since I’m gonna see my son for his birthday tomorrow. When I feel this way, I always want to feel better NOW! I don’t want to wait and hope tomorrow’s better. I think of all the things that helped in the past like booze, drugs, cutting, but none of those things seem to help much anymore. They just get me in trouble, like I don’t need anymore DUI’s – the next one will be a felony. Fuck, […]
I wish there was a pill that killed me. I just want a way out. But I’m too weak to do it myself. I always think “what about my dog?” Or “how will anyone find me if I kill myself at home?” Those are things I shouldn’t be worried about. Am I truly ready to off myself?
Man i hate life, but if the shoe fits, wear it.
i hate myself for being born on this evil planet.
if i could kill and get away with it ill make these fuckin Christians pay in blood because they know inside they fuckin did it.
I bathe in pain because my life is in a fucking mess.
Don’t say you understand because you dont know how i stress.
i think about suicide all the time because i wanna die so bad and it dont matter that im fuckin pressed.
Take a moment to think about what i see.
All i see are ghosts of […]
I’m so unhappy. I feel there must be something wrong with me in that I don’t have any friends or relationships, I have no one to talk to and I’m desperately in love with a person who does not give a shit about me. I feel worthless and guilty all the time and it’s devouring me. I can’t accomplish anything without being moderately intoxicated. I hate myself and feel like I don’t deserve to be alive. I try to change my thinking and I can’t seem to stop it, but I want to feel better so badly. I just want to feel okay with myself but […]
I don’t want to get into who I am or why I’m doing what I’m doing. I am going to kill myself tonight. I have checked into a hotel room and it is on the 11th floor. I’m looking down and it is high, I’m sure high enough to kill myself, but I have no faith in my mortality so I don’t know if jumping from this height would be enough. I am however going to land on my back, with my head tilting down so the brain stem is completly shattered. I also have been trying to get a gun for the last couple […]
I’m already dead inside.
I screwed my life beyond repair, and all of it for no valid reasons. All because of anxiety that got me and the depression that came after. I gave up my life and I cannot take it back. I cannot live in the “what’s left of my life” while facing everyday the “how bright my life would have been if I didn’t screwed it all up”. It’s just too painful and it drains my motivation away. I don’t like myself anymore and I think it doesn’t worth to live like this.
I didn’t commit suicide yet because I am afraid of the consequences […]
63 and still the thoughts come back. Defective. Quit trying to fight it. I look back and see things I’ve done that I didn’t do right. Spent 6 yrs feeling like I could believe the “you are OK; you are a great mom/wife/friend” Only to come back full circle to this. Fucked up person. No one can I share this with because they either try to tell me I’m wrong or I risk having them really see what a loser I am.
Is it inevitable and why do some fail and never think of ending it? I want to run somewhere because I need to think; […]
I don’t know why I’m here. I don’t know what do I need to do. Am I sent here to be a laughing stock? Am I sent here just so people will pity me? I do not fucking want pity. I do not fucking care if they laugh at me or if you laugh at me for being so fucking pathetic. I am a disabled person, yeah so don’t fucking complain if your life is messed up, because mine is more complicated. You complain about those bullies? Then tell them to fuck off, stand up for yourself. You complain about money and shit? Don’t fucking […]
Well it appears this is the only place I have to talk about this. I have no one that understands what its like. I cant tell anyone from the proffesional field because they will just lock me up till I tell them Im all better. Has happened before. I cant take it anymore. Ive lost everything I possessed and everyone i loved. The one person left in my life that I truly truly love doesnt know it and never will. No matter anyway. i was content with having her as my friend but now she is not even that. I dont even register on radar […]
Who else is with me here? I don’t just get depressed, I’m always depressed. My mind can’t think about anything else unless I am unconcious (sleeping). Nonstop pain every second of my life for years now. Every single memory I’ve ever had is gone now, I don’t remember even the biggest days of my life. It’s incredible I am still alive, when my brain doesn’t even function no longer. I just want to stop being tortued alive and be in a unconcious state forever..
ok so im an atheist myself but i find it hard to understand why most atheists find it necessary to bash religious people is it that hard to except the fact that other people have just as much of a right to believe what they want as you do if you think about it in the long run we all have the same problem after death religious people will not if know they were wrong and atheists will not know if we were right and on the same note religious people will know if they were right and atheists will know if we were wrong […]
What are your guys’ thoughts on all the teenagers and young kids on here? I’m one of those. I’m sixteen. But I want to know your guys’ thoughts. Do you think they’re stupid or overreacting or something?