Tag:

want

The Only One

by Matt 2/11/2015

written by Matt

You were the only one I could really talk to. The only one I could tell when I wasn’t feeling alright. Only you don’t know that, you probably think it’s the opposite, that I don’t want to talk to you.

And now, you tell me you think I don’t even want to get better. Well, I don’t. Not really. I’m not cut out for it.

I would go right now but you’d probably find me.

I’ll do it tomorrow morning, when you’re out.

Don’t think it doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I do, unconditionally. But this is how it’s meant to be.

I had 2 dreams last night. The […]

2/11/2015 6 comments

My end is near

by Boris123 2/11/2015

written by Boris123

Well, it’s starting. People are starting to forget me. Starting to think I don’t even exist. People hate me. People don’t want to talk to me. People don’t care for me and lastly people don’t love me. And these are all facts. Well, I guess suicide her I come. I hope all of you would be happy after I do it.

2/11/2015 6 comments

Murder-Suicide

by dreamsinwhichimdying 2/10/2015

written by dreamsinwhichimdying

I know this site is for people who want to kill themselves, and I know many of you would look at me in disgust, but I want to kill my father, and then kill myself. I hate my father beyond words. He is supposed to protect me, shelter me, and teach me how to be an adult. Instead, he attacks me verbally and financially every chance he get. Any attempt to fight back only makes it worse, because he’s a master manipulator and constantly works to make my entire family hate me, which they’re so close to doing. He can shit on my face and […]

2/10/2015 3 comments

Not complete yet

by quaero 2/10/2015

written by quaero

I don’t have the faith, nor self esteem. But the ability to try, the potential. I can, but i feel mentally weak and doubt myself. What is it that pulls me down every time? maybe its the opposite of what pushes me up every time; you know tao and all that. Perhaps the question is not how to move up but how to keep stable. It’s the attraction in degradation that pulls me down. I need to avoid/prevent that while remaining true with myself.

I need to be above things. i need to distinguish between what is utility and what is me. I have experienced such states when […]

2/10/2015 1 comment

My 21st birthday is this week

by brendenswinded 2/9/2015

written by brendenswinded

I’ve come a long way since I was younger. The last years of my life have been filled with travel, education, and growth. Even though it was good, I still felt like I didn’t want to stick around. I stomached it and tried to make myself happy anyway, because there were times where I was honest to god glad to be alive.

It would suck if I never stopped feeling like this though. Objectively speaking, I’m at the top of the world. I have everything that I could want and I try to dedicate time out of everyday to be grateful for it, but sometimes I […]

2/9/2015 1 comment

Just trying to…

by quaero 2/8/2015

written by quaero

Maybe I can’t do it. I know my soul. It gets satisfaction only in degradation. I just want to rot. I think that’s because I have seen the end, traveled the farthest . There is nothing left for me to know. And I know it’s all futile. And it doesn’t prompt me to suicide; it only prevents me from finding a positive, satisfying motivation in doing anything that’s beneficial for me. And that would be all good and satisfying, i would be very happy in rotting, if there wasn’t this constant pressure, this sense of obligation that i feel towards my family. I just can’t make […]

2/8/2015 1 comment

You know that feeling?

by helenabeat 2/8/2015

written by helenabeat

When you know everything is so fucked up and you can’t do anything about it?
When you really want to die but you have reasons to live?
When you really need someone to talk but no one is there for you?
Because I do..

2/8/2015 4 comments

never going to be ok

by silvermoon 2/7/2015

written by silvermoon

i live in a state of terror praying people away feeling like they are going to smash thru and take from me what they want. i clench my teeth at night. i hear things no one should have to hear. i gave up on god long ago yet god never lets up on me except to remind me hes not going to do anything to help me. i go thru a fog with my head bent terrified to be seen lest they attack me or kill me or rape me or burn me alive for being on disability, i only deserve to suffer. i am […]

2/7/2015 4 comments

Any Depression Buddies NJ

by foxtrotz 2/7/2015

written by foxtrotz

I have been in mental anguish , agony for far too long. I don’t care you’re age or gender or even locale. I just want someone to talk about anything and everything. Maybe , we could help each other. I’ve been holding on for 7 years.

Email foxtrotz at aol

Bobby

2/7/2015 4 comments

Hating life right now

by Pretend Girl 2/6/2015

written by Pretend Girl

I don’t want to be dead. I don’t want to live. Limbo is the only answer. Sorry no cheer here- but I do mean the things I posted to threads today. But still- blah.

2/6/2015 10 comments

When you just want to hurt yourself for a change.

by distraught.server 2/6/2015

written by distraught.server

Have you ever just been tired? I mean exhausted, used up, nothing left… I feel this way constantly.

