General

I find myself thinking of suicide all day long in everything I do. I read online about a guy who tied a rope around his neck and to a stationary object and got in his car and drove off decapitating himself. I think this would be a painless and quick way to go however I would feel badly for the person who finds me afterwards. Does anyone have ideas on how to end it without traumatizing innocent people?

I would give you my background but I am not looking for anyones pity or for anyone to talk me out of it. There […]

Suicide is not an option, but it does not stop the thoughts from creeping back into my mind. The feeling of not belonging is so strong that it haunts me constantly. I am here because it seems cruel to remove myself from the people who love me. My mother who loves me and raised me would be devastated if I was to die, it would not be fair to her if I killed myself when she worked so hard for me to stay safe.
A god seems so unrealistic but at the same time I would be a fool not to believe, but what exactly […]

“‘What a waste of time,’ the thought crossed my mind, but I never missed a beat.. I once had a grip on everything, it feels better to let go.. I’m not over, I’m not over you just yet. Can not hide it, you’re not that easy to forget..”
-Carolina Liar

You’re not. Easy to forget that is. I mean christ, I planned my entire happy fucking future with you in every single moment.
I’m still going to write, and I’ll still move to Arizona. I’ll still go to college, and I’ll still travel to every single place I can think of in the world. Now though, […]

The first time I admit that I was suicidal, was not the same as my first attempt.  Early attempts were unceremonious in nature and involved a handful of pills with a prayer to remove the pain. I awoke a day (sometimes two) later and noted that it had not been enough and decided that I would need more the next time around.

When I spoke the words for the first time, it was not a cry for help but merely a statement to the agony and despair running through my body. The cops were responsive and sent me to the medical unit. The treatment of crayons […]

An overview as to the main experience that led to my suicidal desires.

 

This site…its changed me.

My new dark obssession…

I thought I was messed before I joined,

Studying the paranormal, my fascination with eyes and such,

but no, this site has me on making these little rants because I hurt.

Because I want people to know how messed up I am.

Neglected, taunted, teased, degraded, heart broken

This is what has happened to me in the past year.

Not much to some of you but this is what created my downwords spiral.

Something tells me that I should just shut up and stop complaining…

Well this is a picture of me, you may think I look normal, but I’m far from it.

My peers are all supermodels […]

Everyday I wake up and wish that I hadn’t. I’ve felt this way since I was at least 15, I am now 27. I’m on anti depressants, but they don’t seem to help much. My family ignores more. My mother belittles everyone in our house and I often wonder how my father has stayed with her all these years. I’m scared that I will slowly turn into her and that thought is always with me. What if I wake up one day and am as mean and as hypocritical as her. It seems like everything I do is […]

 

This is messed up.

How am I meeting so many kind and intelligent people on this site, and yet they are troubled?

Things aren’t always what they seem.

But still, so many kind people willing on giving up their lives.

What has this evil and cruel world come too?

All the good fading and the evil rising…

If anyone ever needs to talk about anything at all don’t be shy, please email me and we can talk about anything at all, if you need help I will gladly give it.

I may be only 15 but I’m told I give good advice.

Here’s my email: leaffan64@hotmail.com

Don’t be shy or embarressed about what […]

You mother fucker you take every thing away . I loved my father i was daddys little girl , he was going to surprise us for thanksgiving , and christmas you mother fucker I want to go. How come you cant take me too , you mother fucker take me from this Earth. Make my family hert more then you already made them you mother fucker. […]

I just dont want to live anymore,

Im 17, i live in this village, which i can not get out of, without £4.50  or lifts from my parents.. and i have no job , so im pretty much stuck in here 24/7 and i have to stay in the bathroom because i share a room with my sister and my house is tiny, and i dont really get on with my sister and my rooms DISGUSTING. it just makes me so angry.. i cant escape.

I feel like “my friends” dont actually care about me.. like if i say yeah i have had a bad day or […]

i have always been a weird person and i have never been able to explain myself to other people properly. i’ve therefore developed an instinct of looking “normal” in my day to day life and keeping my own feelings and opinions to myself all the time so that e.g. i won’t be bullied at school, i won’t be shunned by my colleagues at work, i won’t be scolded by my parents etc.. i also never trusted people easily due to bad memories and experiences, mostly due to ex-boyfriends that i was stupid enough to open up to only to be turned down and dumped or […]

Twenty five years on and nothing seems to have changed. I am 46 this year and yet I feel as I did at 21, still confused, still frightened, still lost. Depression has consumed so much of my life and despite treatment, despite therapy, despite all, continues to dominates all; now exhausted I consider taking my life. Why not ? Well there are a thousand reasons but nine of them seem to count in the morning when the fear seems to be at it’s worst. I stagger about wanting only to end the pain and yet could I go through with it ? My father killed […]

I don’t know what to do anymore… I have been dating the same girl for the past five years on and off… I cheated on her twice being dumb… After I realized what I had she had already started dating my best friend to get me back… They lasted about a month and then she came back to me and the relationship went on… Over the next couple years we were planning to move out and get married and start new lives together… Recently she started treating me real bad giving me an attitude all the time when I would call her to see how […]

 Jaime and I were very close friends.  The one thing that i remember the most about Jaime is, he saved my life last year.  I was in a terrible place, i got off the path with God and I was headed in the wrong direction.  I was being picked on at school and I felt like i had no where to turn.  I had my mind set, i was going to take my own life.  I felt like Jaime was the only person that could talk to.  Keep in mind that i had my death planned.  I was ready to leave this terrible place where I […]

Give everything you have.  Share your soul, your possessions, your heart and your feelings.But remember that kindness attracts the weak.

Don’t say anything that weak people can’t handle.  Weak people are just that; weak. You cannot think aloud among the weak. You cannot really be “human” among the weak. Because they are weak….

“Weak” is not a negative term.* One can be physically weak without invoking the disdain of others. It should be no different in reference to emotional weakness.

Don’t decide to be kind to the weak and then expect them to be strong.  If you cannot monitor […]

I was gone from all this shit for a good while…but it just always seems to find me again. Everything in life gets me down. Im not skinny enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough. I mean right now im doing so horrible in school, why do I even try? Death has to be the only answer. Ive thought long and hard and my life will NEVER get better. I have came to the fact that I will die soon. The only reason for stopping me is the loved ones who are close, who try to help but it never works. I walk around in […]

Not sure if I’m the alone one here keeping myself alive not only by partially being a coward (no offense intended) but also by thinking: “What if aliens land tomorrow?” Sometimes, I’ll be sitting in my bed with a knife, thinking about how nice the pain would feel again. No, not the reaction afterwords, the pain in general. But then I think, what if that really cool demon from hell comes and decides he loves me? I immediately put the knife down. What if ninjas abduct me? I can’t run while losing blood. Or, I’ll never be great psychonaut if I can’t even get over […]