i am fed up with my life. i loose everything in my lyf, i lost my 1st love he dumps me after that i lost my 2nd love u can say 4 years relationship break up. he dump me very badly cant tell u everything, but my 2nd love is my real love. i am tottaly break. and my brother left me. i am doing mca. but can’nt concentrate on my studies due to this i have lots of supplies. and now i lose my job. my mom alwyz teasing me because i am not inteligent and also that because i have bf, not bf he […]
I don’t want to seem like that person who wants to seak attention when I rant or cry out for help on here. I always feel like that’s the case.. But can someone please try and convince me not to do something stupid.. At least by tomorrow..before I go to work…
yet i still didn’t want to get out of bed. I’m pretty impressed i managed to one step at a time. taking of my clothes from yesterday one article at a time. convinced myself to throw on some nice smelling spray deodorant and put on fresh clothes. I shoulda stayed in bed though.
Today I feel worthless. like a waste. I resigned form my job because I got another job offer at another place. I feel kinda awful, like I’m abandoning them. Like this new job won’t work out. Like I’ll be a failure and lose everything. I know this is what life is like but […]
i’m only interested in responses from people who live there, thanks.
there seems to be conflicting articles about the suicide barrier. the most recent one i could find said the plans were on hold again for another two months. something about acquiring a sufficient amount of american steel for the project.
i need to know if there is any type of safety net up or work going on as of right now. to clarify, i’m not talking about the movable barrier they installed for traffic purposes. (but if you live there, you most likely knew which barrier i meant).
My initial and his form part of my butterfly tattoo – K and A. Unless you know where to look, they’re hard to pick out. Like a special code which requires deciphering.
I’ve known him for nearly two years. We chatted online for a couple of months before meeting up. He’s 40 next month (12 years younger than me) and shares a house with his parents and two dogs. He is on medication for depression and has […]
I had to go to college today. I was in from 1 to 5. It was the same lesson for the entire four hours, so it wasn’t as stressful as when classes switch. I was stuck on a table with the whole class (it’s small, only 10 of us and all girls), so my anxiety and paranoia was almost unbearable.
After meeting with my personal tutor yesterday, I’m allowed to leave lessons whenever I need to for as long as I need to. I wanted to every minute of class, but my anxiety stopped me and so did the fact that I knew I would just […]
There were many indications and hints long ago that something is off about me. There was a big fear that this thing that I call a life would never function like it is suppose to. Did anyone help? I don’t feel like they did but knowing how delusional I can be with my mind only thinking so negatively, they probably did.
Was it it helpful, I can easily say that no it didn’t really help me. Here I am years later with all of my issues amplified with new ones created. All of these problems coupled with the lack of energy that holds me down every […]
Last night I had two films I edited screen to a sold out audience of thousands and receive huge accolades. At the after party there was no shortage of people congratulating me and showering me with praise for my work. It was very fulfilling.
And yet, that night when I went to bed and the first thing I thought of in the morning was “I want to die.”
I can’t live like this anymore. It’s exhausting beyond belief and there really is no joy to be had. I swear, I only really got through the after party because of all the drinks I had. In fact, this […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/tmp_31933-rendition-requiem1220324555.mp3
This piece was composed by Cordless.
I just did some production editing.
No offense meant Cordless. I absolutely loved it. That’s why I wanted to work with it. If it upsets you at all, just say so I’ll take it down and bury it in the depths of hell forever.
Is it fair that I blame my mom for what happened? I mean after all, she does have 4 child and she needed to work, right? She needed to be out, RIGHT? But what about me? Was it my fault for wearing such short skirts and shorts? Is it possible that I actually provoked him? What if I had trusted someone? If maybe I hadn’t been so damn scared, then maybe, just maybe Mom would love me, right? Stupid hope. She’s always trying to get in and then karma -like the ***** she is- comes around and destroys it. Of course Mom would never love […]
Do we Live to work or work to live ??
I have no idea if this is going to work right.
