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I Will Survive

I did this, you can too.

running from the silence

by heartlessviking
written by heartlessviking

After so many days in quiet contemplation this past month has been the first time I have actually actively tried to live. There’s a few reasons here, and today’s thoughts are proof.

Let’s just stay in the present, I have written plenty on my past. Today I woke up and it started out with bad news(ish) that I wouldn’t be getting to work at my paying job. I like working there, I’m learning a skill, but on the other hand I’m glad for the rest and to set my own pace for most of the week.

I flat didn’t get a damn thing done the first 4 […]

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WHY is it so FU(£ING difficult to LOG IN HERE!???

by bobbywylie
written by bobbywylie

I can see the reasoning behind keeping a site like this….well….discrete, I guess. But, you know, I’ve wanted, on a couple of occasions, to sign in and TALK to people (when I’ve been NEAR FUCKING KILLING MYSELF!!), but I can’t figure out how to fucking LOG IN so I can COMMUNICATE!!! WTF?!!!

There’s no LOG IN details when you visit this site! You may be DESPERATE – and you may well be RIGHT ON THE FUCKING EDGE AND DESPERATE TO TALK TO LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE, but……how the fuck do you GET IN!????????

 I managed to log on ONLY because I inadvertantly clicked on somebody’s POST! Is that how […]

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I Will Overcome !

by Addiictivetragedy
written by Addiictivetragedy

Mind like quicksand, but I try to stay above land.
Kaleidoscope of different scenarios. Life falling in a burial. Heart broken like shattered glass, not healing no mater how much time has passed. Haunted dreams every night, becoming weaker after every fight. Can’t distinguish what is real or in my head, every night laying on my deathbed. Anxiety, bipolar and PTSD, is slowly overpowering me.
Suicidal Thoughts but I’m afraid of death, continuous thoughts of how I will lose my last breath. Anxious, anxious all the time, but with meds they tell I’ll be just fine. Irritable, angry, sadden and scared, all through my mind […]

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Blossom

by Addiictivetragedy
written by Addiictivetragedy

You used your words, I used my heart. I became unheard, you became a dart. I reached out, you pushed away. I started to doubt but I was forced to stay.
Growing a flower, supposed to be a blessing. but you had the power. And I was left stressing..
Far from family , no one but you,
Loss of gravity, my hatred grew.
You where supposed to be my happy ending, but this chapter was just beginning.
My flower blossomed, she is so beautiful, I became cautioned, you grew so pitiful. Yelling and abusing, but with no bruising. I tried to flee, your family didn’t […]

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Ocean

by Wildbears
written by Wildbears

I served a sentence as a foster child. I was abused more in the custody of the state.
I then turn to be a difference in the life of a child. I guess i felt i could save me. As i work with kids to this day i find hurtful, hateful, lying humans saving their own skin from their wrong doings.
I find myself as an adult once again a victim of this false god called child protective services. The only thing they protect is financial gain. Destroy families and put child in more stress and pain.
I am in despair and my mind keeps […]

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What makes me move on?

by kellinandrew
written by kellinandrew

I am here to tell you one thing. Death isn’t my solution, it is my hideaway spot. The place I dream about when things get bad, the place I think about when I want to end things, but cant bring myself to do it. I find it comforting to dream about what could be if I died, but then it begins to scare me, it begins to make me feel alone, and sometimes I don’t know what to do. How to handle life, how to keep going. Im so tired of struggling, so tired of living off of nothing, having to rely on others, I […]

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Slow and steady/Dr. Visit

by heartlessviking
written by heartlessviking

Today things set a good trend for me. I’m still at the point I can only go out a few days a week, but I’m working on that. So today came the long awaited and also long dreaded visit with my prescribing doctor. I was really dreading the concept of going in and talking about my issues from the last few weeks. I’ve been trying to be more honest with this doctor and we have a much more functional relationship for it. That does mean though if I had still be in the deep existential funk that has dominated the last few weeks I would […]

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A good day.

by Foxglove7
written by Foxglove7

Today was a good day. I feel more insecure because of that. A dear friend who I love dearly called, and I hadn’t heard her voice in months. I was so nervous. We talked philosophy like always, like the day we first spoke(for hours) and became instant friends, maybe friends for life. Now I feel so insecure. I haven’t spoken to her in months….. does she know how crazy I am? She knew when I left the town we met in a few months back. She knew my mind was broken in a million places by madness and self-destruction and hopelessness. She held me really […]

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My Story

by xxpasteltearsxx
written by xxpasteltearsxx

So, I’m 15 years old and I’m the youngest of 5 children from my mother. The 3 oldest have different dads and are much older than I am. My relationship with them was never good, mostly because my dad (their stepdad) was very abusive towards them but not me.  They felt that I was being factorized and wanted nothing to do with me. I witnessed my dad beating on my older siblings countless times while my mom just stood there and watched. And while I wasn’t the one getting the abuse it still took a toll on me to witness that. I can’t remember a […]

