Rants

2

14 years of there pain in me

  August 5th, 2009 by suicide-princess

i have always hated myself and everything to do with me i cant even look at a photo of myself and i cant seem to do anything right and everyone keeps quitting on me so whats the point in living? sure im only 14 but thats 14 years of pain let me help you understand a little i am a 14 year old girl living in care i have had 6 different placements in seven years and to top it off im bi so nothing seems to be going very well my therapist quit on me today so that makes three  of them  i have [...]
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5

I’m losing it.

  August 5th, 2009 by vitiated

For years all I’ve been wanting is to die. I never thought I’d kill myself, but I just wished that I’d get into a car accident and die. But lately I’ve just been feeling worse and worse. Today, I actually sat down and tried to decided what the best way to kill myself would be. I can’t believe I’ve got to this point.

My life isn’t bad; nothing earth shattering has ever happened to me. Except for some molestation issues when I was younger, but I barely remember it and can’t think it’s affected me all that much. I just think about my future and can’t [...]
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5

I just don’t get it

  August 3rd, 2009 by C1223

I really never wanted to write a post on this website.  Or I guess I do it’s just that I hate it when people judge me but oh well.  It’s not like I have anything more to lose anyway so here goes…

I just don’t understand why dying is such a bad thing.  I really don’t get it.  Like why does everyone act like I’m such a freak just because I don’t want to live anymore?  Is it because life really is supposed to be this wonderful perfect happy gift that never stops giving?  Well if thats the case then I should really kill myself because [...]
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5

I can’t live like this anymore

  August 2nd, 2009 by kayceekitten

I can’t live this way anymore. My best friend gave me a lecture about me killing myself, and now hates me. My one friend, Paige, doesn’t even ACT like she cares. I’m probably depressed, I wanna kill myself, and I have thought of running away multiple times (I would have nowhere to go….). My life is one big hell. My dad hit me when I was three, has been verbally abusive since, hit me again when I was seven, and juSt plain pisses me off. My parents argue often now, and I’ve decided next time they get in a fight, I’m running and not coming [...]
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4

I can’t do this anymore

  August 2nd, 2009 by ugh112

I have spent the entire day in a fight. A fight with myself, with my boyfriend, with my life. I don’t want to do this anymore. I am so filled with anger and hate that I can’t stand to be around myself. This has been going on for a long time. I am a college graduate and looking at med school, but right now I don’t feel like I am good enough to even get in. I am taking science prereq’s and I just got a C on my last A & P exam. I feel so stupid. It doesn’t help that I have an [...]
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5

I don’t know anything

  August 1st, 2009 by confused

I’m so tired and so confused. Everyday, I find myself worrying and trying to keep up with my smiles. It’s been difficult and tiring that I don’t know what to do anymore. During the day, with my family and with my friends, I’d be happy and always smiling. I would just laugh with everyone and generally feel so happy. I profess love to this guy everyday. I laugh with my friends at every joke. I play with my dog and have fun.

But when I’m all alone, I’ve always find it hard to stop myself from crying. I don’t know nor understand why I feel so [...]
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6

Life or death?

  July 31st, 2009 by kayceekitten

I really don’t know what to do anymore. My life is going downhill. My few friends are turning against me. It feels like nobody wants me here, so if I ended my life, everyone would be happier. I want to end my life, but I am too afraid to take the necessary actions to do so. I sleep eleven hours a night, which is three hours longer than I used to sleep, plus i wake up at 4 am and cant go back to sleep for about twenty minutes. I am rarely hungry and last night i felt really dizzy for about two hours. I [...]
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3

again?

  July 31st, 2009 by cocoabean15

i just got out of long term on july 2. i was in long term for 3 months. it helped for the first week when i got out but now its way worse than before. i cut everyday multiple times, i bite myself, i scratch myself, i even burn myself. i dont know what to do. i dont want to go back to the hospital. im not crazy. i dont have a problem. i do this because i need to.


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4

I dont know

  July 31st, 2009 by prettyodd

Okay well I know I’m young but i constantly have this thought I shouldnt be here anymore. I try to be happy, I try to be myself but deep down I just feel like being alone and crying. I have no idea what I want anymore. I see myself going nowhere In life. Ive thought about killing myself and everytime I try to I cant bring myself to do it because I think of how other people would feel. I dont know I’m just ranting, I’m sorry.


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3

Not Here

  July 29th, 2009 by abilitykay

alright, this is my first post…..

i just found about this site a few minutes ago

i googled ‘suicide’ and this is it.

i’ll try and make it straight and plain.

i just don’t feel like anything matters. yes, i try my best and i am a good student and i always try to be a good friend. but there’s always been this thought inside my head, everytime i close my eyes or try to sleep, the thought “i don’t belong here. i don’t want to be here anymore.”

