I’m a gun owner and literally every day I spend the day convincing myself not to pull the trigger. I’m a single mom that had a pretty crappy life. I’m adopted but the family who adopted me is crazy. My mother is the worst. I’m not sure exactly what is wrong with her mentally but something is definitely wrong. Not only have I wished myself dead a few times but she has too. I’ve always thought she hated me by things she would say and fights she would get in with my dad when he would defend me. She’s always been jealous of me because […]
Tag:
Trash
Hello, I’m 17 and engaged to a guy who beats me and his whole family i luv him but idk </3 also he lets everyone talk trash bout me he says im ugly and im a nobody ): i just wanna dye already so when can i plz help me tell me what is the fastest plz <3
Once again, i find myself feeling depressed. I thought I might list down my probles here:
Everyone I ever meet instanly calls me gay, sometimes even before I’ve said a word to them.
My parents often make out like im the worst child they could ever have, which I dont think I am.
I have no friends at my new school, and my good friends from my old school are replacing me.
So there you have it. Like I said in my first post, i really feel like im just Gods trash. I feel like an accident, a mistake. There is absolutely nothing good about […]
i dont know when the pain forst began, or if it ever did. maybe i was just born with it. stuck in a life where dead ends is all there ever will be. that everytime i leave it, i get something worse. its become the normal. and sometimes, well most of the time i feel like i need it. like it will always be there and i have nothing without it. it seems to me that i am inviting it, that i look for it. im always down and depressed for no reason at all. and maybe the reason is me. maybe i truely am […]
I have thought about this for so long now. Why should I complain about wanting to die? I have a pretty good home life, an amazing boyfriend, supportive friends, even a good life going for me.
But there’s this tiny side of me that scares me.
I have my parents bitting at each others throats, jerks who wantto talk trash about my boyfriend, friends who abuse my feelings, and all these bad traits I see in myself.
Who said life is perfect? Why do I have the right to want to die?
I do though.
I really Do.
I have lied to so many […]
Well this is just going to be my experience that I had a few months ago.
One day, after having the pills set aside for such an occasion for many a months, I came home in a really crappy mood. Being the thinker I am, I went over in my head all the pros and cons for why I should kill myself. Long story short, the pros won over, and I decided I wanted to do it.
I shoved all 22 of the sleeping pills into my mouth and swallowed them as fast as I could so future me wouldn’t have time to change their mind. After […]
So (by someone on this site) I just got called ungrateful trash and that it wouldn’t matter if i died. Ummmm I have no fucking respect for someone who says something like that, especially on this site.
Since I can never manage to kill myself during a manic episode I figured setting a date would make things much easier.
Still didnt really decide between hanging or jumping in front of the train yet. I am forever in doubt about everything.
It didnt really make things easier though.
Since I woke up this morning I felt weird. I felt this feeling of determination and at the same time doubt.
My mood has jumped from wanting-to-slice-my-own-throat-bad to happy. It seemed to happen more often than usual. I was pretty set on hanging. Then somewhere during the day my anxiety kicked in and I felt too low to go […]
being hurt is possibly the worse feeling someone can ever get it feels like your being punished for the mastikes you made in life not knowing how much it could acturally hurt someone by saying the wrong thing or saying nothing at all being treated like your not there that noone can see you so noone can hurt you but that hurts more being treated like a pieced of trash that you can just throw away isnt how your suppost to make people feel everyone desreves to live life the way they want too and not give a care in the world but as the […]
When your feeling down people, Suicide is never the answer. Get some help be there for one another. Don’t let your fears get to you. Stand up to them bullies who can’t find anything better to do. Trash talk them do anything you can to fight against them and make them scared of you.
I have thought and battled trust me, I have got myself out of some really downward states. the thing is though I cant change my life, my external life, Ive changed my internal one but my external one remains empty. I struggle to accept that while I am good looking/ wise/ good hearted/ fun (if im in the right mood) my looks and who I am just means nothing to the majority of women. I guess my problem is in my empty life that I have come to rely on dating sites instead of real life.
