What’s the point
We are going to die
So why does it matter
Does anything actually matter
I should end it quicker
I make no difference to anyone
There’s nothing left to be happy about anymore
I am going to die anyway
Tag:
to die
I finally realized that I’m depressed; and death enters my mind like a lost cat tiptoeing in my mind, giving a small purr. I’ve never been good at life. It feels like a job. Even when I was young, I wished for death. It’s strange hoping to die when you’re 10 years old.
I read Anne Sexton’s poetry all of the time, like they’re my words:
“Even then I have nothing against life. I know well the grass blades you mention, the furniture you have placed under the sun. But suicides have a special language. Like carpenters they want to know which tools. They never ask why […]
It’s about that time again – you know, when depression rears its ugly head and you start researching extensively on the internet for exit strategies… Drunk on a saturday and feeling like I can’t escape. Of course I feel awful about leaving my family but really this cannot go on… The suffering and inability to function within society – like a puzzle piece that can’t fit in. I am so fucking tired of being gay which is essentially a death sentence or at least a life long curse of loneliness and harassment.
Normally I try to write better, wax some sort of whining poetic about romanticized […]
I can’t wait to get in to the mountains. As much as I hate being alone and having no one, when I am in the mountains I am at peace. Just mother nature and I. When I go it is not a camping trip. I wouldn’t consider it a survival trip either but in a way it is a survival trip. I don’t take a tent or sleeping bag. I don’t take a gun. I take something to start a fire, a knife and a little fishing line. The rest I use mother nature to provide. I build a shelter, eat bugs and berries and […]
Why dose life suck so much I swear I’m ready to die just need the courage to call it a day it feels like iv lived a whole life time at 26 my mind feels so old I guess like an old person just counting down the days to die iv had enough I’m tired of fighting im physically mentally and emotionally drained The life has literally been sucked out of me I’m just a walking shel just going though the day hoping a tragic accident will happen to me it’s a shame the pills ain’t how they used to be
my whole life feels like i’m living a lie. i wish i could run away from it all. most nights i cry myself to sleep, sometimes i want to die, but i’m always so damn depressed. school is hopeless. nobody cares anymore. i need to get away. get away to a place that i can finally belong. why does everything seem to make it worse? people pretend they care but i know they don’t give a shit. i’m sorry if i sound like a whiny ***** but i need an outlet for my pain…….
Since 2003 when I was 16 years old I’ve been wanting to die. I prayed for death to bring me peace almost every day since 2003.
I wanted…… no, I BEGGED for death to come to me, but death has been avoiding my call all these years. The reason why I want to die is because my health, both physical and psychological are fu*ked up beyond repair, and on top of it all I never had a single friend nor a girlfriend in my entire 28 years of existing.
Now comes the unfair part, and this really pissed me off when I found out about it.
There […]
My name is Costy. And I am shit. Do you know what shit is? It is Costy. Costy just dosen’t understand life.It is a miracle? or just an accident? Whatever it is , it dosen’t have any application in our daily lives…I guess that the major cause for my downfall was nihilism, even if I would have everything in the world..we are going to die anyway. What is there for us? Nothing or maybe “something”. I don’t want to get old..
I have so many fucking toughts in my head. Why do I exist? I just want peace.
what the fuck my mind must be really mess up shit I’m already suicidal then last night I dreamed of me dying or getting killed it was so real can’t remember but I know it was to do with my heart tho and I was on the floor ? Heart attack I ain’t looking to live that’s long shit I no we all die but when you start dreaming and living it u start to ask your self is this my destiny to die early ??
yet i still didn’t want to get out of bed. I’m pretty impressed i managed to one step at a time. taking of my clothes from yesterday one article at a time. convinced myself to throw on some nice smelling spray deodorant and put on fresh clothes. I shoulda stayed in bed though.
