Does anyone else get suicidal while drunk? I think it’s the only way I’ll have the guts to do it. Don’t have anyone to talk to cause I feel guilty enough for ruining other people’s evenings already. I dunno, it sucks. I just want to get drunk without fucking things up for everybody else, feel guilty, then want to off myself to appease the guilt. Why can’t I have fun like everybody else?
hi. i got expelled from school like a week ago (10th grade). my parents don’t give a shit, but they tell me to get a job. can’t seek for one outside the house ’cause i’m super socially anxious. i tried to kill myself for god knows how many times and the only conclusion is a sick head. i don’t know what to do anymore, really. it feels like the universe is toying me.
Straight to the point: I don’t feel like I belong here. On this earth, in this life, in this universe. Whatever that means. What does “belonging here” look like exactly? I’m not entirely sure. It’s not something that I have completely pinned down. If I had to say, I think what it means to “belong here” is to feel some sense of purpose, some drive towards a certain goal. This may be a bit too unrealistic; I may have this idea based off of the many works of fiction that I consume.
And the problem is, I don’t feel that. Like, at all. No motivation towards […]
life is good. caring family, good friends.
my family keeps expanding with more cute niece and nephew, my sister gonna marry this year and a very good atmosphere when there were family gatherings.
good old friends still in contact although within the whatsapp group and made new friends at college.
yeah,life is good… but im tired……
i dont even remember when the first time i felt this way, maybe since kindergarten? the thoughts about when my life gonna end always come whenever my age rose. i did think of suicidal things but my thought got held back because i didnt want my good family to receive the backlash of […]
I was born into a family history of abuse. My female progenitor, “Louise”, (who I stopped calling mother years ago) was raped by siblings and step-parents and ignored by her female progenitor who favored the boys according to Louise. She got pregnant with me seemingly to “catch” her boyfriend, who didn’t take the bait and left. I suspect they were both damaged, shitty, selfish, childish people who couldn’t love. Louise then neglected me from birth and abused me mentally/emotionally for several years as a single mother on welfare.
As an example, when I was a boy of maybe 8-10 years old, I wrote Louise a poetic […]
I lost so much at the last years.
I know I would never be the same person, I already saw myself changing with the years.
I became a mad-man ;
Lacking sympathy, don’t feel love or any kind of true social bond.
I became more and more sociopath, but with the understanding of human beings. I can identify most of the people’s weaknesses and I usually take advantages of it for my own good, only to survive.
Look… It is just that I’m pissed of on my reality.
But I guess it doesn’t matter. AS LONG AS I KEEP PUSHING THE SHIT OUT OF IT.
anyway good day you all, […]
I lied to you guys about quitting this site…
I just can’t, you strangers are the only one to talk to.
I’m getting really lonely, and afraid of losing control.
I’m at my second semester, February is going to be the finals (University tests). Last semester I scored 88.5 average which is pretty high. But I promised my mom to score around 95 this semester.
I’m focused on the target…..but at the end of the day, when it gets silent, and I feel like talking, I’ve none to talk to.
I’m a friendly fine looking man, it is not that I […]
Theres this pain in my chest that reminds me that I probably never make it
I’ll never be able to “show my true colors” I’m not sure who I am. I don’t know what my favorite things r I never care and I don’t think anyone ever will either. Will I ever find out what my goals for life are and would I even be able to achieve them
I feel like I don’t want myself. It’s kinda like I have no faith or hope in myself
Ive been feeling really empty lately I can’t even cry I’m just empty I don’t sleep I don’t eat I don’t […]
I know it’s kind of dumb thinking this way. Like, it’s not my fault my dad was not the brightest bulb in the box and I know this. But I hate him for doing this to me.
Maybe it’s me over-thinking things but, from my knowledge and knowing serverl people with disorders physical and mental as well as having researched it extensively.. I just can’t help but think that my father, and his stupied genes gave me all these worries. Hell, my half sister and half brother are even worse than I am after he got married to a lady whose bulb seems to be on […]
Hi I’m an 18 year old college student who is going through a lifetime of stress, depression, and anxiety. Depression has always been a factor in my life, for I have been depressed for six years now and find no way out. Although I am a very smart individual and have a great circle of friends who care for me, I have issues with opening up with people. I struggle with telling others of how I truly feel because I believe that they truly wouldn’t care, is it wrong to believe that individuals only care for their self being? I am constantly abusing drugs and […]
I simply can’t think of any words that could save you.
