I feel so angry and frustrated right now, it’s ten at night and it’s another day gone down the drain I did NOTHING, I’m just so upset because neither way I’m happy I remember during the summer and early fall I was doing loads of stuff to try and overcome my depression on my own I created my own schedule I Â would exercise,draw, piano,etc but nothing helped I was bored the whole time and I wasn’t having any fun, it’s like either way I can’t be happy so there’s no point it’s like a double edged sword.
Rants
But really I don’t!I wish I did, and people tell me they are, and it seems that people want to talk to me, but I am alone. See I wanted to tell you, I have no friends! I live my life, and I know people, and those people talk to me, But they don’t care.What they care about is their ego, or their agenda. They don’t care about me or my problems.
There is this one girl. Who I like very much, and who I can sometimes confide in.
But I am that guy. That guy who is her friend. She doesn’t want to confide in me.
But […]
I don’t feel like proof-reading this. Sorry if there are any errors or unclear ideas in this text.
I’m suicidal. I’ve wanted to end my life for several years, though I’m only 19 years old. I’ve been institutionalized twice, but I only had a short recovery after both. The medication they gave me stopped working, but things got drastically worse when I stopped taking them. Now I’m back on anti-depressants and mild neuroleptica. They worked wonders for about a week, but now I’ve gradually become more and more depressed and chaotic (in my mind).
Why is it like this? Why am I so fricking depressed all the […]
“What one person sees as degrading and disgusting and bad for women might make some women feel empowered and beautiful and strong.â€
-Sasha Grey
I feel quite exhausted right now it’s four in the morning and I’m wide awake, my body is getting so  used to staying up every night. I don’t really value myself too much and I feel like it’s my petty problem that I should be able to deal with but it’s easier said than done especially today when I logged on Facebook there was a girl wanting to commit suicide and so many people were trying to help her  and just looking at it made me feel lonely and want to cry because of how much I’m hiding
If everytime I message her, I feel high, then what does it mean? What if it brings me out of numbness. What if after our talks, I end up feeling like shit. We come back to my old rants about love. I thought Nycolle was my drug, yet I just felt worse and worse the whole time.
Lucky for me there are people here who most highly likely feel the same about this kind of situation. But, the problem is my lack of long term solutions for this problem. What can I do? After breaking off what little we had? People from here tell me not […]
I am so so so suicidal. I don’t know what to do anymore, honestly. I know there are others out there who have gone through worse then me, or feel similar things. but it’s like, the people who should care the most about me don’t. No one does. Even my best friend. When I try venting to them, I swear I just come off as whiny. and I have random people always saying, ‘Im here for you!’ and I apprecate that, but it’s not the same.
maybe I don’t want to be saved? I feel as if I was born for self destruction. Yoou know? It’s […]
Hello, just ranting on about my life.
I am committing suicide soon. I have wanted to commit suicide for a long time (10+ years), but I am at the point now where I know I can kill myself.
The reason I know is that I have been doing things that I would have never done before over the past two or so years. I have forced myself out of my comfort zone, had a ton of experiences I would have never had otherwise, and learnt a lot. One of the things I have learnt is the ability to just DO IT (pls don’t sue).
I said fuck it. […]
I’m the youngest of seven kids. The baby, the brat, the drama queen, the outcast.. you name it, they’ve called me it. Everybody says it’s just because they’re my older siblings and they’re suppose to tease me, but this goes beyond that. They’ve hurt me physically, emotionally, verbally.. Once again, you name it, they’ve done it. I worshiped the ground my second oldest brother walked on. He was my hero and my idol. He spit in my face when his girlfriend came along. He left me with my drug addict mother who let her boyfriend and her ‘customers’ do whatever they wanted to me. She knew, and […]
I told my mom I was going to join the military and go into combat. She was so pissed. She said I was basicly just getting in a line to go get killed..she just doesn’t know how many times I’ve attepted to kill myself at home…
Twice in the past week I’ve tried to hang myself.
