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My Suicide Note

Words of a Reject

by RxQueen4263
written by RxQueen4263

When I was in high school a so-called “friend” laughed at me and said “you are such a reject” for no reason. Those words always stuck with me.

I’m sick of being so hated and everyone jumping at any chance to let me know how much they don’t want me there. I’m sick of being a born loser at the bottom no matter what I do. I’m sick of being mocked and insulted and disregarded just for existing it seems. Everyone else gets support, but no, I deserved it somehow. What they do for others never seems to apply to me and me only. All I’ve […]

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Thank you…

by LoneSoul
written by LoneSoul

i would love to first start off with my appreciation for this Website, no matter the good or the bad side doesn’t matter either way. All of us are here with situations/issues any type of motive you might say behind our pain, problems, suffering. We come here to heal and cope with our daily life experience we live in. I have to give my thanks to those who reached out to me. And also the stories I have read here. It was an eye opener for me in many ways. I always come here when I’m at my weakest point. I don’t like way this […]

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Do it

by LivinGhost
written by LivinGhost

I can’t believe how old I am now. 37. My suicidal thoughts started when I was 8. My life was hard and abusive. It’s not like that now but I had already died inside a long ago and I just keep inhabiting this shell.
I was smart enough not to bring a child. I’d probably would have been an absent mother with occasional outbursts of disproportionate rage and pass this poison on to my future generation.
I wouldn’t advise everyone who has a bad day or a few rough weeks even, to do it but
If your life is objectively horrible
If the meds don’t […]

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The way I live

by SamLight
written by SamLight

It is very difficult to express the way I feel on a daily basis. Today, I was supposed to study for my finals but i didn’t. Thoughts kept running through my mind, and I imagined a whole conversation with a psychiatrist and kept talking to him for 3 hours. It felt like I was in a bubble, it felt so real. I’ve always been like this, since I do not have close friends, there’s no one to share my thoughts with, so I imagine people in my mind. Oh lord loneliness has become my home. I feel very awkward when engaging in a real conversation […]

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Glow stick

by the_girl_with_the_yellow_necklace
written by the_girl_with_the_yellow_necklace

My family always called me a glow stick because I shine to them with my fake smile, I don’t need your pity when my life sucks ass? and I’m in love with a Taurus male. It’s important I’ve known him for so long and we both love each other in a romantic relationship way. So we are kinda just really close friends. My friends probably know who this is already I know too. But what do they really know about me? I don’t even know myself or who I am.. all I know is for a fact I love him, he loves me. It’s started […]

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Tired of it all

by dls25
written by dls25

I’m tired of the lies. I knew it would never get better. I know it never can. But we’re all fed that same lie. Over and over. Until we rip out our eyes so we stop seeing the truth. We paint on a smile like clowns. We’re beaten down with the hollow words of those driven mad.

It gets better. It gets better. It gets better.

See a therapist. See a therapist. See a therapist.

Take your pills. Take your pills. Take your pills.

Those broken by the weight of it all. Driven mad by toxic positivity and hopeless hope. I’m tired of it all. I’m tired of being […]

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Someone help me please

by SamLight
written by SamLight

I’ve fought  so hard for this. My whole life, I’ve never been able to feel positive emotions . I can remember some memories from when I truly felt joy, when I used to hang out with some friends but nothing more than that. I’ve spent hours days trying to dig up some happy memories but nothing. I’m nothing more than an abused child, nothing more than my past. I wanna be able to feel something, anything. All I can think about nonstop is how to hurt myself. I’ve thought about burning myself to death, cutting a finger, breaking a leg. Some very violent ideas are […]

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you know who you are, I hope this finds you well :)

by ghosting
written by ghosting

Hey, I’m sorry if this is all over the place. Right now my mind is just a jumbled amalgamation of words that I just can’t seem to convey properly. I didn’t want to leave a suicide note, personally they make me want to off myself, but I couldn’t just go without leaving something for you. You’re just so important to me, it breaks my heart to just disappear without giving you a piece of my soul.

I’ve missed you so dearly, I miss you more than anything in the world. I hold you so close to my heart always. you know, you’re absolutely my favorite person. […]

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When will the pain end?

by Kuris
written by Kuris

Time is a heartless master in an entropy driven world. For those who are suffering, it drags and drags on, while for those living in pleasure, the clock can’t ever seem to slow down.