Well hey people of the Suicide Project….. Its me again . Ive posted before about the loss of my GF of two years due to my family . I’ve raised a wonderful kid in that relationship he’s 5 now and reading im proud of him ….. Its been a month since the last time i saw my (Ex) and i still miss her & little man everyday . I know she wont take me back . We got along so well never argued and always laughed with eachother….. Love her more than life itself . Which speaking of life ….i dont see a point anymore […]
Relationships, they never have been my strong suit. I don’t know if it’s me, or it’s the people I date but my relationships always end with me broken. Somehow though, after every time i’m broken I manage to pick myself up. This last one though, has really been screwing with my head. I ended it myself, but it didn’t hurt any less than if he was the one to break it off. He hurt me, over and over, but I stayed because I didn’t have anyone else. Who would’ve thought, that my most successful relationship that I’ve ever had would be my worse? Why? Of […]
What’s the point of living in this bullshit world we call reality? When I can go to these “fantasy” worlds of my own creation and have experiences so much more vivid and engaging than anything I’ve ever experienced in this “reality”? Hate, sadness, fear, happiness; they all are so much more clearer there than in this place. I can be the hero I’ve always wanted to be there as well. It’s a win-win situation. Why does this “reality” have to be so messy? I just hate it so much. I would love to just sit by in my “fantasy” worlds and watch this “reality” pass […]
I just have no idea what to do anymore. I don’t want to be alive anymore but I can’t kill myself because anytime I think about doing it and how much I just don’t want to be forced to live on this rock, I see my parents and friends faces and how sad they’d be. This always brings a sense of hopelessness, I can’t die, I don’t wanna be here but I have to be so fuck what do I do. I’ve never felt like I belong anywhere on this whole world and constantly feel homesick for a place that I’m losing hope I could […]
I want to hurt myself almost everyday. The main thing that keeps me from hurting myself is that I don’t want to end up in the mental hospital again. All of my mental hospital visits have been bad or outright traumatic thus far.
So many times, I get so upset at myself that I want to bang my head against the wall. I think “You’re stupid, worthless piece of s***!” and yell at myself and I cry because of how much I hate myself and can’t stand being alive. I have hurt myself by hitting my head before, usually when I was already in a mental […]
There are few theories explaining how life came about, then there’s the most senseless one in my opinion and is widely regarded as true: Creation. I cannot dismiss its possibility though. If it’s true however, then its the saddest reality in my opinion, it shows that there’s a greater “evil” than we actually witness in the world, there’s the most wicked entity and that entity is the one responsible for creation therefore all that we come across, that repulsive; spiteful and vile entity is god. For all my life I’ve never experienced true happiness, and the situation gets worse with time. I tried […]
I don’t know how i didn’t decide to end it today like i told myself i would . This December has been extremely hard on me . I’ve lost my girlfriend who deeply loved …due to family calling her nasty names ect and for two years we were together . I helped raise a child that wasnt mine but cared so much for him . My story is basically a bad break up …. That we ended on good terms but not by my choosing my family destroyed it . She couldnt take it anymore as she was crying on the phone with the names […]
I love how my dad decides to be a father whenever he feels like it
He expects me to take care of his family, problem is I can’t even take care of myself
he just ignores the fact that he has responsibilities and just shitting mad at me for not doing his shit and doesn’t think that what he’s doing is wrong. He never admits that he’s wrong.
I feel like my mom loves him out of fear if that makes sense she would never have the courage to leave him
we just got a new baby sister and my dad made me spend the hospital nights with my […]
that is it. I had enough.
I had enough of this kind of life.
I screwed up a few times. other times I got screw over.
Im fucked up.
I want to be soulless. I want to be with out feelings
I want to be a fucking robot.
I don’t want to communicate. I don’t want to love, to cry, to be mad.
God. If you are out there, when I wake up tomorrow morning, please wake me up feeling less.
Please help me become this hollow shell.
Why would you take away from me so much, without taking my feelings too? […]