i want to die I am completely useless and worthless I can’t do shit like my mother in laws says im shit junk dumb im shit im shit . i hope i die. Worthlessness worthless worthless worthless
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Worthlessness
I don’t know why I continue living this pointless existence. I’m an idiot, nobody gives a shit about me if anything they hate me, and things will never change. I went through all of my previous facebook posts and conversations and I feel like everything I’ve said is just so fucking stupid and judging my the number of likes (1-4 max) everyone else feels the same way. This is the 3rd or 4th time I’ve been seriously suicidal and now I don’t see the point of taking medication to hide my idiocy from myself, I’m never going to have a worthwhile life. It’s only fear […]
Well we’ve all seen the red carpet show now and all the beautiful rich and talented people gathering together to congratulate themselves on their beauty, riches and talents. In the end, when the earth has burnt away, when memories have ceased, what difference does it make whether I was the neighborhood “retard” or whether I was Jennifer Lawrence. Pointless, all of it. Yes, Jennifer will have lived a life 100 thousand times better than anything I will ever experience. But one hundred years from now when we are dust, we will be the same. Dust, useless quiet dust. A huge downgrade for the winners in […]
hello. im back. ive been gone for over two years, i thought my life was going great! i wasa loved and loving, hoped for and hoping, cared about and caring… i am 18 now. im not the same scared little girl i thought i was before. im a confident young woman… or, thats wat the world thinks… thats wat everybody thinks, i mean… thats the point, right? i guess u could say that i am on the right track? i have a good job, i have all the right connections, i have all the correct scores when it comes to the life test. i have […]
angry again. why exactly i can’t really say. angry with myself, the world, everyone and everything. blah blah. that is what depression is -right? anger turned inward. self loathing. mind games where you set yourself up to fail. i will never win because i don’t believe i deserve to. i can talk a good game in therapy but that inner cynic is there to remind me of my unworthiness, worthlessness. the cynic is working hard to convince me that life isn’t all that it is cracked up to be. that i have every reason and right to tell everyone fuck you and off myself. the […]
If life is all about prosperity…!! others would suffer from worthlessness. i dont want prosperity and all the glamorous things. and also now this world is depends on things, materialistic things  &  materialists are every where. so, i have no hopes, things, dreams to live………..
Last night I went to a folk-punk show and the last person I made friends with (mentioned in the earlier post I made… not someone who will ever speak to me again. He was nice to me and I was a pretty shitty friend cuz my personality got all fucked up for two years) was there, along with two of his friends. I felt really really shitty and guilty
Everything builds character they say, every little gripe and suffocation of my personal image will just mean something more in the end. I will transcend and be greater for it. What I wouldn’t trade a bit of “character” for something resembling happiness. I am 27 and still unsure of what I am here to do every little path that i stray across simply ends with me holding the bags and the jackals growing all he louder. I know that since most humans are wrapped in their own egos, which is not a condemnation of such because it is a natural thing and should be embraced, that they see suicide as something that more or less pertains to them. So when […]
Last night, someone pointed out all my flaws. She told me about how I’m a burden to others. She gave reasons as to why it would be better if I was gone. She opposed all my life decisions. I know she has no right to tell me I’m living my life incorrectly, but I was taught to respect and listen to the thoughts of my elders.
She persuaded me to believe her. And I did.
I asked her to buy me pills so I could end my selfish activities. Instead, she called me stupid, selfish, and so many other words just because I insisted.
She then […]
8 months feeling this loneliness, I feel that the more it goes on the more my worthlessness shows. I have no one I can call a brother, not even my own. It doesn’t matter how many people I am around, I will always and forever feel alone. I start to see why, I’m worthless scum, needy for attention, at the same time I really just want a really close friend. Someone who we can be there for each other. Seems impossible at this point, I don’t see why I haven’t already just ended it. I’m stuck on the thin thread on staying and leaving this world, super-glued and hanging upside-down. I […]
My chest hurts. Everything from my chest up hurts, stressed. This guy i was dating for three months let me go cuz he disnt think he could try the distance thing anymore. He lives two hrs away and did well at seeing me every 2 weeks on the weekends and now he just couldnt believe in us anymore. Things were so great i was falling for him and he was for me too. I feel like im not worth anything. Im not worth it. Ive had so many relationships that now i feel that no one will love me. I have no one. I moved […]
Well long story short I come from a family that has made their own wealth through a private business of helping children with learning disorders. Love my family of two brothers, three sisters, and mom and dad.
