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What/when were some times when you felt really happy?
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Something I think about a lot is unavoidable suffering, what you might call “existentially necessary suffering”. There’s the suffering that’s caused by our own minds, or inflicted on us by other people, which we can imagine might easily by relieved by a change in fortunes. But then there’s the suffering that’s “built-in” to the fabric of reality. The children born with agonizing degenerative illnesses. The animals doomed to be slowly torn to pieces in a competition for survival. The suffering that was in some senses required for this world, with all it’s beauty and wonder, to exist. You can think of it as “natural evil” […]
I don’t feel good. It’s like humans are always mean, angry.
Do you think that life/human experience will suck forever?
I believe that in the near future the human experience will be better because of some advancements in different areas. Or maybe it will still suck.
I’m not well. I wish all of it would stop. I know I’m weak. It just hurts. Life is shit. I’m just as bad. I’m too weak and pathetic to do anything about it. I’m useless. My life or death is meaningless. All of it is meaningless. I wish I could stop fucking everything up, I wish I could be more helpful when needed. I wish I was worth the love I’m given. I wish I wasnt so worthless. Wishes are meaningless.
I should stop complaining, I’m too much of a coward do anything anyway. Pathetic little coward. It would be better if people didnt have […]
Went to see a house today. A flat. I liked it. It’s enough for me. Though it’s not even a bhk, it’s a bk or an hk depending on what you call the main area. A room, a bathroom, a kitchen. And a balcony. I love balconies. That’s the main reason I liked it, that’s what differentiates it from where I currently live. Wish it had a natural view but I like seeing activities on street too. The nearby area has plenty of natural view, probably because it’s near to railway line. Anybody knows how’s sound of train 200 meter away from it?
Anything bigger is […]
*insert evil maniacal Mr. Burns laugh*
Everyone always says shit like “I wouldn’t wish it on my enemy.” Well I DO. I DO wish “it” on my enemy. And every single person that has NO sympathy, no empathy, no compassion or NO CLUE as to how being sick means I can’t do things anymore, how I can’t function anymore.
I wish I could give ppl a taste of what my health problems are like, for ppl to FEEL it, and have NO WAY OUT like I don’t. Go and tell me to “journal” or “think happy” one more fucking time.
I haven’t had any real sleep since my car accident. No, I was not driving, I was a fucking pedestrian.
Whatever the car accident did, caused me to be unable to have deep REM sleep, so I’ve been chronically tired ever since then. As you can imagine, I’m fucking tired and exhausted and I just want to fucking SLEEP!!! If I could stab someone and if that meant I’d be able to sleep again, I’d fucking do it.
I literally have not a single night of REAL sleep since then. It’s been 14 years. And no, it’s not due to “stress” […]
Story timeee
So, I got in the car after school ended, like usual, and my school does professional dress Mondays so I’m wearing a skirt. Well long story short, someone said bye to me so I looked back at them and apparently my skirt when up too high and when I sat down in the backseat my mom just looks and at and she says, “are you cutting?” anyways since she already saw them on my thighs, there’s no denying it so I just didn’t say anything. Also, its my stepbrothers birthday, and birthdays are supposed to be fun but idek with this one. The whole […]
someone would either help me or just put me out of my misery.
Or are we destined for a life of chronic depression till death eventually does us in?
if there is one peculiar thing, it’s how celebrity suicides are handled. We were talking earlier about the note and the utility of framing your own death. Well Tom T. Hall didn’t leave a note. No one definitively knows why this 85 year old man killed himself.
In fact, it didn’t come out until well after that it even was a suicide. And that is the note that EVERY STORY ABOUT IT covers… OMG he was a country music legend, and isn’t it sad etc etc etc
Country music and depression go hand in hand in the United States, I don’t get how any country star dying […]
My ex c**t girlfriend hit me with a domestic violence when I just trying to help her find a place so she didn’t have to sleep outside homeless and pregnant. Now I’m F***ED. I have a prior facing a F4. I got pre-trial. I can’t afford a attorney and got a public. Well anyways, what would you do? Fight it and it probably get convicted, or take a s**t plea deal of no prison time but you got a F4 you can’t expunge. Anyways, its 16 months in prison and 5 grand fine as the max. 6 months minimum because […]
There was a tale about a boy and a girl. They were both close friends who became closer over time. She was not interested in love or any type of meaningful relationship since she was not interested in these things. But, that guy was a sweet, compassionate, and overall wonderful person who professed his emotions for her over the phone.
She had no idea what he was up to since she considered him as a friend-zoned individual. Yet her feelings began to grow and she was in a steady and matured state. They began conversing and got to know one another better and better. Their love […]
Well there you have it folks, that’s what I have. It has made it to wikipedia. The term needs to be made more commonplace bc at least HALF if not the majority of depressed ppl suffer from this shit, and it’s why we’re depressed.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shit_life_syndrome
“Shit life syndrome (SLS) is a phrase used by physicians in the United Kingdom and the United States for the effect that a variety of poverty or abuse-induced disorders can have on patients.”
Is that term used much in the US though? This is the first time I’ve ever heard this term.
this godawful feeling of hopelessness, of despair, of depression. I can’t shake it. It’s like a shadow, with me 24-7. It is me, and I am it.
I’ve been trying to find a way to frame it and wrap my head around this whole thing. For me there are two critical spectrums in a job; ethics and compensation. Less ethics should equal greater compensation, seems like a given. More ethics, less compensation.
Except I’ve worked for some of the most morally bankrupt people…. and I’m broke…. it’s not like I had any kind of luxury lifestyle. And I can’t afford to work somewhere that I find morally rewarding anymore either.
It kind of built up for me, I watch a lot of movies where the main character is a hit man. Like, if that […]
and get anything at all done. been like that for 3 months. like, what a useless shit i’ve been. can’t even get the smallest thing done.
Feel so lethargic and fatigued. Have ZERO energy to do anything. I have to drag myself to pee and shower, let alone actually DOING something.
I feel a bit lonely. And tired. And sad. And gross haha. But anyway.
Sometimes I worry that the people that I care deeply for and who care for me are people I’ve made up in my head, and that really scares me. I dont know what I’d do if I found out the few people who loved me were imaginary and nothing I knew of was real. But I think that way a lot. It scares me.
Today was… meh. Nothing great but not the worst. I didnt get up for a long time, maybe that’s part of it. We (meaning my sister and I) cleaned […]
I don’t know what to do.
Suicide hotlines and chats do NOT work for me.
Going to a mental health hospital does NOT work for me (gone 3x in the past).
Therapists do not work for me (unless by miracle I actually find a good one), which takes YEARS or DECADES to find so that’s not happening.
Thinking positive, thinking happy thoughts, meditation, yoga, going for a walk- does NOT work for me.
Online depression groups haven’t helped either.
All anyone can do is “listen” and you type out words and people read it. It only does so much. Great if you just need to vent […]