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Blank

by Zelrot
written by Zelrot

I lost my baby within three years of her birth. Before that, I was moderately depressed. Once in a while I would break down into tears, I was even afraid to look in the mirror. I’ve seen myself as a monster most of my life. If not I as a monster, then I as someone surrounded by them. I’ve been married to my husband for quite a while now, I love him dearly but his depression only piles onto mine. He’s put a gun to his head around 238 times now, once just recently. He pulled the trigger all but that last time, all bullets […]

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5AM BPD/Love/Sob

by Elliot97
written by Elliot97

Do I get up and disappear while she lays beside me, sleeping beautifully? Even if she did no wrong I can’t force myself to believe she hasn’t, If I disappear maybe she’ll find someone better and worthy. I was always told anything said or thought after 2AM should be ignored but it seems to be my wisest moments. I don’t know how or why I think this way, I wish I didn’t. I wish I was ‘normal’… I used to say consistency is key in my previous relationships but it seems the only thing consistent in my life is sadness, suicidal thoughts and total destruction […]

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The 2 Lost Souls

by completely_lost2
written by completely_lost2

Today has got to be one very hard day… All i seem to think about is the death of my girlfriend and daughter during childbirth. Their watching over me i believe. I want to have them next to me. You guys obviously know the reason i am depressed. Let me go into detail, I was watching my girlfriend, she was 16, give birth to our child. I was in the hospital room and watched the whole gruesome death. She was already in labor giving birth too Arial Hunter on 4-20-2015. Ella was laying saying “i cant, i cant, i cant” i was holding her hand […]

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It’s been around 5 years and I’m back

by runawayj
written by runawayj

I used to post on here quite regularly when I was younger, I think when I was about 15 or 16? Around then. Those years are strangely hazy now, probably because I was living in such a haze of sadness and wanting to die. Anyway, I am now 21 and I’m back under a new name because I feel like a whole new person. A few parts of old me survived, and unfortunately one of those parts is the slightly suicidal one.

I say ‘slightly suicidal’ because even as I type this on this website that I know is about suicide, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t […]

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Hi?

by _lost._.one_
written by _lost._.one_

I feel so alone, as if I am not good enough.

Today I almost suffocated from my own self-hate. Sigh, not literally, metaphorically. There were so many people in the bathroom all of a sudden and I could not cry, I had to hold it in for approximately ten minutes while they fussed over their picture.

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Um…well here goes…

by _lost._.one_
written by _lost._.one_

Hello 🙂 I am going to start now…

I have attempted suicide before, but all times my plans have fallen through. I have tried suffocation through bag twice, tried hanging myself once, tried swallowing a ton of pills once, and that’s it. I cut. I despise blood and looking at other peoples injuries makes me want to faint, but for some reason it’s different with my blood. I laugh when I cut and I shake so much. It calms me, makes me happy for a short while. I wish I could be left alone though, my parents are the kind of parents who despise any problems […]

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It just kept on getting worse

by Dark_Shadow
written by Dark_Shadow

I broke up with my boyfriend early September last year. It wasn’t easy but I had to save myself from the toxic relationship I was in, where he would make all the rules but the rules would not apply to him. He made me feel shit about myself and blame me for all the problems in our relationship.

The first thing I did after that was to seek professional help, he encouraged me to go despite all the bad things that he had done to me. I went to see my doctor and told him about my depression and self-harm. He started me on some anti-depressants […]

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Human’s Imagination / Humans’ Imagination / Humans Imagination is better than Reality

by niki
written by niki

Human’s Imagination / Humans’ Imagination / Humans Imagination is better than Reality

Movie / movies is better than reality / real life / real world
Video game / games is better than reality / real world / real life
Novel /novels is better than reality / real-life / real-world /
Sci-fi / Science-fiction is better than reality / reallife / realworld
Fantasy is better than reality / real world / real life
Anime / manga is better than reality / realworld / reallife
Dream / dreams is better than reality / real-world / real-life

I hate reality !!!!
Reality it’s all about MONEY !!!!!!
Reality is BORING […]

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~Never asked for this~

by Xx-lostsoul-Xx
written by Xx-lostsoul-Xx

I never wanted any of this to happen but it did.
I never wanted to feel this way but I do.

I’m tired of faking my interests and smiles.

Cutting never helps, it never helped me feel
in control.

But I liked the pain, the feeling like a flicker of fire dragging across your bare skin.

But then it’s gone and I’m left numb… with nothing else but the scattered thoughts that are jumbled in my head.

I may seem crazy and people can have their judgments about me, but I’m just like everyone else yet I just have more problems then they’ll ever have.

But yet again I never asked […]

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why did you become suicidel?

by noname_x
written by noname_x

I was wondering why you guys did become suicidel?

If anyone is interested this is my story ..

The first time I became suicidel was about a year ago. I was already a little bit depressed but nothing much. On a friday night I went to a sort of homeparty together with my best friend for over 10 years. We were just chilling, having a good time and then suddenly he was acting strange. But I didn’t gave it much attention at the time. an hour or two went by and he was acting even more stranger than before, so i asked him what was wrong and […]

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