The name is Gabe 19 years old. I’ve always felt like i have tried to do the right thing. Be polite, treat others nicely.Junior year of high school 2009 Â i just slipped into a huge depression sprial. Â Always kinda felt i wasn’t physically fit enough, felt guilty for how others perceived me. Â Never felt like i was there for who i thought was my friends. Always struggled in […]
I do believe I’ve begun to talk to myself as if someone else is there. I’m talking to a pretend someone who will help me with my problems. Except I woke up last night on the verge of a panic attack with just an aching feeling of grief and loneliness, hopelessness, worthlessness. I just moaned and threw myself around in circles because no matter what, the aching never left
My first post was months ago. yet I’m still here.
I have it all ready behind me, the ******** tank, the turkey oven bag, the gas regulator. I’m long past saying good byes. All I can think of is how much I miss that one person, who I will never see again. I’ve pushed everyone away, drained away every bit of money I’ve had, every bit of hope I’ve had, and now all my mind does is draw a blank.
I have people who love me, my family, my friends, even strangers who I barely know reach out to me. And the sad part is how I […]
I don’t know why I let myself fail to the point that I do. I know I can put more effort into bettering my life but every time I try putting forth any effort I am only met by failure and worthlessness. I am unable to even comply with basic day to day situations sometimes and I need to trudge through it knowing that it is only me myself who is keeping me back. I’m being pushed through a hole of the wrong shape to fit in with everything so extremely fake around me, yet had this been a different world my inferiority would have […]
A girl at work made me listen to the voicemail that her husband left her right after he slit his throat in a suicide attempt. I was shocked at the time but now that I’ve had time to process, I cannot stop thinking about it. I am extremely upset. I have attempted suicide once and no matter how happy I feel like I am on the path to becoming, always return to thoughts of worthlessness, uselessness, etc. I am just falling back into a dark place right now and was hoping to maybe at least hear from someone who understands.
Life is so impossible. I mean you look at other people, and their lives seem so great. But then I think about myself…I have nothing to live for. The feeling of worthlessness and feeling inadequate follows me everywhere.
Is it fated that I won’t be happy? All I really want is to be happy. I’m hung in a bad place, where I can’t get down from and the outlook is horrid.
My cousin did it. When he was eighteen, about a week before my fifteenth birthday. Eighteen years old. He had almost graduated high school. He was the greatest person in the entire world to me–my hero, my idol, my best friend. When he took himself away from us, I could not get it through my head. Why would he do this to us? Why would he deprive the world of his existence and leave the rest of us here to pick up the pieces? I simply could not understand.
Now that I am eighteen, I understand perfectly. He viewed the world the exact same way I […]
For the past ten years i have been struggling with depression. i don’t know when the suicidal thoughts began… i felt so alone like no one could understand what i felt the way i felt it. i could not tell anyone how i felt up until two or three years ago. and even then, nothing changed for the better for me. i always wanted everything bad to stop. all the yelling, all the drinking and drugs… everything gone. i hated the way that everyone seemed oblivious to the pain i felt and it seemed like they didn’t care enough about me to even stop and […]
Right now, I am contemplating life. What’s the point? Purpose eludes me. At this moment, I don’t see much point in going forward. My life is mediocre at best. And even if it gets better.. what is “better,” and what is it really worth? Does better mean more money? At this moment, I couldn’t care less about money. Money can’t buy happiness or love. It could buy me a house, but what would I do in it that I don’t already do (eat, sleep, bathe, find ways to entertain myself..). I could go back to school.. to do what? Get a better job to make […]
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