General

Today I went out biking with my dad. About a little over 10 miles away we reached the waterfront. It was beautiful. It was there that I found it. I was looking around and cruising. On my left was the water, on my right was a cliff, overgrown and rocky. I immediatly knew that even though it wasn’t very high. It might Just be tall enough. I don’t know when I’ll go back, but it’s comforting to know it’s there. I’ve already started thinking of how I could make it work. I think I might know how. I like the idea of knowing that the […]

idk what to say.. i just found this site. really i have nothing to say, i just dont want to be alone. i have no story cuz i dont see a point, what i feel doesnt matter i guess and itd just make me feel pathetic

i’m fucking lonely.

I have come to the end of my life and have been completely alone for a decade now. I love my children but they onle acknowledge me when the need somthing. When I call them they will force me to go to voicemail and then may or maynot call me back. I’m not a ver productive member of society lately because my health is not good. I am ready to end it all. I just need a way to do it that looks like natural causes. I don’t want to cause anyone anymore pain. So if anyone has any ideas please help me.

it is not the first time i feel that depressed, i’ve been suffering with depression for the past few years, i tried to commit suicide several time before, and i think about suicide just about everyday!
it is been days, after failing making a relationship work, i gave up … i thought i was improving to become a better person, and the closest person to me end up disliking the person that i’ve became.
i always thought, you can never make everyone happy, so at least make yourself happy… but what is the use of being happy while people around me aren’t.
i am numb […]

I’ve always had this need to get away, far away. Whatever profession I considered for myself, I always looked for the potential to work in another country.  From reading posts on this site and information on people with suicidal thoughts and tendencies it seems that the common thoughts or desires are for freedom.  So how come we don’t go for it?  If we want to be free then why arent we?  We think that the only option there is is to kill ourselves and that will set us free but arent there other options?  I’ve recently been looking into the Military. How silly.  I am almost done […]

I think normally people are aware of their primordial depressive urges, but they distract themselves with survival and their career and religion and unnecessary decoration shit and other stupid monotonous things to drown out the little voice in the back of their head that whispers how pointless everything is. It’s part of having a conscious, logical mind. But once you listen to that voice its really hard to go back to not acknowledging it. You start to see the world differently, if not with a new sense of cruelly logical objectivity. Sentiments and emotional attachments fade away. Your closest friends don’t matter to you anymore. […]

I am not the most beautiful girl out there. If I don’t say so myself I look downright ugly. I am over weight but that does not mean people can yell it at me and sing it to me. I am 224 and 5’ 7”. I know what I look like and I know that I need to lose weight but people can shove it. I wake up and I’m still here. I just wish I can find one person to as I am pretty before I die. I know I am just ranting here but dam. They don’t see the scars and the pain […]

During the past week, I’ve been thinking. Retracing my life, if you will. I’ve been trying to find the point where my fate was sealed. At some point, my life was launched on an inescapable trajectory of misery, and now all I can do is run out the thread.

When I was little, I was a bully magnet. Yeah yeah, same old fucking story, about the little fat ***** who didn’t have the balls to stand up for himself. That was me. Childhood was rough. Didn’t have many friends. But at some point, I decided to change. I decided to become an asshole. If I didn’t […]

i just want to scream, because i’m hurting so badly inside. i just want to kick a wall and jump off my goddamn roof. i can see it, sooner or later i’m going to be pushed over the edge.

I always wonder if there is real love in my family.  Trying to read up on what real love (unconditional love) really is.  Various sources provide definitions for real love, what it is and what its not.  But is that really the question?  How could there not be love.  People, including me look at the appearence of the interaction, the behaviors and determine whether there is or isnt.  Its hard not to feel lonely and unloved in a home where there is constant arguing, put downs, and fear. Its hard to keep a rational mind and continuously remind your self that this is just the way […]

I don’t think that any human ever truly wishes to die. I think all humans desire an ideal lifestyle. Some of them are unable to live it, so they choose to not live at all. Ofcourse, there’s bound to a few people that are an exception to this generalization. I’d like to know why they’d sincerely like to die. What are their motives other than great curiosity of what happens after death?

As for myself, negative feelings often override the positive ones. I find humans in general to be relatively stupid. Humans tend to be more comfortable with believing things that make them feel good than […]

Help Me.

Life…ha! I genuinley just have no interest in anything, ever. I dont feel emotions except sadness and anger.

I recently quit my job due to daily breakdowns, the phone would ring and i would cry? Someone would ask me how my day has been and i would breakdwn into a pathetic mess… Why i wonder? and now, i dont get out of bed untill late afternoon. I have no desire for anything, i dont want anything from life. I have withdrawn myself from all of my friends and family, i dont talk to anyone anymore. Ive stopped eating, just living off of coffee and cigarettes with an occasional bite of something just to keep […]

So I am a couple of weeks out, perhaps several, from getting on xanax for social anxiety and (mild) panic disorder.  I have got to the point where I am severely depressed about my situation and my inability to connect with people.  I’m just too shy, I guess.  So a friend of mine told me about xanax and how it is the greatest thing since sliced pudding.  So I am going to give it a try.  But I have no health insurance, so the soonest I can get some will probably be August.  But I don’t know if I can wait that long.  I try […]

I’ve lost everything. I’ve been alone for over 10 years. My life is spent fantasizing about how I wish my life would have been. Sometimes I fantasize about suicide. I tried to sit in the garage with the car running a few years back but kept seeing my parents and niece and nephew and sister in my head. So I would get out of the car and go lay on the couch. I dont see them much anyways, they all have their own lives. I just spend my life here alone with my dogs playing on the computer and […]

I dont know where to go anymore it seems as if my life is coming down around me , my name is andrew and i would like to chat with anyone going through a very hard time iam 25 and like i said things are bad

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My name doesn’t even matter. I’m 20 and transgender. I’m a nihilist and up until now, I’ve been content with making my own meaning for life.

I have Borderline/Schizotypal/Paranoid Personality Disorder comorbid with nosocomephobia (an intense fear of hospitals.) I’m impressed that I’ve made it this far in life. I never expected to.

Last year I dropped out of college because of an injury that made it difficult to go to classes on top of a debilitating depression and severe suicidal thoughts. I thought things were going to get better.

I live with my dad and his new wife. I have no job. If my friends knew the […]