i dont know how long i can take it i hope next week ill finally be motivated to go and not be spooked out this time
life is a cliff and ive spent most of it just hanging on and i think ill finally be able to get up then my fingers slip more and people care and want to help but i dont know how to help myself idk i cant keep living like this and i ruin everything i touch and make everyone disappointed or mad im not mentslly ill my life is fine nothings happened?? cant keep coping bc ppl are mad […]
When I was 5 years old my entire 4th grade class yelled out
“We hope you die”
“You are going to die alone”
“Fine, I will do it. Happy!”
“Yeah don’t show up tomorrow!”
Its been 17 years since I was born, my orginal personality or me died that very night. Can you imagine a 5yr old having to decide that action and actually follow through with it… The trama was so great that the only memory I have is the knife falling but never reaching and waking up 3 months later with no one aware of my actions that night. I went […]
I’m not depressed. I’ve always been fascinated by death and bored by life. Even when I was a kid. I was taught to be christian, but it always seemed so boring to me, I never had any dreams of being a fireman or a police or a doctor or anything, my dream as a 5 year old was to be an old, lonely alcoholic that hated the world as much as he hated himself. I was seven years old the first time I wanted to kill myself. I was eleven years old when I started to think that I really didn’t fit in anywhere, that […]
The last few weeks I’ve kept postponing my suicide day by day, morning by morning, evening by evening; I don’t know why I’m afraid of death so, lately; I’ve destroyed my life on purpose on every possible level to get the courage to do it. Hasn’t worked out great so far. Anyway I tossed a coin today 5 times, heads I’ll do it now, tails tomorrow; 4 out of 5 times it was tails, so tomorrow it is. I’m glad in a way because it gives me the opportunity to say thank you to everyone here, the brave that left us already and all so many […]
What happens after we die ? I wonder. Am I gonna find myself in a beautiful village with habitants full of love attention who would care for me when I’m sick, be happy for me when I succeed, accompany me in the worst times. We would laugh together about silly jokes, eat every meal together, play outside and take care of Farm animals. The view from our house would be breathtaking and everyone would get along. But most importantly, I would have forgotten everything,, every little bit of abuse, self hatred and abomination from this current life. I really hope this heaven awaits me for […]
Hello all. For about a month now i have been planning my suicide, for a while it didnt seem real and as though i wasn’t fully connecting with the idea of dying, i spent a lot of time on the internet coping and eating junk food (why not right?) but now it is almost time and there is no more need for coping.
I purchased a ****** **** **** *** *****, it arrives on july 21. I will kill myself on july 21.
Sourcing the information for a peaceful suicide was tedious to say the least and it seems that talking to anyone about suicide makes them […]
When I was in high school a so-called “friend” laughed at me and said “you are such a reject” for no reason. Those words always stuck with me.
I’m sick of being so hated and everyone jumping at any chance to let me know how much they don’t want me there. I’m sick of being a born loser at the bottom no matter what I do. I’m sick of being mocked and insulted and disregarded just for existing it seems. Everyone else gets support, but no, I deserved it somehow. What they do for others never seems to apply to me and me only. All I’ve […]
i would love to first start off with my appreciation for this Website, no matter the good or the bad side doesn’t matter either way. All of us are here with situations/issues any type of motive you might say behind our pain, problems, suffering. We come here to heal and cope with our daily life experience we live in. I have to give my thanks to those who reached out to me. And also the stories I have read here. It was an eye opener for me in many ways. I always come here when I’m at my weakest point. I don’t like way this […]
I can’t believe how old I am now. 37. My suicidal thoughts started when I was 8. My life was hard and abusive. It’s not like that now but I had already died inside a long ago and I just keep inhabiting this shell.
I was smart enough not to bring a child. I’d probably would have been an absent mother with occasional outbursts of disproportionate rage and pass this poison on to my future generation.