How naive of me, to think it would be so easy?! Yeah, it’ll be painful but I’ll only feel it for 5minutes I thought. I even got the right measurements for an immediate neck break and everything. (thanks to an anonymous website)
Yet I am stopped by the simplest things. The first time nearly happened spontaneously in a toilet cubicle at school …okay that sucked. I got interrupted by a fucking teacher anyway. T_T
Then I tried in my bedroom when no-one was around. And the peg snapped. I was so close. Instead I tried hanging myself lying […]
I’m going to take a break. So I won’t be on this site for a while. I won’t post anything or comment. I don’t know for how long. Maybe 2 days, maybe 2 weeks, maybe 2 months. I just don’t know. I am coming back, I guess, don’t know what’s going to happen in the next days… Love you all guys!! <3 Just need a break, although I find a lot of strength and understoodment at this site.
Please, everybody on this site, keep fighting, stay strong and believe in yourself!! Love you <3!
My boyfriend of almost one year, the only guy I’ve ever loved, told me he couldn’t handle my issues anymore and broke up with me. He says he can’t handle me hurting myself and hating myself. I told him I just could help it…the worst part about this whole thing is I can’t cry…I’m too numb to cry. If he’s tired of me hurting myself then why did he break up with me? I’m just going to do it worse now…
I’m just so tired of feeling this way. No one cares about me and I have np reason to live. I’m tried of waking up […]
I haven’t writen here in a while. A lot has happened…well I guess you could say that. My depression has gotten to a point where I don’t care about anything anymore. I don’t want to get up in the mornings or go anywhere. I’ve lost intrest in everything that used to be inportant to me. Understands why I feel this way. If I tell them, they change the subject.
I’ve began to cut again…this time more often and more at a time. My boyfriend says I need to stop before I go to far…honestly I don’t care if I go too far. He never talks to […]
I’m not trying to be a dick or anything, but it’s just a moment’s revelation that is slowly turning my life around right now and I thought it would be nice to share and get the ideas of other people.We, the ones on this site, usually have no meaning in life, think ourselves a failure, have had (to many different levels) experienced traumatic events or had our lives ruined by someone or thing, and are now seemingly left without many options. Our lives cannot, and will not get better. It will always be like this.
But, HAVE YOU ACTUALLY TRIED TO FIX THINGS? Of course, […]
I’m saving myself the time of writing my entire story. It’s a long one. The change in my life the loss only just happening 1 year ago this month. I’ve posted my story here once before, it was about half way through. While things have continually gotten much worse since I haven’t been this concerned with how things are going to play out. I’m at the end of having any real choice on how I leave. I’m about ready to just drink as much antifreeze as possible. I’m scared honestly to live and scared to feel any more pain. The antifreeze while painful I wouldn’t […]
I honestly don’t know where to begin. I know this isn’t where I thought I would be, at 34. Writing an anonymous blog about how the scope of my life suddenly seems meaningless.  I’m tired of smiling on the outside when I’m crying on the inside. I’m tired of helping people through all their misery and pain, yet they forget to help me when I’m in need. I’m tired of work, and the stress it has caused me — but I’ve gone too far. I’m too accomplished that leaving would cause all the would-be supporters to clamor, “you’re such an idiot for throwing away your career.” […]
I cant bring myself to tell anyone. The one person i love enough to tell doesnt listen. Maybe he listens but doesnt want to know. I hate myself and the life i have. But its not a bad life which makes it so much worse. I have tried to kill myself by cutting when i was a preteen but was so chicken shit i only gave a little scratch. Then as i got older i turned to pills for the pain. Overdosing did nothing but send me off to fitfull bouts of bad dreams only to wake up with a pounding headache. As a side […]
So I’ve been thinking about doing it (suicide). All day, every day, every year. And the only thing that’s really stopping me is fear of hell.
Is hell real?
I just can’t risk going to a place where I’ll suffer MORE than I’m already suffering now.
What do you guys think, is there a hell? If you commit suicide, do you go to it? Or do you just stop feeling anything… like before you were born, complete noexistance of the mind body and soul?
and don’t worry, your answers are not going to make me do it.
I know that Trevor isn’t worth it. But he is.. I know something about him. Something that hardly anyone else knows. He has problems at home.. And it makes me so furious at his parents for treating him like they do. See, the thing is, I don’t think he said all that shit that Emily said he did. He’s been staring at me all day, then turning away, blushing. I put my hands on my hips once when he looked at me, though… I don’t care if he’s mad at me, though. He can deal with it. And if he did say all that stuff, […]