I like this video it makes me feel less sub conscious about my looks. The girl makes me a bunch of good points now onto the post
I said in a previous post that i would kill myself in 18 (now 17 1/2 months) then i realized its more like 11 1/2. You see if im in the home strech at the same point I’m at I’m going to do it. Don’t get me wrong im moving forward still working out i have an interview tomorrow in the new city im moving to (about an hour and a half away this makes the 3rd major move in less than a year). I have the game and web design things to do along with other business i plan to start with family. There is a legit reason to be optimistic. But i have ** years of experience in failure to tell me otherwise. I cant even glance at tv with out pain being triggered. I do want to die… at times. Other times i get to anxious/depressed to move forward. Im just realizing i have less room for error than i thought. I have some bare minimum requirements before i consider myself off the suicide hook. A revenue stream doing something i like and the ability to date on girls on a regular basis without multiyear gaps between dates. (Why did i put that there here come the get out there comments from people who havent been bullied to shit about their looks/weight by girls and dudes but fuck dudes i can stab them lol). My actual goals is to be in a healthy relationship and be completely independent financially doing a job/running a business/working in a career i love but i dont feel like my basement goals are too far out of reach.
Heres the smiths because why not