I really don’t want to die but I feel like it’s the only thing I can do to escape everything that haunts me in my head and my life. I just can’t stand my thoughts and insecurities, therapy and medication are a bunch of horseshit I know this firsthand as I’ve been on countless medications etc. The only thing that breeds a positive change are life CHANGES and improvement. Nothing gets better if nothing ever changes. I don’t want to fucking hold myself back anymore, I want to be free. I feel like I’m imprisoned in my mind and it’s been too long like this, […]
I’ve been wanting to die for quite a while now, and It’s not that I’ve lost all my friends, or that I have some illness, traumas or whatever. And that makes me sad. Sad because I want life to never have started, but I have no real reason to want that.
Well, I hate the options of future I have right now. I’m enrolling on engineering, but have disliked it since the first half. I like music quite a lot, and have tried a few instruments, but I came to realise that I don’t have the time to master any instrument and make a living […]
I am so done with this world. I don’t want to commit suicide. I just want to die. Every single day I imagine myself getting run over by a truck or suddenly acquiring a terminal disease. I think of those people with cancer or aids and think that they don’t deserve that. There are lots of people who want to die, why not give them the cancer or something. I think I’m depressed and I tried telling my mom once. She told me “You’re not depressed.” Then she gave me a chocolate milkbox. I told my sister that I may be depressed and she’s the […]
ive never needed someone to give me the will to survive… until 5 years ago. Ever since then its been so hard to stay alive. How do you go on when every morning you wake up wishing you didnt….. how do you make yourself want to be alive. 5 years…. 5 long, painful, slow years. I go through so many struggles and i dont know how many more i can take. When i was around 4 or 5 my brother used to make me get undressed and he would touch me, in a way no child should have to be subjected to. Then, when i […]
im 17 and my parents started the process of divorce my brother is already past 18 and doesnt have the choices to make of who to live with, my boyfriend for a little longer than a year and i broke up because his sister kept saying he could do better and that i was pathetic, i feel like i have no friends they dont invite me anywhere to do anything with them, i have depression and have been wanting to cut really deep lately but my parents locked up all the knives and i could just go to walmart and buy a new one but […]
So the guy I am talking just told me he is also suicidal ! Last night he attempted to take his life 🙁 I am a little bummed because I don’t know if I can help him. Shit I can’t even help myself. I feel like like shit for wanting to just leave out his life . idk what am I suppose to do o.O
I can’t go through this anymore, being lied to, betrayed, and hurt by.I’m tired of wanting to not be myself of hurting myself. I contemplate if I ceased to exist how long it would take anyone to notice, well if anyone ever did. When you are alone and don’t have anyone who truly loves you its hard. I can’t be strong anymore because I know its not worth it. No one actually wants to be with me for something other than their personal gain.
I feel like everythingis just on its way out. I had to move in with family because my hours got cut, im on the verge of an ending relationship, because my girlfriend and i are both in debt and i feel like im the only one trying to get out of this hole.
I cant even have an enjoyable conversation with anyone because im just not interested in the simple things that most are. Im a techy, a nerd, a gamer, whatever you want to call it, and theres no one really around here that i can have intilectual conversations with, about the things i […]
I’m sitting on my bed staring at six ibuprofen tablets knowing its not enough to kill me but still wanting to take them
at the same time I’m not sure I’ll be able to cope with a failed attempt
I want to run away
Say you’ll come
I want to be okay
Let’s just run
We will never look back
We can leave our pain behind
Let the past stay in the past
I’ll be yours; you’ll be mine
I’m just going to leave. But I can’t help wanting someone to come with me.
I’m already dead inside.
I screwed my life beyond repair, and all of it for no valid reasons. All because of anxiety that got me and the depression that came after. I gave up my life and I cannot take it back. I cannot live in the “what’s left of my life” while facing everyday the “how bright my life would have been if I didn’t screwed it all up”. It’s just too painful and it drains my motivation away. I don’t like myself anymore and I think it doesn’t worth to live like this.
I didn’t commit suicide yet because I am afraid of the consequences […]
the day is coming fast. i have things to do. death preparations someone told me. making sure things are in order- savings accounts, insurance policies, bills for the month paid. gonna start cleaning my closet. nothing obvious. been writing goodbye letters in my head. there is a small part of me who is screaming . the majority says shut up. i can’t explain what is going on in my head. rapid mood swings, not wanting to talk, wanting to be alone. all kinds of physical complaints. too late to address those. too late to address my fucked up head. i accept responsibility for the fucked […]
so my best friend has been really quiet for the past month and i just found out why. a kid in out grade tried to rape her on night. i was shocked when i found out. yeah the kid was kinda weird but rape? i didn’t think it could happen in our small town. to my best friend. i had done all i could trying to make her feel better and tell me what was wrong before i found out. i set up a scavenger hunt in her house for her, i told her that i was there if she ever needed to talk. but […]
There’s a number of ways this post is going to go and things I want to talk about that I’ve been thinking about. But it’s all just going to be one giant rant in the end of how much I want to kill myself. First, I’ve been beginning to notice once you’re 21, your life is over. There’s such a big difference between each year until that age. “remember when we were 16 and we used to do that?” We’re 18 now. Those 2 years make the world, but whether you’re 30 or 35, there really is no difference. That being said, I feel I […]
Nothing is safe in this world least of all the internet but hre I am anyway b/c I’m so tired of doing this. I wake up exhausted every day and in hell. I have a meds appt. today and as usual will have to take two buses and deal with the shit-tastic city and the triggers. I am running out of steam. It’s hard to do anything with this level of ptsd and my T doesn’t want to know about how bad I feel. My apt. is so cold due to being built above the ground that it made me physically ill this winter, I […]
Mistakes that haunt you
Not the ones, others expect
You wish they would
But you are alone
Just regret
Sick of girls wanting you
Sick of being alone
Sick of being amazing
Sick of being dull
With you, Primal.
With you, Final.
With you, I thought.
How tragic can be life
Thinking and talking about suicide
Just in the edge of our sad eyes
A tear is falling down, tired of the frustrated tries
And how broke can be our aim
Living depressed of saving fates
Just one cut can be enough
To end this hell and delete this chains.
But we’re not the falling angels
And we don’t need to go to heaven
As we collapse we can stand up
And keep fighting for the crashing of a few cups.
Wanting a rainbow without a storm
Wanting feel full without crying alone
You can’t say the true before to say […]
I was so happy yesterday. I had a drink with some friends and they were so surprised and happy to see me ok. I had a good time.
So I can’t understand why I woke up today wanting to die, and why all the problems seem so big that I’m afraid to even think about them.
As you get from the title I am new at this, I don’t really know where to begin. Sorry if it’s hard to understand I’ll do my best to keep it simple.
I’m still in highschool. I have been a cutter or “self-harmer” for about a year, though I have been depressed for years before I starting cutting. I tried to commit suicide a while back. I think about trying again everyday, I just don’t have the courage to try again. I’m afraid of what it will do to the people I leave behind. Life my family but most importantly my bestfriend. She knows about everything […]
In some ways having Asperger’s has similar types of symptoms to being bipolar! When I get to do something that I really enjoy, I get very manic and my whole world lights up! It’s also known as getting to enjoy my special interests that are associated with having Aspergers Syndrome and my special interests are trains! When I go through the usual blah shit, I just wish that I could die! When I have to do things that I don’t want to do, everything turns to shit! I am feeling extremely manic because I will do some traveling in the […]