Tag:

want

morning begins f#cking great

by Lacalamity 4/28/2016

written by Lacalamity

Went to the shop to get milk and some alcohol, to make some pudding and drown my sorrows. Got me some vine but I see that I can’t f#cking open it.

Besides that I just wanna f#cking die since a month. I really don’T want therapy, I don’t want to feel happiness, I enjoy my pass-time activities but I am not happy, even when I had my first girlfriend I was apathetic and didn’t feel anything.

Every time I am at my parents house, the gun locker laughs at me, I could just end it all, go to the forest and bang.

4/28/2016 8 comments

by NicoleK 4/28/2016

written by NicoleK

Just slept for almost 24 hours. Had a stomach bug at work and couldn’t leave, because we were short-handed. So when I got home at 7am yesterday, I guess my body was like wtf. Now, it’s almost 4am, and I’m awake. And it’s so incredibly lonely. Life is so lonely. I didn’t want to get out of bed and be reminded of that.

4/28/2016 2 comments

What is a distortion like me called?

by quaero 4/27/2016

written by quaero

Just what exactly does what life want out of me? Why don’t I get out of suffering even when I can? I meditated today after a long time. It was so peaceful and fulfilling. But I, purely consciously and deliberately, right in the middle, crashed it all up, torn it all up. I just couldn’t handle the peace! What the hell is wrong with me? What do I want? Is all this suffering not enough? I must be either mad or the most fucked up crooked donkey of a person on earth. (You know the property of a donkey? He gets fat in winter and starved in spring. That’s because in spring […]

4/27/2016 1 comment

Depression.

by emotionalnightmare 4/27/2016

written by emotionalnightmare

Depression is like a war you either win or lose at battling. Depression is like a cage you cannot get out of. Depression is like suffocating but in reality you’re not. Depression is something most people battle with. It absolutely sucks and I don’t know why people want it. You always want to be alone, not to be bothered with. It’s like being trapped in your own mind you cannot esacpe yourself. I always wonder how different my life would be without Depression. I wonder about how many wonderful things I would do. Hang out with friends. Open my mouth to assholes. Say what I […]

4/27/2016 1 comment

Suicide Is Pretty Funny!!

by Wednesday 4/27/2016

written by Wednesday

Suicide is pretty & Suicide is Funny.
So when you add it all together, I guess Suicide is Pretty Funny!!

The powder burns inside my mouth begin to scream and shout.
My mom is a Fag & my Dad is to.
All the kids make-fun of me at school.
So…. I put my .38 caliber inside my mouth and make a mess all on the bed, skull fragments on the sheets & on the spread.

SUICIDE IS PRETTY FUNNY.

I don’t want to fight with the Thunder in my head anymore.
All the other kids say I’m a whore, with the cellphone pictures of my panties […]

4/27/2016 5 comments

Confession

by lostandconfused17 4/26/2016

written by lostandconfused17

I’m a compulsive liar. I lie about silly things like what food I had for lunch or telling stories with friends. I also lie about real things like whether or not I cut or that I lost my job or that I’m not an alcoholic.

Here is the truth:

I am a failure. I dropped out of school because I have no drive and hated who I was at school, but blamed it on my depression. I lost my job because I didn’t want to show up, so I didnt, I then lied about why I lost my job. I was supposed […]

4/26/2016 2 comments

I’m starting to feel horrible again.

by Lawli 4/26/2016

written by Lawli

The depressions coming back again. It’s been almost a mouth and a half maybe since I’ve noticed it but I feel even more fucked up. My heads going crazy and I just feel like i’m drowning.

I have suicidal thoughts regularly but at least I have ideas for what I want my future to be like which is probably why i’m still living. I also feel like I may have bipolar but i’m not a doctor so I wouldn’t know. It almost feels good, but I also just feel even more fucked up altogether.

The thoughts in my head are going crazy. I have been drawing for […]

4/26/2016 2 comments

Finally, somewhere I dont feel judged

by brighteyes77 4/26/2016

written by brighteyes77

It feels nice to write my feelings on a social media page where everyone gets me. I talk to my boyfriend all the time about my depression and bless him he’s bent over backwards to try make me happy, and as much as love him and appreciate the effort he’s going to I physically can’t change how I think or feel 🙁 its gotten to the point where he feels like he’s useless because I havent improved at all, but he’s not! And when he feels useless sometimes he gets mad and thats only been recently, I cant blame him after 2 years of having […]

4/26/2016 4 comments

Hard for me to give things a chance

by dividebyzero 4/26/2016

written by dividebyzero

I started a new job today, my first full-time job in six months. I wish I could give it a chance, but my mind won’t let me. So many times today I asked myself why I dragged myself back into this grind when three months ago I was so ready to just say fuck it and end it all. I feel like now I’ve just taken on more expectations and added a whole new set of people I’m probably going to let down the next time I have a really bad couple of weeks. Part of me clearly doesn’t want to give up, but the […]

4/26/2016 3 comments

rambling… you don’t have to read… blah

by claritee 4/25/2016

written by claritee

It’s extremely sad and unfortunate when I realize that the majority of my depression and anxiety stems from my relationship with my ex. Would I be depressed and have anxiety if it weren’t for him? Yes. But I was never this bad until we broke up.

