So hey it’s me…Gracie again…this may be your first time reading something I wrote or it may be your second time..But anyways I wanted to just say i’m doing better..I mean yes i’m still hurting from him..but the thing is I am learning to move on but I think I may be making a mistake.The guy I like is new at my school, he has a little bit of a bad history with my friend Lexie….it’s pretty messed up actually..what he had done to her…and I feel like if I like him it’ll make me a bad friend I mean my friends said he was […]
Category:
Rants
I have no friends. Nobody cares, if I was starving or if I was in mourning
Blood dries up. Tears do too. I have nothing, & no one cares, or is even wondering.
I hate myself enuff to cry about it daily.
I love them all so much, they’re the only pains that faze me.
I want it to be over soon. So there will be less pain.
But, my pain grows, & what was strong weakens with each day.
I’m a failure for my past, & yet each day I really try.
By the day’s end, to the distant moon I cry.
Filling the holes of my heart as I sleep;
My dreams […]
I doubt anyone will bother reading all of this.
I just feels good to rant
I hate life. I don’t get why I’m unhappy, my life isn’t that bad; way better than some. I hate the fact that i complain about so much when it could really be so much worse. Am i really that ungrateful? It makes me hate myself so much more. I should be happy. I shouldn’t want to die. But i do, i hate myself, i inflict pain on myself. I’m so much of a fucking failure i can’t even kill myself. I tried and i bloody failed. I’m such a fuck up […]
It’s nice to have a nonjudgmental place to share my feelings and try to help others, though I’m only a new member. Part of me wants to put more about myself on here, but i don’t eant to put too many identifying details, partially because it would be tragic for the members here to find out when i die and who i am (or was) when the time comes. It’s mainly because I’d want anyone reading this to feel as little emotional pain as possible. The potential pain of others will not stop me, I find myself caring more about the wellbeing of the people […]
When people ask me how old I am, I actually have to stop and think about it. I’m 24 now and sometimes that surprises me, I was honestly convinced at one point that I would get to die young. Well, it was more of a hope really, perhaps that way I wouldn’t have to deal with any of the bullshit responsibilities, obligations, and insecurities that I am facing now. I guess death seemed/seems like the easy way out.
My years in high school all seem like a blur now, but I do remember feeling tired all the time. I didn’t know it back then, […]
Hi, I’m from the shithole that’s mentioned in the title, and our election is near. Every day I’m suffering from anxiety and the thought of Putin becoming our president (dictator) once again… I can’t stand living here, it’s so mentally painful. After the war my family become so poor and I, being not rich nor smart, don’t have any chance to see the civil world, let alone live there. Anyone, set us free from this fucking slavery
I feel happy sometimes maybe once a day, but the rest is filled with pretending to be something I’m not. I act all confident and strong but all I am is weak and scared, I put a smile on my face so no one is ever worried. I don’t want to pretend anymore…
Never knew the walk will be so hard
never know, you’ll never know…. till you try
or quit n’ die.
fuck it, I tried to be best for you , best for me, best for bro
All the bur-den on m’ back, ain’t I real scared.
Got me knocked down with booze, watch me down
Right now, I am a bit drown.
It sure is easy to say,
” i will be there” ” i will fight”
“tomorrow will be the best, gonna do things RIGHT”
going to stand , stand though the wave
going on to pave
a way for you and for us,
It is all about our trust.
But how you do this?
Get your shit together, […]
I’m so done with all the bullshit in life! There have been many things that have happened to me, and the last straw came when I got robbed last year. I felt so weak and helpless and chose to give them my shit, even though I had my gun with me like always.
It’s tearing me apart because I feel like a piece of shit who deserves every bad thing that happens to me. Almost none of my friends want to hang out with me. It’s easy to tell because they make up excuses for it, yet they’ll post pictures I’m Facebook of them with their […]
When your actions cause someone else pain, just remind them how they have hurt you wors before and they no longer deserve apologies or love. #Fuckyoukarmanobodyaskedforyouropinion
that is what life taught me today, anyways
Why do I go on?
