Like I never thought I’d be the one to be suicidal but I can’t stand my reality and the thoughts I have. It’s really really agonizing and frustrating. Like I think of things that shouldn’t even matter. Like why am I human and why do I have to be human and see other humans all the time. Like humans are stupid and weird. I like weird but its unexplainable. I just feel very very repulsed as a human. I can’t stand it, makes me wanna kill myself everyday but I don’t cause I gotta live for my family and boyfriend. I also can’t […]
Tag:
Weird
I’m writing here to tell you guys how I feel. As one of the posts I read, this person implied that he/she isn’t suffering from anything dramatic such as a traumatic experience, death of loved ones, problems in relationships or family matters. I myself could say the same. Anyone would want a simple life like mine but guess what.. Even I’m suffering. I’m suffering in a way that doesn’t make sense at all. I think of contemplating suicide, some days more than others. Why? Because of these horrific and nightmarish thoughts I have. I can’t stand the fact of knowing we are like […]
It’s weird. I read everyone else’s stories and I see a light in every story. I feel like everyone can get better. Even when things seem hopeless. Everyone except me. I see no way out other than death. I know I will only be happy when I end it, or when god ends it for me. I pray at least once a day god will kill me naturally because it would be better for everyone that way. However, I guess since it would actually make me happy to finally die of natural causes, god of course keeps me here in this prison of a body. […]
*My mom is mentally and partially physically abusive
*my dad didn’t want anymore kids, aka, me
*my sisters raised me, then left me with my mother
*my dad is never home
*my dad never talks to me
*I was molested and taught to masturbate at age six by my sisters friend
*my mother openly talks about my idiocy and stupidity to strangers
*I have been suicidal since 6th grade
*my mom left me in 4th grade
*I’ve been convinced that its okay to give my body away
*I’ve been raped
*I have commitment issues
*I’ve tried to commit suicide twice
*I have an addiction to cutting
*I’ve been bullied because I’m different, emo, a kandi kid, scene, bisexual, on […]
I try so hard to look and act normal, to not look weird but eveyone can see right through me. I am so transparent. I make everyone feel uncomfortable because I’m so strange. I can feel it. I’ve realized I’m not normal. I thought I was long ago, when I was a kid but certain things needed to be fixed but they weren’t and now I’m fucked. I don’t think I will ever have kids or get married. No child should have a parent like this. I don’t think I could be happy with anyone. I love my boyfriend but still hate my […]
everyone at school hates me. i have no friends and they all think im weird. im constantly called a whore and a slut but ive never even had sex. the only thing keeping me here for this long is my boyfriend, but he likes another girl so hes basically cheating on me! i knew someone so perfect could never love me. my parents fight 24/7 so its not like i have anyone that cares for me. y live in hell when i can be happy? im so done everyone hates me, including me.i hate everything and everyone and they hate me right back. the only […]
Sure, I’d LOVE to talk to someone about my problems. Simply LOVE to.
by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut
But who’s gonna listen? You? You, the one who comes up to me with a sickly sweet voice saying “What’s wrong?”, and when I tell you, all you have to say is “You need some help, go talk to someone!” before walking the fuck away. That’s the sort of shit that makes people like me NOT talk, you inconsiderate son of a *****.
Everyday, every night, I’m looking. Looking all around me, at my Facebook account, at my Skype, at my phone contacts book, at my god damn life. And always wondering, “Who’s ever gonna listen to me?”.
No-one, that’s who. And the ironic thing is […]
is it weird to be thinking about music at my funeral? don’t know where this came from but i decided i wanted ” the sound of silence” old or new version played at my funeral. don’t know where this idea came from. i want to express my sorrow for those people who died in the psych hospital fire in russia. by pure chance i am a “nutjob” in a first world country. some of the russian patients died in their beds. sedated. sick.
Im Back. Life became busy and tore me away from this place. Hope everyone is doing well. Recently in the month of February I have this weird high going. For an entire month I was okay. I didnt feel any sadness and If i did it only lasted for a moment. Does anyone know why that happened? Another interesting thing. Those voices. I hear them every week instead of every month or so. Â They dont bother me. They hardly talk to me. And when they do, its a simple hello. Kinda funny actually. There is my little update.Â
My story began about 6 months back. I had quit my job at HP and was preparing for some competitive exams. One day I noticed a text from my old friend. She used to be so nice to me in college and I did her a lot of favors. She was a noob with computers so I helped her out a lot in those days. Â This was back when we were in college and well, that was about 2 years ago. Â All this time, I had only thought of her as a friend but seeing her text after all those days. created a sort of […]
I am 15, male.
