Life… a thing I undestood abt it is… its though… not only mine but everyones… b ut the thing is that.. I cnt handel it… I m m weak.. I cnt face it anymore…I show evryone hw strong I m .. but I m a coward… I cnt evn handel a small heart break. .. I m worthless…. lowest of the form… I shuld die.. but I m evn scared to die.. I m so pathetic… sory to waste you time… just wanted atlest one person to knw this.. dont knw why.. just wanted…
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to die
I diagnosed myself to be a schizoid, but due to self-diagnosis, people may laugh it off, but I know myself very well.
I have no desire to live, or to die. I see no real meaning to continue living. Everyone has to die, isn’t it? It also seems to be the quicker way to get rid of the boredom I have had all my life. Though my circumstances are just as bad as any other suicidal person, I have no real emotional attachment to anything in life. I live alone in Japan, though I was not raised here, hence I don’t even speak japanese.
There is no […]
I’m a deep thinker, as well as an overactive thinker, so almost every second of everyday there are numerous thoughts, worries, and questions running throughout my brain. Here’s one for anyone who wants to answer. What do you think you would be like and your life would be like if you didn’t know you were going to die? You had no awareness about what death is, or that it even happened. For me it would be pretty terrifying, mainly because I see death as my escape, something I will always be able to look forward to and count on because it is inevitable and is […]
So I’m 26 years of age and I still live with my mom and my idiot brother. But that’s not the only reason why I want to die. My older brother is always a person who manipulates people so that he gets what he wants. He pretends to be nice to people only to get information about them and their personal gripes so he can use it against them. And if that doesn’t work he always instills fear to make people do what he wants. He used to treat me like that but when I grew up and took enough of his abuse, both physical […]
Sorry for double posting. I want to have a heart attack. Im such a fucking failure. I’m so fucking alone and meaningless. I have no escape from this shit i want to die. I’m considering whether or not i can try attempt again. Unfortunately I won’t have any good attempts. Im thinking about slicing my thighs to ribbons just to express this pain.
But I feel like I keep finding myself drinking more and more as time passes. And that’d be fine if there wasn’t this ever increasing desire to just keep drinking. I mean I had a few drinks about a week ago and as the week’s gone on I feel like all this jerking me around my life does has me just aching for it. Something’s gotta give here… either the bullshit life throws at me, or perhaps I’m subliminally asking for it or something, I don’t know, or my will to not become like the rest of my family members is going to break. And […]
So to anyone on here that kind of knows me, no I’m still not dead :(, and yes I was supposed to be. Everything imploded and I was all set to get on outta here.
Then things looked up for a brief moment. Hope is dangerous. I was ready to die, why didn’t I just do it?? Now I’m scared again. Because I thought maybe I could stick around for a bit, but that’s turning out not to be true.
I’m right back where I was, only now I’m afraid.
Who’s more selfish? Those who want to die or those who want us to live?
Hello. Lately I’ve been feeling less like a piece of shit than usual. However, I’m positive that I’ll have a freak out sooner or later. Since I’ve been on SP for a week I might as well talk about the first and only time I’ve ever attempted suicide. And by that I mean a half-baked attempt that would have just landed me in the hospital with a stomach ache or not even that. So this was a few years ago and my depression was the worse it had ever been. My parents had just got done yelling at me for a $20 dollar fee I […]
God I was hoping I wouldn’t have to get this out, but it occupies my thoughts every single day so I have to do something about it. I suffer from social anxiety, which helps me on making friends (ha sarcasm) but I really want to meet new people, and I try SO hard.When I do try to strike up a conversation people just look at me weird and laugh! I’m even nice to people but they treat me like I’m garbage, or a mat to walk all over on.Why even try! I have a few friends, but they don’t know me. They don’t know what […]
sorry to post again put I’m too unstable I was fine the part of that wanted to left . But he went vacation because it’s back and I am not OK . The only thing I want to do is miraculously drop dead or cut myself honestly . I don’t know why I want to do that, but I have so much heaviness in my chest right now .that maybe if I cut it might let some of this black greasy feeling out. It feels like I’m in Mourning like someone die that’s how sad and hopeless I feel. I don’t know what to […]
I didn’t realise how broken my 5 year old nephew is he sat on the middle of the road wanting to be ran over because he said he felt so alone I ran across the road we both nearly got run over by a van we both cried and I realised if he was to kill himself I would follow straight after. I don’t want to die anymore and leave him in this world to suffer alone he told me I’m the only person he had last night he had a nightmare that me and him were the only ones alive and everyone else were […]
What are your experiences in how depression has effected your friendships and relationships? With past girlfriends it’s always been an issue between us, and I just lost a friend because any good qualities I had were “overwritten” by depression. I’m looking for advice. I’m tired of being so alone. I just don’t think I can change the fact that I want to die.
Fuck this existance, i want to die! What kind of twisted pervertion makes this right not mine? Murderer, self assassination, killers go to HELL, if thats what youd like, or continue this existance of hated life. Fuck these choices, i have no choice, eternal damnation eclipses my life, no matter internal struggle, impulse, strife. I just want to die
That’s it. I’m a mess and I pray for this to be over soon. I’m in hell.
How many times have I heard that a suicidal person is selfish if he/she kills him/her self? That makes me so angry, because I know the pain, the years of unending pain, that leads one to attempt suicide. When I hear things like “you’ve hurt so many people who care about you,” I want to scream “what about a pain that drives me to want to die.” Doesn’t that mean anything!
Does anyone else on this site relate? I’d like to read your input.
This game called life is not a game I want to beat. 1,2,3 lives you’re out. The only enemie is yourself. The hate I have the struggle i feel. Death is the best option. Fuck the future, fuck the present. Fuck tomorrow I want to die tonight. Always feel like nothing and no one. No love no respect. I am who I am but why? I’ve heard it all my days are up.
1,2,3 it’s game over…
I just want permanent sleep. I hate being in this existence its such an overwhelming walk of meaninglessness. I do try i do go forward i do quit i even try to get back up at times. Im just at my wits end. It feels like death is the only option. I dont comprehend existence. Im tired of only existing in such incredible loneliness. I want to die. Life never happens for the ugly and meaninglessness. Just more depair and reminders of failure. No comments. I dont want another rah rah go be better comment no matter how well it means to be.
Just had a nice sweaty workout and I feel nothing but dead inside. I just had to come home and cry right after working out. I like working out, it feels like I have blood running through my veins during that, but afterward there are no endorphins. Nothing makes me feel good. I still want to die, if not more. Fuck.
I try I try I try
I want to die
I ask myself
Why Why
The tears I cry remind me I don’t want to die
I live