I did everything right. I stayed on at school, went first to college then to university. I was good to people I met and was friendly to everyone. SO WHAT WENT WRONG?
I don’t know. Once I finished university I saw a great future ahead for me, that was 2006.
Since then I have had a huge number of dead end jobs the longest lasting a year the shortest only weeks.
Though I like women I haven’t been in a relationship in that time. In the last few months I have been talking to a younger woman, yesterday I asked […]
I wonder how my shitty friends and rapist are doing being able to go to school and finish their degrees and accomplish their dreams right now? They don’t care the depression they put me through one bit. I bet they’re happy poor little depressed girl is not there to put a damp to their party. I bet others that don’t know of all the struggles my life has put me through laugh at how much of a failure I am. I bet all their futures look so bright while I sit here dim and dull wishing an everlasting night. Oh if I had known that […]
Does anyone else constantly have dreams at night of lost loves, friends, or passions? Whenever I dream of those things, I feel much happier for the duration of my dream, only to wake up and continue living the much more lonely life that I do.
I can’t decide if I like having those dreams or not. They remind me of better times, but also remind me of how much worse things are now.
Would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
In spite of how much I try,
or protest,
or submit,
my parents can’t seem to take me any longer.
I’m supposed to be whisked off to Virginia
to live with my grandparents.
I’ve never had much of a desire to go to the east coast,
and find it inferior to my own state.
But in giving into my depression,
I lost the opportunity for choice.
I won’t miss my parents as much as I’ll miss my friends,
I won’t miss my friends as much as I’ll miss my english teacher,
and I sure as hell won’t miss any of them as much as I’ll miss my rabbit.
I’ll live.
It feels like no matter what I do, no matter how much progress I make, I always end up making the same stupid, shitty mistakes that send me back to square one. Each time, I keep on thinking that I’ll know better, and that it won’t happen again. But it does. It always does. I screw up, and everyone around me is disappointed in me. It puts a black feeling in my stomach, and when I get like that, I can’t feel any emotions. But that doesn’t stop me from hurting people. Whether it’s my intention to or not, I end up hurting people when […]
i went back to cutting. i think everything is falling apart, i dont belong anywhere, i just want to die. i want to kill myself. when i got home yesterday i had the urge to overdose but this time i almost went with it. i just stopped caring for the time being. i still dont know what to do. lord. someone save me.
I’m killing myself as soon as my parents are gone long enough. Or try to at least. Take a bunch of sleeping pills, fill my tub with cold water and ice cubes, and try to catch hypothermia, or freeze to death. Funny how I cut but I’m afraid of pain…. I just want it to stop. My wrists are scarred, and I blame it on a cat I don’t even have. If you actually read this, I don’t want any sympathy, like “Don’t do it! You’re worth it!” Tired of that bullshit. 11 years old and already planning to die. I’m a failure.
I woke up this morning covered in hives. I still feel an oncoming fever and my lymph nodes are swollen. It hurts to breath. I also have had years of reoccurring tonsilitis and stones and they are back too. I spent 7 hours last night trying to clean and reorganize my moldy, dusty, shared basement in an attempt to de litter my life and combat stress. But, it seems to have been a bad idea because now I’m soooo sick.
I was saying two days ago if I have to live in my awful house with this shitty life much longer, I think I’m going to […]
Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that I would be writing here about my depression. I honestly never knew the impact of depression before I had it.
It all started when I joined college. During my school days, I was one of the most popular students and held various leadership titles. But now when I look at myself in the mirror, all I can do is regret about myself. I’ve joined college in a foreign country miles away from my family and friends. Plus this is also where my brother studied. I was really excited about everything and did pretty well for a […]
Hi, “artaria” 21, gnc intersex/transgender and hating life
I’m almost 22 but I feel as if I am generations older from all of the messed up stuff that has happened in my life. Every year seems to have un-ending sadness and awful events. So many horrible things I couldn’t begin to list it all.
It is embarking on the anniversary of the last really big traumated thing to happen in my life last year. Months of intense emotional and physical abuse culminated to me finding myself in an even worse situation that I don’t really want to get into right now…
I still blame myself in a lot […]