Today I feel worthless. like a waste. I resigned form my job because I got another job offer at another place. I feel kinda awful, like I’m abandoning them. Like this new job won’t work out. Like I’ll be a failure and lose everything. I know this is what life is like but […]
Don’t you ever feel numb all over, for no apparent reason? Welcome to the feeling of depression..
I honestly don’t know what to start with, so let me just say this:
Most of myself (my dark, depressing and suicidal self) actually wants me to kill myself, but I don’t think I have the guts to even do it. But I always think about what will happen, and how I wouldn’t have to suffer anymore.
But the (I hate using this word) normal side of me thinks about who it would hurt, and then I’d feel guilty and would want to seek help. But most of […]
I wrote a previous post about me finally having the opportunity to see a psychologist. I also mentioned how I am going to end it all in a month.
Please hear me out:
I want the answers. I want to hear it from a real psychologist, the things I have. I want to know if there’s something else. I want to know if I have OCD or if its something else that makes me react at times. I want to hear the doctor confirm that, yes, I do have depression. Yes, I do have something. Yes, all my self-diagnosing was correct. I want to hear that I […]
Some new poetry. Can’t think of a title. Feel free to make a suggestion.
Cut out the pain,
Cutting up the vein,
Literally metaphorical,
It’s all the same.
No point to life,
No will to die,
Pick out your poison,
Load the gun,
Sharpen your knife.
Obsessively depressive,
Oppressive consumption,
Elusive delusions,
Illustrate confusion.
Step out of insanity,
Stepping through reality,
Understandably indecipherable,
Becoming of a calamity.
Okay, so i’ve been suicidal for a while now, always trying to overdose and shit like that. but up until now its never been all of me that wants to die, I remember my therapist would ask me how much (out of a percentage) wants me to live and it’d always end up being 50% or lower, as i’d always regret my decisions the next day, but recently i’ve not been regretting and ive come to realise that no part of me wants to live.
I just want to know what happened, what happened to the leftover spark within me which has finally gone out.
‘ What is it then?’ It is the only way a powerless person can find to make everybody else look away from his shame. The wish is not to die, but to hide.
Hey guys… long time no see. It’s been months since I’ve been on here…. months spent thinking. Thinking that I was getting better. Thinking that the old Sam was gone. The one whose depression conquered her on a daily basis. The one who ran to her knife for comfort. The one who never knew what a nigt in peace was like.
Wrong.
So damn mother fucking wrong.
Hahahaha life is a cruel joke my loves. It wants you to live but gives you all the cards to die. I hope you are all doing better than me. I hope to see some familiar faces on here soon… […]
“somewhere something horrible happens to someone on this earth and I am here.”
I started to think what makes me really sad, to know that people are forced to do things they don’t want, like children getting beat up because they blasphemed, men who are send to die against their will, women forced into submission by their own kin. And the list goes on and on, and I feel how this feels,I saw this things, and just thinking about this makes me so strange, kinda a mix between rage, fear, panic, a horrible feeling. And I don’t know how to cope with it, am I too […]
Two times in my life I have almost ended everything. After the first time I never got the help I really needed, and just went on assuming things would get better on their own. Two years later I found myself in the same spot, and this time I was serious. I went to do it, and a phone call from a friend turned into me telling them what I was about to do. They immediately came and got me, and I lived to see another day. I’ll spare you the details of my attempts, but my point is not where I was, but where I […]
Had enough of theses four walls had enough of the same shit different day wake up go college going to work etc is this all there is to life ? What is our real purpose for being here apart from destroying the earth and destroying our selfs and then living another 50 years of being unhappy or like someone said on here to slave away to buy a house then call your self free but then your not really free because your stuck with a heavy mortgage over your head then your just living to pay that of but you have to want to live […]
Suicidal thoughts are an addiction. It’s a disease. Eventually your brain becomes wired to crave it. It’s like being an alcoholic. You can go the rest of your life never having another drink, but you’ll never stop being an alcoholic and never stop wanting a drink.
I wish I could stop wanting to die. I wish it didn’t occupy my thoughts every day. I’m tired of fighting the addiction.