If you’re able to listen to the sound file, here’s the story behind it:
I wrote it in 2011, and it’s called “Requiem”.
A requiem is a song written to honor someone who has passed away.
I thought it might be nice played at my funeral.
I realize the instruments are all computery and fake sounding; it’s artificially generated sounds, and I’m sorry about that. I wish it came out better. It would be better with real people playing real instruments.
The instrumentation is as follows:
Piano
Acoustic Guitar
Cello
Electric Bass
String […]
Frustrating thing:
I tried making an audio post so you could hear something I wrote a few years ago.
I can’t get the audio post to work right.
I chose “audio” as the format.
I clicked on “add media” and uploaded the sound file.
I clicked on “preview” to make sure it would work.
It doesn’t.
Keeps saying “File Not Found”.
I tried the whole thing again, deleting the sound file, deleting the post draft.
Tried all over again.
Chose audio format.
Uploaded the file.
Clicked on Preview.
Nothing. It just keeps saying “File not found”.
WHAT am I doing wrong???
The file’s only 15.5 KB, so it’s well below the […]
Everything seems ok, then someone asks: are you ok? And I start crying non stop. Yes everything is ok.
I have to go work, but I get there and do nothing.
I am feeling empty.
A few good opportunities came to hand this week. Things I would have given everything else for, a year ago. And here I am, not giving a fuck for them.
I just want to cry. I just want to stop feeling this sad.
I’ve been sleeping through the past few weeks since the new semester began. Last semester i slept through the last 2 months of term and i scraped through my exams, but since then i just dont have the energy or the discipline to work. And it’s kind of funny because what happens to those of us who don’t want to work? Do we just go homeless and starve on the streets? If it comes to that, i’ll make a point of dying on my own, out of the way, in the wilderness somewhere.
Every time i feel this complete and utter lack of hope, a level […]
So I have severe social anxiety and have only had one ltr which was an ldr. Im trying to lose weight and do more stuff in order to possibly meet someone special. So at work in order to destigmatize talking to women i decided to say hi how are you or some variation to every girl i could at work. I work at a huge warehouse and we all have to move really fast. So i couldn’t keep any long convos going.(good im terrible at small talk) I didn’t have a panic attack the whole time and im proud of myself. Im going to continue […]
I made some lovely sausage rolls and chips and I am about to settle down and FINALLY watch the first part of Mockingjay! I’ve been waiting to do this forever it seem now, blimey.
And I’ve got some lovely chocolate biscuits to indulge in after my lovely sausage rolls.
Yes, I know that it is very late over here but I don’t work tomorrow, so a bit of naughty is totally fine.
I was supposed to go out today. I broke down 10 minutes before we left due to the arguing downstairs which made the voices unbearable. I’m going out tomorrow morning now. I’m terrified. I don’t want to go out, I don’t want to leave the house. I couldn’t leave my room until mid-afternoon today because there was a man in the hallway waiting for me.
My mum yelled at me because I’m hearing the voices and Angels. She yelled because I’m seeing things. And she still wonders why I don’t speak to her. She makes me feel awful for having this going on. I feel guilty […]
A homeless/semi-homeless person coming from the streets trying to get on their feet shouldn’t owe the government jack shit when you don’t get jack shit. Somehow my taxes got fucked up at work and what’s even more fucked up is I have to claim one job as two jobs because both have their own EIN and W2. But the deal was, my employer’s finances went through another company as they were a start up. When they separated and became their own entity, they got their own EIN and new payroll system. So when the first W2 ends from the parent company, with the grand total […]
I’m not even sure how to start. I pulled up from work crying. (And that was before I read Nidda’s post i started really bawling then) Im just defeated in this moment. I will be fired soon because of the urealistic productivity standards. Im listening to an audiobook called the Confidence Gap. Its main focus is that you cant control what thoughts pop in your head but how long they stay. Also it is irrelevant how true a thought is but how helpful one is. […]