My life isn’t the worse, I’ve had ups and downs, like everyone. I’ve had those who have wanted to hurt me and those who have wanted to help. I’ve had family defend and offend me. I’ve had opportunity knock and doors close. But it’s not so much the ups and downs of it all. I mean, I know things happen all the time. Good things, bad things, nothing, something… these are just events. However as humans, I believe we tie ourselves to these life events. We allow them to […]

2/6/2015 1 comment

********

by chrisday1990 2/6/2015

written by chrisday1990

hey guys I’m looking into the ******** option, scientists and research is pointing the USA government into using ******** gas as a more humain way as opposed to lethal injection. Any thoughts guys. I’m biased in North London so if anyone want to meet up add us on Facebook chris day

2/6/2015 3 comments

Mabye its best this way…

by falling_soup 2/5/2015

written by falling_soup

I can not keep doing this anymore and I know that I have tried and tried to keep fighting, yet when I do fight it’s never enough. I hate being shit on by teachers and by my own mother. The one who “loves you the most” doesn’t and well.. If people continue to do this to me (the making me feel terrible and the shit on) I am and WILL give up. I am going to cut and try to soothe the pain. The fact is, I do not know how to cope anymore.. I am done thinking that I can keep doing this because […]

2/5/2015 2 comments

I feel so selfish…

by JustLauren 2/5/2015

written by JustLauren

Sometimes I can’t help but think that depression is such a selfish thing. A logical part in my brain tells me that ‘it’s a chemical imbalance’, but the self-hating part of me tells me I’m a horrible person. I mean, there are starving people out there, people without homes. I have a home (though sometimes I struggle to pay rent) and I don’t usually starve, though I am now. No money to pay bills and pay for food and whatnot. But anyhow, that’s really the extent of my worries. Money and some life decisions I’ve made recently. And I know my poor upbringing doesn’t help […]

2/5/2015 2 comments

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME I NEED SOMEONE SO BAD!

by Christina 2/5/2015

written by Christina

I literally have nobody right now and I feel so alone and so empty I feel so much pain I cant stop crying I just want to die I don’t want to wake up someone please help me I cant take another second of this please!!!!!

2/5/2015 9 comments

Honestly

by theforgottenfew 2/4/2015

written by theforgottenfew

I’m not what you’d call suicidal. I don’t wish I was dead every day or think that the world would be better off without me. Personally I just need SP because it’s the only place I have found where I can express all my fucked up feelings and emotions free of judgement. If I’m not active on here or I don’t read all your shit and comment on everyone else’s shit I’m sorry, it’s because I come here to let out my own personal demons not to drown myself in everybody else’s.
Yes, thank you if you read my stuff and comment on it, I […]

2/4/2015 2 comments

im so lost

by Gebrochener Mann 2/4/2015

written by Gebrochener Mann

i dont know who i am any more. the people and things that i used to enjoy only serve to upset me. the magic is gone. i have no friends left and no will to make another. what purpose do i have? i cant find satisfaction any were let alone peace of mind. its like a constant screaming match in my head. nothing feels right any more, nothing feels real. im tired. i just want this to be over. i cant pull the trigger ive tried so now i just lay in bed at night crying hoping i wont wake up in the morning. this […]

2/4/2015 1 comment

Im sorry if i let you down mate

by E 2/3/2015

written by E

i think i might of fucked up this friendship super bad and im not sure if you come here anymore, or under a different name so i wont see you suffering, but, im sorry i didnt make more of an effort, i find it hard sometimes,but im not going to make excuses, it was shitty of me to do when you were suffering, and i wish i could go back and call you more, instead of waiting a week to call you, then letting it go when you didnt pick up,

i wish i tried to call you 5 times that night more even, instead of […]

2/3/2015 4 comments

Sick of it all

by jetset516 2/2/2015

written by jetset516

26 years working for the same company…boss half my age, 21 year old daughter sick in a wheelchair all her life, me and wife are 24/7 caregivers. I dont want to anymore. nothing is fun nothing is worthit. Cant even get disab insurance to believe Im not well so i wasted 3 weeks off no pay and will probably be stuck going back to work in a few days. fuck it. 26 ativan in a bottle in the bathroom. Only reserve i have is that its not enough. I dont want to end up on a machine. Never though I was a bad person but […]

2/2/2015 2 comments

I just need to do it

by TheRoadSoFar 2/2/2015

written by TheRoadSoFar

Don’t read this if you don’t want to. I don’t expect people to do it. I just need to summarize the past months to see where I fucked up once again.

I started highschool, alone, like always.
People came to me asking why was I alone and if I wanted to be with them.
I befriended them.
I started meeting more and more people. They all seemed really nice.
Probably I fell in love with someone.
All my friends are “divided” into 2 different groups.

Group 1.
-The girl I accidentally fell in love with even when I know I will never accomplish anything.
-The girl’s best […]

2/2/2015 2 comments

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