For general topics related to the site.
getting high and drinking coffee liquor (which tastes amazing with chocolate milk). and feeling hated because of it. which just makes me feel worse and want to drink more. its an awesome cycle of fuck it.
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General
Id say Im sorry but I dont know what it mean 🙁
Throughout our lives people come and people go.
Some we can do well without, others we will miss.
But one person remains with me no matter what that I wish would just go the hell away.
Me.
I tried to kill myself I got really drunk and I jumped of 58 feet cliff in Niagara Falls and i survived people around me cared for a day or two and they just forgot about me they abandon me my father told me I wish you died and didn’t survive my ex didn’t even care my friends are scared of me they called me a psycho they don’t even want to visit me and they cut me off I’ve been in the hospital for 45 days and I’m still there no one comes to visit me no one talks to me I have […]
Going to college has always been my dream but after 1 year I can’t afford it and I refuse to work my ass off in a minimum wage slavery job until the day I die. There is absolutely no happiness in this world without a degree and without the money that comes with it, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to serve stuck up pricks burgers for the rest of my life I REFUSE!
The financial aid office offers no help to independent students and my drunk deadbeat dad cannot cosign a single loan for me, and I have no biological mother in the […]
I still remember the reason why you become couple with your girlfriend
Its because she is the one who told you first that she likes you
Because she is brave enough
And she is the one who help you forget about me
But when you walk your days with her you realize that you cant forget me
You guess that she dump you because you never there for her
You never search her or ask her day
She always reach you first
Yes she didnt say the reason why she dump you
Are you going to repeat your fault again
I think you will
And […]
I already give you chance
2 times
But you ignore me
2 times
Dont blame me if you lose me
Dont regret your choice
Im not going to back to you
Im going to go far away
Far faar away
Dont hold me back
Dont tell me you love me
Cause love is not like this
Or at least this is not the love I want
I think
Maybe you are the one
But even if its true
This is not the future i want
You only give more pain and loneliness to my heart
I dont want to suffer more because of you
Its enough for me
I use to like it here. It was a safe haven filled with encouragement. Everyone helping another out when they are down. Now….its filled with hatred. Telling others it’s better off to keep things to themselves and death is so much better. Even going as far as actually helping them die. This isn’t the site it use to be.
Good night guys
I just do this some times to relieve myself. When im pissed off or you know just wanting to die ksksks
So i thought in leave “home” and live on the streets, i can work by any shit and do everything (not sexual pls ksksksk). And the money i save i can gie to my gf (she wouldnt know, but doesnt matter bcs i would be dead ksksksksk)
i think i might stop posting on this site/visiting it. for me, personally, when i dredge up the emotions im feeling and type it out like ive been doing, ive just started feeling upset because im re-living/focusing on that negative thing/and or the past. maybe it’ll help
Any tips on how to handle it when you have no prospect of things really getting better? It’s not a phase for me – it’s been over a decade like this. I’m too old to believe time will improve anything. This is me now. I’m long past the point where I can see any way out. There’s no hope left.
But I’m still here. I’m too scared to let go, and until something gets drastically worse (which probably will happen eventually), I can’t see that changing.
But I have no idea how to live with this. I’m just full of extreme loneliness, self-hatred, guilt, shame, regret, and […]
Hi everyone I hope y`all r doing okay…
I am going to do a test on 31 August for Medical University and I hope they`ll accept me, so I can make my parents a bit proud this time…cause I`ve already dissapointed them a lot of times.
I have a horrible fear of being sent to a mental institution. I’ve heard that if you tell a therapist (licensed), that you’re feeling suicidal, that you could get sent there. I lie about how I’m feeling because I’m scared: I haven’t heard one good thing about them. I want to talk about a different thing but I told an in-school therapist something that happened to me as a young kid and she threatened to get the cops involved. I lost my shit and broke down crying because then everyone in my family would know what happened and I would probably kill myself if my […]
I try to let myself go
I try to let him go
No i mean
I try to let myself go
I try to appreciate myself more
I try to love myself more
Cause i deserve it
And you dont deserve me
I give you another chance
I give you my attention
I give you my heart
But you dont take the chance
But you dont giving back attention
And you cant give gour heart
I deserve better man
I deserve another him
He who always there for me
He who make me his priority
He who appreciate the time weve spent together
He who laugh when […]
not suicide related
I feel that everyone else is somewhat agile. I’m only a bit agile when I wear closed in trainers, it seems. Everyone else can get out of a ferris wheel car unassisted, no problem. But when I tried, I felt like I couldn’t balance and I didn’t want to fall. and my boyfriend had to help me get out (he held my arm). Yeah I don’t really expect to be able to climb certain things like my boyfriend can but this is ridiculous. I bet he’s secretly laughing at my bad balance…
Clearly I stepped on someone’s toes. It’s just fucked up when all I ever did was just to be there. And listen. All from a safe distance and at their request. Now I quite clearly am no longer of any use nor of any concern.
Unfinished business cuts deep. And I seem to remember that was something that hurt you, too.
Just one more bleed to carry with me. And these bleeds are heavy.
Very, very heavy.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I know I’m not alone. There are many people in my life who love me and I hold them dear to me. They always make it clear that they are here for me, but why do I not feel it? Why do I still feel so lonely at times. Laying in my bed staring at the ceiling. 11:59 p.m. on a school night. Darkness fills the empty silence in my room. Do they not feel the way I do at this very moment? Laying here with this empty feeling and no motivation to even move in the slightest. My mind can’t even race because it […]
We all constantly search for things in life that make us happy. Something or someone to bring us genuine joy. I search for that out of so many people. I see the potential and possibilities that lay deep within them waiting to come out. I want to see the best in people and help them as best as I can. When I reach out to receive the same help that I give, however, it’s pushed away. My mental health is too much for people and no one wants to keep trying for me the way I try for others. I search so hard for that […]
school is the fucking worst. im depressed and want to commit suicide, im already focusing on trying to get my head on straight; how do i focus on all this fucking work? my ma pulls out some summer math and is like “you’re not half-assing your work this year.” i wasn’t half-assing, i was and still am, severly depressed, im trying so hard, so, so hard to keep everything together with my mental state. why doesn’t she understand im not as strong as her? i cant just get over myself; im still a fucking kid, why am i being held to the same standard as […]