To try and describe the way i feel, i’m hysterically crying and i can’t stop thinking about those thoughts. I recognize [...]
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4

A long road… approaching a dead end?

  July 28th, 2009 by convict

I’m a twenty year old in college… and there’s a lot that’s happened in the past few years that has made me question life in its entirety. Prior to my senior year in high school, my father was diagnosed with lung and esophagus cancer. It was a difficult struggle to see the dramatic changes my life took in terms of my family, friends, and my responsibilities. I took it upon myself to acquire a job and help with the family. I fought and struggled and did my best to help with the family in hopes that my father would get better. [...]
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2

Jaded

  July 28th, 2009 by TWonline

I never thought things would come to this… but here I am, writing.

At age 25 I found out that I had to have urgent open heart surgery to replace my aortic valve. I was in 60% heart failure without even knowing it and could have died at any time. I had the procedure done, and am alive and kicking… though I opted for a tissue valve (so I could enjoy a higher quality of life) and was told that it would only last roughly ten years. It is now three years later, I just turned 28, and post-traumatic stress disorder finally kicked in. I moved [...]
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4

  July 22nd, 2009 by CoryJK

Dear Suicide Project,

FML.  I want to kill myself, but my fear of eternal damnation in hell keeps me from doing so.  Would someone kindly shove a knife through my heart.

XOXO’s

Cory


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5

Love?

  July 22nd, 2009 by Jess66

Ok, so life hasn’t been so great lately. So there’s this girl who said she loved me a few days ago, and I LOVED her for months and months and watched her get boy-friend after boy-friend while I’m almost certian she knew I was in love with her, so I was basically nothing to her when she had a boy-friend and when they cheated on her or broke up, Of course I was “the best” and “super amazing” because I’m so soft harted I CAN’T not forgive some one. And I just kept loving her. And now recently I knew I would never have her [...]
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3

  July 19th, 2009 by gini

hi there I’m 28yrs old and don’t know what to do anymore i have 4 kids which at the moment i don’t like I’ve been told that due to depression which Ive suffered for years since being a kid all i want to do is end all this for me and them as i know that as long as I’m here there not going to be happy and i no that wen i go they will all have loving happy places to go to life is so shit i just don’t know how to cope i no how im gonna do it i already told [...]
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1

Life and questions

  July 19th, 2009 by jeff24353

im 16 my name is jeff, i am depressed and dont know why, my mom and dad got a divorce when i was 5 and i live with my mom, i am a christian, i hav a fairly good relationship with both of my parents, i’m actually not a bad looking kid, but i havent had a girlfriend in like 3 yrs, i feel very along bc ppl say they are there for me, the they arent. but speaking of girls, there is this one, and i dont know about you other guys (PLEASE TELL ME IF YA’LL DO THIS) but every time you think [...]
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1

Its always darkest before the dawn right? Where did the fucking Sun go?

  July 19th, 2009 by Stoshua18

Well it’s been an interesting time in my life. I’ve spent almost 2 months of it in a mental hospital separated with a girlfriend of almost 3 years, mother of my third son who will be 2 tomorrow.  Started a relationship with another woman who I have to say, I love dearly.  I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I can’t bring myself to live a ‘normal’ life where I am a responsible adult and 9-5 and family one weekends. I left out in disability in December of last year about 3 months after FINALLY seeing a psychiatrist and being diagnosed with [...]
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5

Help

  July 15th, 2009 by painterofmusic

Does anyone have skype that I could talk to? I really need someone. And please, if you’re just going to call 911 or someone and turn me in, don’t bother. You’d be hurting far more than you’d be helping. But if anyone can and they’re online right now, my URL is trippingovercrazy. I don’t have any friends, or I’d go to them.


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4

Feeling despondent..

  July 14th, 2009 by Adelleda

I’m not even sure how to describe my feelings at the moment…
I feel like a complete failure, I’m feeling dejected and empty.
It seems that everything I attempt ends in failure or misery, due to lack of motivation
and just feeling completely worthless. I’m not even sure why I have suicidal thoughts once in a while.
I think I just like to entertain the thought in order to help me feel ‘comfortable’.
I don’t think I would ever act upon it because I’d be too afraid to carry it out and I would not like to burden
any of my immediate family. When I [...]
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2

Need to get it out

  July 12th, 2009 by LostInDarkness

I was wondering have you ever written in a journal everything that you are thinking to get it out to someone, feel better and then throw it away?  I was reading an article in the newspaper and it’s all about mental health in Canada and how the system sucks.  It had some people’s stories.  The more I read it the more I realized that post partum wasn’t the begining for me but a trigger.  Now I think about all the nights up in the middle of the night just writing and writing until I finally fell asleep and when I got up and read it [...]
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