I wouldn’t advise everyone who has a bad day or a few rough weeks even, to do it but
If your life is objectively horrible
If the meds don’t […]
It is very difficult to express the way I feel on a daily basis. Today, I was supposed to study for my finals but i didn’t. Thoughts kept running through my mind, and I imagined a whole conversation with a psychiatrist and kept talking to him for 3 hours. It felt like I was in a bubble, it felt so real. I’ve always been like this, since I do not have close friends, there’s no one to share my thoughts with, so I imagine people in my mind. Oh lord loneliness has become my home. I feel very awkward when engaging in a real conversation […]
My family always called me a glow stick because I shine to them with my fake smile, I don’t need your pity when my life sucks ass? and I’m in love with a Taurus male. It’s important I’ve known him for so long and we both love each other in a romantic relationship way. So we are kinda just really close friends. My friends probably know who this is already I know too. But what do they really know about me? I don’t even know myself or who I am.. all I know is for a fact I love him, he loves me. It’s started […]
I’m tired of the lies. I knew it would never get better. I know it never can. But we’re all fed that same lie. Over and over. Until we rip out our eyes so we stop seeing the truth. We paint on a smile like clowns. We’re beaten down with the hollow words of those driven mad.
It gets better. It gets better. It gets better.
See a therapist. See a therapist. See a therapist.
Take your pills. Take your pills. Take your pills.
Those broken by the weight of it all. Driven mad by toxic positivity and hopeless hope. I’m tired of it all. I’m tired of being […]
I’ve fought so hard for this. My whole life, I’ve never been able to feel positive emotions . I can remember some memories from when I truly felt joy, when I used to hang out with some friends but nothing more than that. I’ve spent hours days trying to dig up some happy memories but nothing. I’m nothing more than an abused child, nothing more than my past. I wanna be able to feel something, anything. All I can think about nonstop is how to hurt myself. I’ve thought about burning myself to death, cutting a finger, breaking a leg. Some very violent ideas are […]
Hey, I’m sorry if this is all over the place. Right now my mind is just a jumbled amalgamation of words that I just can’t seem to convey properly. I didn’t want to leave a suicide note, personally they make me want to off myself, but I couldn’t just go without leaving something for you. You’re just so important to me, it breaks my heart to just disappear without giving you a piece of my soul.
I’ve missed you so dearly, I miss you more than anything in the world. I hold you so close to my heart always. you know, you’re absolutely my favorite person. […]
Time is a heartless master in an entropy driven world. For those who are suffering, it drags and drags on, while for those living in pleasure, the clock can’t ever seem to slow down.
I wish people could fathom the pain I have endure everyday. The pain I have endured for well over a decade now, since I was only 10 years old and became fully aware of how cruel the world around me was. I was always told time heals all […]
To The Person That I Mirrored Myself
Despite the fact that I am fully aware of what is going on in your life, your inspirational and motivational messages captivated me. I admire your ways of dealing with life because I don’t. Four years ago, I was in your shoes. I am a goal-oriented person who is concerned with the future and success. I was a “church girl” who read scriptures always and prayed three times a day, till […]
Meet suicide show
I am laughing tears in my eyes continuously smiling struggling to be alive I don’t want to be alive any more more . I am feeling myself very hollow inside me anything I do I think it’s wrong or is going to go wrong because it’s in my hand.I cannot feel anything I am just like a rock just like a vegetable.Aur I am feeling everything and that is making me mad making me crazy making me very eager to kill myself.
I am just tired of everything everything of my own mistakes wrongly taken decision yes I am a loser
nobody likes losers […]
I’m so not okay, I can’t feel anymore. This darkness inside of me is growing so rapidly that I can’t even control it anymore. I have nothing, nothing at all. Only the pain in my heart. Nobody even sees me anymore, I’ve become someone I don’t even know, I’m so fucking lost. I’ve tried to end it all twice and both times I woke up the next day, contemplating my life again. My heart feels heavy all the time, yet I’m numb to everything. I look at myself in the mirror, while I’m crying and I don’t see myself in my eyes anymore, I don’t […]
Hello, so let’s just start this off with a “I should be dead right now” I have no idea why I’m still alive. My girlfriends in the past have cheated on me and my girlfriend now likes someone else and hates me. My family told me to kill myself many times in the past and doesn’t care about me. I’m alone and by myself. I’ve tried many MANY times in the past and failed. Every. Single. Time. The closest I’ve ever come to death is a car accident in 2017 and I was in a 8 month coma. God only KNOWS how I came out […]
I’m young, and some people might think that i haven’t known real pain. I’m turning 19 this year and life isn’t going good. My depression first started years ago when my parents degraded me, even calling me a moron for not doing well in my exam. I was humiliated so i started to do well in my next exams and i did well in highschool. It wasn’t enough for them, they still degraded me even when i got an above average result. I got an offer to enter a uni but i got rejected, probably i wasn’t good enough for them. I don’t have enough […]