Im 34 , good looking and the only woman who seems into me […]
Have you ever had a moment where you’re just thinking, not about anything in particular.. and those innocent thoughts take a nasty turn? Next thing you know you’re talking yourself out of hurting yourself. Moments of insanity I like to call them. When something in your head shifts ever so slightly and everything you’ve stuffed and hidden inside for twenty years tries to get out? It over loads the brain and you just want to make it stop. You’d do anything for the memories and the pain to leave.
I’ve never been able to fully tell anyone the whole story. Why not a bunch of random […]
When I start cutting again I always wonder why the hell I stopped.
by christina--
written by christina--
It feels so good to cut so deep in your skin that it wont stop bleeding for hours.
I love the feeling afterwards. When the wounds are trying to heal but because youre wearing clothes it keeps on opening again.
I love the way it stings everywhere when I move to remind me what a disgusting piece of trash I am- as if I could forget that.
I love seeing the blood slide down my body.
When I only look at my blade alone I smile. I cant help but smile while I cut myself.
Why would I not smile? This is what I enjoy […]
I’m sick of doing so much shit for everyone around me and getting nothing in return. I’m nice as can be 24/7, even to people I can’t stand, and all I get back is, you got it, NOTHING. That or they treat me even worse. I’m just tired. What’s the point? Why bother being nice to people who are just going to screw you over, ignore you, stab you in the back, and treat you like trash? Not to mention I’m ALWAYS the third wheel. I pay for everything when I can, I treat everyone like freaking royalty and I’m starting to think they don’t […]
It’s gradualy filling up.My heart is turning jet black,I just feel it.It always felt so empty but now the void is replaced with hatred and disgust.Hatred for my own kind.Hatred for myself most.I’m such a trash.A trash that live in this dump called earth.A dump filled with being I consider trash as well,all piled up together.
I just can’t feel contempt,I can’t be happy here.The only thing that kept me here so long are video games,pathetic as it may.I’m tired of wasting every days away on those stupid games so my poor little self don’t have to think about anything.I achieve nothing everyday.
I just hate humankind.
I […]
Had a few good (sort of) days. Now the depression is coming back like it always does. Suffering 2 month long dakr depression for 2 to 3 days of mild happiness? Who ever said it was worth it was a wonderful optimist. The sad part is the depression is getting worse and darker and playing with my suicide button I don’t really hide at all within myself. I dare it to push it. But no…The depression gets longer into the burning depths while the “happy†days shorten. It makes me want to go back to cutting so I can endure this predictability more easily and […]
ive realized everytime something is bout to make me wanna die, a couple days before i rearrange my room so 3 days ago i changed my room: my bed is up against my window, my dresser pushed against my closet my trash can in the middle of the room and nightstand nearly up against my door. kinda crazy but whatever. i thought i rearranged outa boredom now i noticed when i do so a couple days later something makes me very depressed. hmm could this just be a coincendence or maybe is this pattern tryin to tell me something.
I’m not really sure what made me register for this website. it’s just something inside of me made me think that finally I have found people that might understand. I feel ugly fat worthless. I feel like if I die nobody would notice. I started cutting about febuary. I stopped for about a month. then I started again. I want to just take a knife and slit me throat. I want to die. it’s just that noone cares. some people say they do but then they act like I am just… I don’t know. just a peice of trash. they don’t really care. I want […]
So, I’m sitting here waiting (it seems I do an awful lot of waiting these days) for a ride so that I can hopefully get to my so -called “parenting class”. Have you ever been to one of these classes? They’re a total waste of time, and just another way for the state to keep your kids longer. I mean, really, who the hell needs someone to tell them how to take out the trash every day or remind them that babies can’t be brats? Are we really not evolved enough yet to understand that children are generally unable to be mean until the age […]
He threw the trash can at her… I want him GONE. I was right there trying to shrink into the couch… I thought for sure he was gonna turn to me and try to strangle me…