General

still unable to make titles on posts.
SP ADMINS: please fix, thanks.

-edit:
i finally tried a workaround a commenter posted below, but it shouldn’t be this complicated just to put a title on our posts.
-edit:
also unable to show paragraph breaks in our posts on the main SP page. it will show when we are editing it and when you click on our post, but not on the main page. It shows everyone’s posts without the paragraph breaks, so all our words appear to be one long paragraph.

i am 30 years old from New york queens. Gambling ruined my life along with a toxic relationship that completely sucked out my personality and changed me. Because of gambling, depression, and that relationship i now literally have no personality. I feel like i make people uncomftorable being around me because im always quite and barely talk and people notice that they tell me. Anyways ive been thinking about suicide for years im done living this way. im done being depressed and lonely and feeling misunderstood. I am officially done waking up everyday wanting to end my life and falling asleep everyday wanting to end […]

Yeah, basically I’m sick of being sick. I don’t want my life anymore. I don’t want to talk about it, I know it can’t change. I don’t want someone telling me I’m loved or wanted because it’s a fucking lie.

I have no one. These support lines are bullshit. All I want is a fast way out of my body. I don’t want to be here anymore.

I keep reading articles about people successfully completing and I just want to know how they did it. Am I stupid for not knowing how? Am I just a coward? How hard is it […]

Three weeks ago, on July 4th, I published a good-bye post here as I prepared to take my life. Obviously, I didn’t do it.

To be blunt, I chickened out. After postponing for two days due to rain, I just lost my nerve. I was afraid of the pain. I planned to hang myself, and the pain of asphyxiation terrified me. Of course, I was afraid of death itself as well. Even when the death was my choice, I still feared it.

I’m planning to try it again. I’ve found a painless way to do it this time, which will be ready in a few days. Yet, […]

Coping mechanism

My depression has manifested from a long list of problems i have in my life and often feels too overwhelming to deal with. Although my depression is hard to deal with, i do try to cope with my depression as best as i can by indulging in my usual hobby’s (playing guitar, piano and writing songs).

But since a year ago i gained a perhaps peculiar interest…i became interested in mathematics as a hobby! Never thought it would spark my interest since i have not had proper math lessons during elementary and high school. I was never properly taught how to do fractions, percentages, long […]

I’m considering leaving this website , it doesn’t look I get any benefits by talking with suicidal or unsuisidal people at all , I will consider other options , what I realised is that talking is the worst way out when it comes to suicide issues ,  at least for me , sign off.

::going through the motions::

Today it occurs to me that my heart isn’t in anything these days. I applied for some jobs this week, not that such a thing would solve my problems, but money is the fuel that makes my world go. I need quite a bit of it to buy my freedom.

My parents are cutting down how much they help me. Accountability they say, I know what it is, they want me to go earn an income. I would if I knew how folks, but I don’t, and am very frustrated at the disproportionate punishment such ignorance brings. I studied for six years, did […]

It is time for the  media controlled by regressive thinkers and billionaires to shut up , this also apply to the regressive people who don’t have problem to lose years of their lifes and freedom in their luxury houses , it is not a surprise that the icu overwhelmed in certain seasons , death rate by covid is high  only when you are old or have immune system problems , so if there is lockdowns or someone support them stay at home while we are the others taking decisions about our health , we are capable human beings don’t need politics to control every aspect  […]

Hello everyone… This is my first post. It’s good to see that there is a forum dedicated to our shared interest. I’m not depressed or impulsive, but I think often about the topic of taking my own life. I’m a young 54 years old. I’m actually successful by most standards. I own my own car, my own home, two small businesses, and I enjoy composing music and singing, exercising, and eating healthy. I don’t smoke, drink, or take drugs. I’m in good health, pain-free, and debt-free.

I loved the story of Lisette Gabrielle Nigot in Mademoiselle and the Doctor. Her story really touched my heart. I […]

But there is no easy way to go !!
At best, with a train I have less chance to miss myself if I only put my head and not the body over the track.
But I dont want to disapear and leave a melon head exploded behind…
And poison is too painfull apperently !! Sad because I have a mortal plant that I could eat, but again it’s too painfull…
Jumping from high enough would be hard, there is no high enough arround here even in the big city… And I will end like with the train, a smashed thing on the floor. So pretty…

lethal death.
deadly death.
death death death
death death death death.

i hope you hate my poem.
this is my peak form.

I just want to go. Can’t handle all this misery… 🙁
Seems I can’t add a title to posts on my phone anymore. Not sure about my computer, haven’t tried it.
🙁

Does anyone here live in New York? I really need to talk to someone (no pro lifers please.)

1 of my top 5 fav albums to drive to when my thoughts get wild. Theyre so loud in this 1 that it keeps my voices at bay. Plus every song has a great beat.

I feel like I’m on the verge of falling. I can’t hold on to this rope anymore. I’m tired. Perhaps. It’s about time. I should let it go. It’s time already.

We all die alone. More or less. Maybe someone is there to hold your hand at the end. But you are alone in experiencing death. It’s scary, but it’s the same for everyone.

What I’m doing is living alone, for however long I live, and that fact makes me so much sadder. I will never connect with anyone. I will never care for anyone. I will never let anyone into my life. If I live a normal lifespan, no one will come to my funeral.

It’s such a waste. But I just can’t. I can’t be real with anyone, ever. I can’t be ‘myself’, because ‘myself’ is […]