I wish people could fathom the pain I have endure everyday. The pain I have endured for well over a decade now, since I was only 10 years old and became fully aware of how cruel the world around me was. I was always told time heals all […]

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The Mystery Behind the Culprit

by Mauve
written by Mauve

To The Person That I Mirrored Myself
Despite the fact that I am fully aware of what is going on in your life, your inspirational and motivational messages captivated me. I admire your ways of dealing with life because I don’t. Four years ago, I was in your shoes. I am a goal-oriented person who is concerned with the future and success. I was a “church girl” who read scriptures always and prayed three times a day, till […]

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Meet Suicide show

by kooljool
written by kooljool

Meet suicide show

I am laughing tears in my eyes continuously smiling struggling to be alive I don’t want to be alive any more more . I am feeling myself very hollow inside me anything I do I think it’s wrong or is going to go wrong because it’s in my hand.I cannot feel anything I am just like a rock just like a vegetable.Aur I am feeling everything   and that is making me  mad  making me crazy making me very eager to kill myself.

I am just tired of everything everything of my own mistakes wrongly taken decision yes I am a loser
nobody likes losers […]

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Dead

by annie39
written by annie39

I’m so not okay, I can’t feel anymore. This darkness inside of me is growing so rapidly that I can’t even control it anymore. I have nothing, nothing at all. Only the pain in my heart. Nobody even sees me anymore, I’ve become someone I don’t even know, I’m so fucking lost. I’ve tried to end it all twice and both times I woke up the next day, contemplating my life again. My heart feels heavy all the time, yet I’m numb to everything. I look at myself in the mirror, while I’m crying and I don’t see myself in my eyes anymore, I don’t […]

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Why am I alive?

by Die555
written by Die555

Hello, so let’s just start this off with a “I should be dead right now” I have no idea why I’m still alive. My girlfriends in the past have cheated on me and my girlfriend now likes someone else and hates me. My family told me to kill myself many times in the past and doesn’t care about me. I’m alone and by myself. I’ve tried many MANY times in the past and failed. Every. Single. Time. The closest I’ve ever come to death is a car accident in 2017 and I was in a 8 month coma. God only KNOWS how I came out […]

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I Can’t Do This Anymore

by llio_vy
written by llio_vy

I’m young, and some people might think that i haven’t known real pain. I’m turning 19 this year and life isn’t going good. My depression first started years ago when my parents degraded me, even calling me a moron for not doing well in my exam. I was humiliated so i started to do well in my next exams and i did well in highschool. It wasn’t enough for them, they still degraded me even when i got an above average result. I got an offer to enter a uni but i got rejected, probably i wasn’t good enough for them. I don’t have enough […]

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I think it’s time

by DeadTired
written by DeadTired

Okay so I’ve been dealing with a lot of emotional issues and because of those I end up acting irrationally. I try not to self-harm, because I know it doesn’t please God and it hurts my loved ones. But I am getting to the end of my rope. Today I was praying to the Lord for a sign that I shouldn’t kill myself today, but he didn’t answer. So I think maybe he is okay with me doing it, or maybe his grace has just run out for me. Either way, I should have done this a long long time ago.

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I wonder what it must feel like for a parent to….

by its_my_fault_how
written by its_my_fault_how

See your oldest son wither away right before your eyes. I’m a parent of a 6 and 4 year old. I am a veteran who could barley stand on two feet before the military. Sprinkle some uncle sam b/s into the equation and you have damaged goods.

But as a parent…what’s it like to watch your oldest son wither away like an parched plant. I know it’s gotta be tough. I have ignored and self medicated my mental illness to the point where I am debilitated. They are old school and wounds you can’t see dont exist. Plus, being 34 on the cot in the […]

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I knew something was wrong when..

by its_my_fault_how
written by its_my_fault_how

I suddenly couldn’t feel anymore. It take the adrenaline from the fight or flight response just to get out of bed in the morning. I have the opportunity to say bye as everything crumbles around me. Soon I’ll probably be admitted to the hospital if I make it that far. It pains me to wake up every morning knowing that someone else could use my wasted life to do great things.

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And one day everything just stopped…

by its_my_fault_how
written by its_my_fault_how

I woke up this morning and didn’t go to work. I drove around in circles. I’m homeless save that I have a child in two separate locations. So I sleep on a cot during the week and a guest bed on the weekends. I have no energy and all. I only experience life through the veil of depression and utter calamity.

I’m a veteran and father of 2 small children. Thankfully their mothers/grandmothers are still around in my absence. And to be honest I’ve been absent for quite some time. I cannot remember my last genuine smile. My illness is so bad that I’ve been […]

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The death of Chatterton

by IfIGoImGoing
written by IfIGoImGoing

Ive been reading suicideproject posts for many many years now, but ive never expected myself to actually post anything here.

 

Why would I?

 

You know, I have this diary.. someone told me long ago, that writing my problems down along with the current date might help me get through things. That, looking back at these problems after years, will make me realise how small they were.

 

My first entry was made the night I ran away, hid in the woods, cold, scared, hurt, with no one to turn to. After that, it was basically a long series of entries, it was me dealing with the whole thing, with […]

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