We talked last night. We decided to be just friends a while back, maybe a month or so ago… but since then he was seriously avoiding me. It caused me severe depression. I cry often. I can’t listen to music because 90% of music is about love. My heart breaks every moment. It’s bad. Anyway, he explained last night that […]

4/25/2016 7 comments

My day

by kupo95 4/25/2016

written by kupo95

I woke up at 5:45 am from a bad dream and couldn’t fall back to sleep I was already exhausted from being up so early the day before and I went to sleep the night at 1:00 am . I ran a fair in Reno NV from 9:00 am till about 3:00 pm we closed up three hours earlier. the past two days I have been on a fair in the freezing temps yesterday snow today it was rain …the fair was packed with people and it was huge . I some how made 80$ today which beat my 35$ from yesterday .once I got […]

4/25/2016 2 comments

I’m Angry

by Ylem 4/24/2016

written by Ylem

Angry at a certain someone, but still feel okay.
Here’s what a supposed friend of mine said to me a few days ago. Since I’m an internalizer as my therapist calls it, it keeps playing over and over in my head and pissing me off all over again.

I used to feel so sad for you and your family. I’d pray for you guys, for God to comfort you and give you strength. Until I realized you don’t want to get better. Now I feel so sad for your mother, for all she is going through because of your “illness”.
You strike me as one person […]

4/24/2016 12 comments

I WAS the suicide, mom beat me

by jennjenn 4/23/2016

written by jennjenn

I came here often, not much to say. I’ve tried plenty of times, I’m just a dick.
Now I’m 19 weeks pregnant. Mom killed herself on Saturday. No email, no call, idk if there was a note. I didn’t realize how awful this end feels. No fucking answers. She knew I was pregnant and didn’t care. Knew I have no family and I’m in trouble, no biggie.
I still want to do it. All I did is sob before. Bf screams at me and threatens to kick me out all the time.
The world is fucked.

4/23/2016 5 comments

I’m so tired of everything

by suicidalfreak 4/23/2016

written by suicidalfreak

I’ve just reached the end my family doesn’t understand anything they’ve been yelling at me all day blaming me for being a waste of space. I don’t want to be here if do anything to get lost

4/23/2016 2 comments

Hello!! Yebobpa here! My first post of introduction!

by Yebobpa 4/23/2016

written by Yebobpa

HI! This is my first post, and I am excited to get to know you folks. I have suicidal ideation, but am happy now! I met a lady and she changed my way of thinking, but don’t want to become suicidal again. I would

4/23/2016 3 comments

Suicidal Moments

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 4/23/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

I just want to go to sleep and not wakeup. I’m still lonely. It’s not all gloom and doom. I’m just tired. My favorite artist of all time is dead instead of me. I’d gladly give my life for Prince to be alive I’ve been listening to his music my entire life. Somebody I used to love is still incredibly beautiful and i just think of how inadequate i am looking at her picture. I don’t think my death would be a big deal. I wish I’d just do it…at least for the moment.

4/23/2016 4 comments

strength

by claritee 4/23/2016

written by claritee

It’s really hard to be strong for someone else when you’re so broken yourself. Sometimes I just want to crawl in a hole and never leave it.

4/23/2016 4 comments

Selfish

by justmenik 4/22/2016

written by justmenik

Who’s more selfish? Those who want to die or those who want us to live?

4/22/2016 15 comments

Suicide not

by Endmypain 4/21/2016

written by Endmypain

Im in angry state right now with all little things in my life that has happend. In first place I angry for me for not solving my social anxiety. In second place im a feel myself as failutre for not accomplishing much in life an in failing in many times in different areas of life. I angry at people because i think they take advantage of me or are not reliable. I SEE A LOT OF POSTS HERE WITH THESE COMPLAINTS. But at the same time i feel its all my fault for not going for it.Being a lazy ass and not trying. […]

4/21/2016 1 comment

i don’t know what’s real,

by quietcheep 4/20/2016

written by quietcheep

i get deja vu so often i don’t know what’s real and it makes me panic. my head is all messed up and tied in knots and i can’t stop thinking about how this isn’t real, this is all fake somehow, i’m fake, and it makes me suicidal. i want to feel real again i haven’t felt really real in so long it makes me sick. i’m panicking right now and i don’t know what to do anymore just that i want to stop pretending to exist

4/20/2016 2 comments

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