For general topics related to the site.
Idk how to flip my pic but whatever. Just feelin myself now that im working again. 3rd shift is rough but im good at it once im back into the swing of things. My therapist keeps trippin out about my already existing sleeping problem. Im like i barely sleep at nite anyways, i always take a nap durin the day anyways. So i had them stop my sleepin pills. Red bulls and naps are my life lol any1 […]
Feeling utterly stupid and worthless, I’ve been with my fiancé for more than a year now and a few months ago I found out he had been lying to me for most of our relationship then found out he cheated on me with his ex wife first then after everything seemed to go back to normal and he was regaining my trust I found out he cheated on me with one of his oldest friends all while I was pregnant I’ve had our daughter now and everything was beyond great open communication trust was back just a few bad dreams here and there then I […]
normal people dont hear voices.
normal people dont see things that arent there.
normal people dont have self-inflicted scars on their wrist.
normal people dont destroy everything they touch.
being “different”, “unique”…
isnt always a good thing
it’s all just getting worse. it’s been a downhill spiral for so many years.
every single time i think something’s going to get better, even just a little bit, i’m slapped in the face and things get worse. it doesn’t matter if i hope a little or a lot for things to get better, or if it seems like there’s a way out – i try to take that way and i only fall further downhill.
i can’t afford to live. no one will hire me. i can’t do physical jobs because of my disability, i can’t handle college, i’m too mentally ill for most jobs, i’ve […]
I don’t want to live, but I don’t want to die. Sometimes I picture myself running away from my life. All my responsibilites, from school, from home and all my friends. I wish I was invisible, i wish people wouldnt acknowledge me. I want to be here without actually having to be here. I want to live in a dream where I never have to wake up. Can anyone save me from this madness?
Day by day, time seems to be going unbearably slowly, but looking at the big picture, the years went by without me noticing.
I’ve turned 21 recently, and accomplished very little, almost nothing since I got out of high school and I feel a lot of shame about it, but not in a motivating way,
It’s impossible not to think how I will never be able to be the person I could have been because I’ve wasted my time.Or should I say that it’s been stolen away from me? I lost it? Being stuck in the past, I’ve been rewinding years of my life, and […]
Anyone else feel like they’re constantly being targeted by assholes? Manipulators, users, narcissists, etc. I feel like bc I’m vulnerable, I’m like blood in water that attracts sharks. Bad people are great at sniffing out vulnerable/weak/nice people to take advantage of. People are always trying to use me or take advantage of me in some way. Or try to control me (narcs). And I’m fucking sick and tired of it.
My whole life bad things happen to me over and over and over again. Move to a new city? Same shit. Get rid of all the bad people I […]
I wish i was still keeping a blade in my pocket. At work when i got an inch on my wrist that i cant “scratch”. Ill deal with it later im sure.
I need to be getting new ones anyway.
Still the honor roll!!!! This was a post from obviously a while ago. These people meant a lot to me back in that time. I was actually getting back on to see if these people are still active on this site currently by any chance?
SP Honour Roll
written by @
12/23/2014
Bisban (Morlock)
Clevername
CyanidesOfMarch
C4 (and his various aliases)
Dawg
DeathDreamer
Distant.Road
Distress
Duke of Marmalade
Koji
Nias
OnlyLoveisReal
PainNLife
Persa (and her various aliases)
Procel
Quaero
RealTalk30
Rocketman (and the Hot Tub Gang)
RogueShadow (I forget the numerals)
Searchingformeaning
Shepherd (RogueLonesome)
Snuf (and his various aliases)
Stendarr (and her various prefixes and affixes)
StruggleOn
Thanatos (and his various aliases)
Tristeza
TheWhispersOfMySins
Xanadu (and his various aliases)
Sometimes I come around, and watch from afar, all you people who speak up, all these pain and hopelessness. The unheard and not understood people. The ones trying to keep the hope in others. We all been through some rough shit. BUT ! I wonder if you guys realize, how strong you all are.
