Sometimes I feel the most alone person in the world. No friends and no one who cares about me. My mother is a fanatic religious who doesn’t accept me as a woman and keeps insisting on treating me a way a hate. She knows I hate it and that makes me feel even more sad, but she doesn’t care. She won’t chance because of her imaginary friend. I tried so hard to be well this year, to feel better, but I keep walking in circles, always ending where I began. Last week I felt that wish to cut myself again after one year and I’m […]
Category:
Chronic Pain
People hate me, no one likes me. When they see my face they spit on ground. I didn’t harm anyone, but i don’t know why people hate me. I dont want to live in this world. Why only bad things are happening with me. Good bye everyone.
I can’t recognize myself in the mirror , have no money to buy drugs that cure me, no friends , everyone I now used me , my family used me , my family did hurrible things to me , things I can’t say , or remember , I lost my memories , I don’t remember who I was , can’t say who I am now , I have no future , all the things in my life was someone’s else plan , I never did or sayed the things I want , I always react as they want me , I could killed for stupid […]
Its not me
Its me
I want me
Its not me
I hate me
Its me
I love me
Its not me
This place that I dont belong to
Where is the place I belong to
No one care about me
The good deed I did
The other receive the happiness
Me?
No one remember me
Why?
A?
A?
You dont belong here
Dont you hear me?
The hell is your place to go
You hate everyone in this world
You hate yourself
No one care about you
No one love you
You are like satan
Since a kid you are just..
Satan
Useless
Till now..
Be normal..
You […]
I’ve struggled for years but I still have a habit of dismissing myself insisting “It’s not that bad”.
I compare myself now to the way I was when I was likely in psychosis a few years ago.
I’ve only cried 3 times today….I could have cried for hours non stop.
I’m only scoring 48/76 on depression assessments… I’ve scored 56/86 before.
I’m over eating but I could be living on nothing it cookie dough again.
I’m getting 3-5 hours of sleep a night max but I could be running on 1 or less like I have in the past.
I know I’m not “healthy” and that […]
I’m over this life of mine…
I am working on ways to end my pain that I live with daily. I am slowly planning my suicide leaving no room for error because I need the attempt to work. I first of all need to draw up a will and have it legalised. That way all money from my super etc. goes to my husband for him to be able to support our children.
I can’t live with how I am feeling for much longer….just recently I have had family humiliate me and make me feel so worthless I know I am better off dead.
I can’t do this […]
I don’t want to be ‘sick’ anymore or at least well enough I can resemble the things I want to be. Who I am is not my desire.
I’d like to work but I’m beyond just pushing myself and I’ve been denied disability.
I want to be the super mom I believed in but I’m not well enough.
I want to be able to stay with my significant other and not cry or have flashbacks about things he had nothing to do with.
I want to be all love and light.
I want to be so many things but my illness stands in my way. […]
Pain is normal and those of us experiencing chronic pain on a never ending basis know how hard it is to make friends, keep friends. Im lonely, and made a friendship, which turned out to nothing but lies. It took the edge off and gave me a chance to breathe. Now more lies has even shattered the way i would ignore everything just because I was so desperate for company and the distraction.now it’s over i’m finding the pain is worse, my whole body has tightened up, I grit my teeth so hard I break them. I want to give up on this shit life […]
I can not get over it, that things will never be fair. I’m too sensitive about everything. I’m in chronic pain and Doctors could never help me. Or maybe I think I just couldn’t help myself. For 9 years I’m into this Depression and it just got worse. It started early in school, that I realized that something was not right. About me and the tiring reality to go to school everyday. Other Kids seemed so careless. I came too late everyday. It started with 5 Minutes, then 10, then 30 and sometimes I missed the first period. I think I must be a broken […]
My mindset hasn’t changed since January, I still envision myself not existing anymore but I’ve gained more sorrow because I’m around my family more. It gives me guilt, makes me feel so selfish. For once I just wish I could envision being where I feel is home and building the life I’ve missed out on. I wish there was nothing wrong with me and I wish I was strong enough for my family and for my husband. I want to be better. Its almost, December.
I’m in that point of life when I could no longer feel the sadness, no longer feel the pain. I could no longer feel anything. Its like I’m just numb. Just drifting into the darkness that had broken me more times that I could count. So much pain, I wished for it all to disappear. I wanted to escape, because I am too much a coward to face it. I guess I got my wish, then.