My whole life basically consisted of people telling me how bad or disappointing I am. It still happens, just not as much because I don’t ever talk to anyone except for online. I mean I remember when I was three in daycare and I would get mad a lot and no one liked me. I had no friends really except my neighbor who I think was annoyed with me a lot. Then I remember being annoying a lot when I was 4 or 5 and my neighbors were really annoyed with me. Like when I would play basketball with my neighbors […]
I am young, (13 almost 14) and I know I should be weird with my emotions. I have suicidal thoughts all of the time. I cry for no reason, suffer from insomnia, and have constant headaches with no medical reasoning. I’ve taken tests online, searched up the symptoms of depression, and all that stuff, and I am sure that I have it. I was okay until I broke my ankle (like a month ago, still have the cast today) where I got a lot worse. Now I just want to die, no matter what. I’ve been so close to trying to drown myself, and while […]
I miss being a little kid the world was so pretty and I loved life. Now things are not what I expected to be like. I often wonder if I could of fixed it. My life just shattered. My counselor thinks my depression is caused by my past. Maybe it was I’m not sure but I just I want to feel good again not feel so disconnected all the time. I have really bad social anxiety I have no friends I’m alone. I think I like being alone I pushed all of  them away. Yet sometimes I wish I had someone who just understand me. I am […]
I’m not really wanted here at my home, my town, or my school. People even say it to me. Everyone seems to be strait up with me. Like “No one even likes you here, just leave already.” “If you take all of your medication and die no one would even care.” I mean like, I ignore them. But I can see why they don’t like me, I don’t even like me. Haha. I’m ugly, I’m too quiet, I never talk, I’m weird, I stare too much, I try to be smart in school (but get judged for it), my whole life revolves around my dead […]
I am not skinny. I am not fat. I am not pretty. I am not ugly. I am not mean. I am not nice. I am not popular. I am not unpopular. I am not weird. I am not normal. I am not social. I not quiet. I am not liked. I am not disliked. I am not happy. I am not angry. I only identify as one thing; sad. That’s it. Why? I am tired. I am sick (recently diagnosed with heart problems). I have no real friends left. I have no caring family. Why? I never did anything, to anyone. I used to […]
I swear, Trevor is either bipolar, a liar, or just weird. He goes and says that I’m ugly one day, but then he acts like he likes me the next. Today, he was talking about me to my friend Bailey. This is what they said : Trevor: Hey, do you know that girl named Courtney? Bailey: Yeah. Trevor: She smells better than she usually does.. Â So, yeah. Weird. I don’t know whether to take offense to it or not because it’s so weird. Seriously. I mean, he may be saying that I used to stink. Then again, he might be trying to compliment me, […]
I had this dream the other night. I can tell about it because it was quite detailed and made at least a little sense while most of my dreams don’t. Though I can’t fully figure it out, but I can link it to my daily fears. It will take  some time to read, I tried to put it as close as I could.
The “action” took place in my home, that tiny apartment on the 5th floor that  my parents own.  I was home and they were at work as usual. Time around noon. I sat at our kitchen table watching some crap on my laptop. […]
I feel…. weird. Almost as if all feeling has been sucked away now. I fake my laughs. My tears just don’t come anymore. When I get hurt, I immediately want to hurt that person back. They put holes in my plan, so I’m going to make them crash and burn. I’m driven by what seems to be revenge, but on what? I can’t figure it out. I only see one way out. Not suicide. Not hurting myself. Trying to get revenge on everything that hurts me. I’ll hurt them back. Apex predators kill without remorse. Humans are Apex predators. I am an Apex predator. Cross […]
This weekend was weird. I don’t know why I got so depressed this weekend. I think I’m just treacly tired and need some rest. I may take a sick day tomorrow and just get out of school. I think it’s what I need.
im sorry to have cut myself again. Â don’t know what possesed me to do so… But IÂ think we all feel that way sometimes
anyways I am sorry I will NOT do it agaon
first off let me start by stating that i dont believe in any sort of afterlife. i dont belive in god or heaven or hell. i dont believe in reincarnation. i believe that once we die we are just simply…gone.
anyway my boyfriend died a little over a year ago from heroin od. we used together but we had a falling out & he started shooting up which we never did. at around the one year mark (august) i felt like i had finally recovered and moved on from his passing but lately ive started shooting up and i chase that feeling constantly… that rush. […]