Most humans on earth have a common life, with small bumps but they just slip over the hardships and never truly stare into the darkness. I believe, the ones here, clinging into that small hope, and still keep to move on, no matter how small or pointless it seems, that you all […]
I am what I am and what I am is what triggers how I feel, I feel like I’m chained to this catastrophic period aka life.
Being slow, stupid, ugly means I’ll forever be subjected to rejection, judgment, bullying and sadness.
People constantly tell me to believe in myself but question is for what reason? It’s only sensible to believe in something for a reason, it would be dilusional to believe that you can flap your arms and fly.
I still don’t have what my heart desires, and all I desire is comfort, security, my own family respect, my limitations ensured that […]
Anyone here into gaming? There’s this app called Parsec that allows you to remotely share your PC and I’ve been looking for people to play a few PlayStation 2 games with. I figured if you’re suicidal, not being bored might help. Idk. I’m not actively suicidal anymore. I stopped seeing the point of coming to this place since it’s obvious wasn’t going to do it any time soon. Anyways leave a response if you want to play or have any game suggestions and have a functioning controller of some kind.
10 bottles of pills. Either have a seizure, enter an induced coma or die. All seems fine with me. Sounds peaceful. What if I fail again? That was a shit show.
Nothing left to do on my list. Just need to wait until it’s time. I’m proud of myself. I’m proud of how hard I’ve tried.
It’s not my fault that I was hurt as child. Over and over and over again. It’s not my fault I couldn’t ask for help because I didn’t know how. It’s not my fault that what happened broke me and I could never find a way to make any relationships. I did the best that I could do and it is all I can ask of myself.
I know its wrong of me. I know my friends are going to worry about me. But i almost kinda like not eating. Ill look down at my stomach and like it for once….
I just want to be able to go to school in 2 weeks being confident in myself, but I can’t get any decent advice, in any discord server I do ask for advice in I get banned, nobody knows what the fuck they are talking about, and I think I am going to end up like my aunt Jackie, and I have sworn that I will do anything to not have a life even remotely close to as bad as hers is, even if it means not having one at all, I’ve got 2 years until I am an adult in the eyes of the […]
I just me Bae…
Hello,
I Haven’t been on here lately as I have been trying to be a productive member of society again. It hasn’t been easy nor has it really made me feel any better about myself or about my life. I just ended up doing the same thing I did prior in life, I just bottled up my feelings, emotions, and thoughts. Then I carried on as usual until I couldn’t anymore, the feelings, emotions, and thoughts becoming unbearable again. I have realized that I do have support from God and “His Universe”. This “Faith” has gotten me further than I could have ever […]
I was convinced i dreamt this website
Some sick depressed fever dream
An ill lonely teen looking to relate to people
I sunk so low
I still do
My scars scabbed through shame
But you heal
Still fragile, broken, cracked, but still healing
Which sounds like some cringe-y crap
Fuck, Ill be so-called ‘healing’ till the day i die
But
I have to make peace with that
It’s been a minute since I’ve posted anything on here. I thought that meant I was getting better, but here I am again. But I think I need to talk about this.
Honestly, I’m starting to worry that I’m all doing this for attention. The whole “being depressed” thing. I mean, I’ve wanted to die for almost a decade and what do I have to show for it? Maybe I’m subconsciously trying to manipulate people into feeling sorry for me. That thought makes me feel physically ill, but my pattern of behavior does seem to suggest this. It seems like every suicide attempt I […]
Just Venting. I’m so sad. Saw my sister for the first time in a year. She’s expecting her first child. I’m glad for her, but it reminds me that I will never be a father. I don’t even want a family right now, but it’s knowing it’s not even an option that hurts.
What I want is a partner (at least some of the time). But I’m so far away from being capable of that. Even if I could somehow deceive someone into caring for me, and find someone that could stand to be around me 24/7, it’s not something I could do to someone […]
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