She was drunk. Doesn’t that make it my fault? She was raped before. That’s the only reason she did it. She wouldn’t have done it to me if it wasn’t done to her. She was too drunk to know what she was doing and it wasn’t her fault, right? And God will condemn me for adultery and homosexuality. She’s taken any chance of heaven away from me. She stripped me of any hope for a future. There is nothing after this. Not even death could let me escape this hell. It’s never going to end and I am going to continue to be tortured by […]
My name is Taylor. I’m 26 years old and I am an autistic atheist who questions his sexuality. I am turned on by all genders yet I have no desire whatsoever to engage in sexual intercourse. I live in the deep south, Georgia to be exact, and I hate every second of it.
What happened to this world? When did it get to the point where I found that this planet is nothing but a cancer cell on the universe? I used to be so happy and carefree until I became an adult, now it’s just never-ending misery. I’ve been abused since childhood by other people […]
to know I love the deaths creation.
but any of is for bme a taboo subject
so so don’t sing the deaths of. also I did.
this can’t be excused to some,
as strangers. maybe is takes a toll of relief..
but I’d stick to what I know as stranger.
and any must be alive. and that can be noone..
Life is boring , Reality is boring , real life is boring , real world is boring
by niki
written by niki
Especially when you’ve realized that nothing we do here in reality will ever compare to our imaginations. And no, I’m not talking about petty, shallow, superficial, & stupid imaginations like most people only have with their simple-minded brains. I’m talking about all those best fantasy movies, games, novels, comic books, anime/manga, etc, with all their magic, superpowers, & magical, fantasy, adventurous world/universe with its limitless, unlimited possibilities.
Fuck this reality.
Reality is boring, stupid, & depressing.
reality is boring , life is boring ,
it’s all about money
i hate money
i hate business
i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books
I […]
You don’t need to tell me all the reason I should hate myself. I already know them. I repeat them to myself every night with nootropics to keep me awake and kicking. Kicking myself for being a failure, for not doing anything right. For never being enough.
I try to do everything right. I read the textbooks, look over my notes, do the work. I could not work for an entire MONTH, an entire 30 DAYS, and I would STILL be advanced in my classes. because I work hard. I “grind” and “hustle” everyday. But unless I haven’t walked in the snow in nothing but flip […]
I’m not going to lie to you.
Sometimes i wish I could just fade out right here and now.
Im not going to pretend that I think life is one big open door.
And no no I don’t need you to tell me there is so much worth living for.
Because I won’t believe that yet.
I mean with the hatred and rigidity and sorrow and cruelty,
And how everyone thinks they’re right.
And well, I’ve heard it so much,
The arguments and rants of our parliaments
That I no longer believe any of us got it right.
And it’s slightly annoying that we’re so petty.
But not nearly as annoying as sad.
And you can call […]
“Suffrage is the pivotal right.”
Susan B. Anthony
“Independence is happiness.”
Susan B. Anthony
“There is one thing higher than Royalty: and that is religion, which causes us to leave the world, and seek God.”
Elizabeth I
“I was walking along a
road one evening – on one side lay the city, and below […]
I’ve tried, but to no avail. Sadness turns the merry bleak, and all will fade
written by sansfranzdeput
I am tired; I am worn: my eyes falter, and fail, wishing of and seeing only what I’ll never have- a lover: one of with whom I would love with, love things, make love, and care for love. I lust with myself to faceless women with wordless mouths and tear-less eyes. After all things, my heart is well traveled; for, despite not finding love as of yet, it seems as though emotions can be harmed without being brought out to the light. This makes me bitter: my lips let my tongue out, to speak vile things to innocent and unsuspecting family members and odd and […]
I just fucked up today. I’m pretty sure I just ruined my relationship with my family. In all honesty, I hope they do hate me. I feel like I deserve it. Maybe this event will finally cement the idea that they raised a failure and they’ll just give up on me. So now, I’m writing this, as a way to publicly humiliate myself in a way that won’t make me a public nuisance. To tell everyone exactly what makes me such a piece of shit.
Honestly, I don’t know where to start. There’s so much wrong with me, putting into words how fucked up I am […]