Can anyone tell me what a soul mate really is? I’ve been praying for signs that could point out if he’s the one that God had sent. But I can’t figure out if those signs were God’s. I’m an overthinker. So…there might be some kind of coincidences…my imagination or some sort of other factor that mixed along with the signs. How would I know if he’s the one?
Rants
My life is such that the only thing I look forward to is sleep. In my dreams I am free of everything including gravity. Sweet dreams where I am hero. I awake sometimes in tears because of the simple fact that I woke up. I long for an eternal sleep. Hero forever
So, yeah, today’s my high school prom and shit, and I didn’t go. I thought it probably was the best decision I could’ve made since nobody really cares if I’m there or not. However I’m being slowly taken by a feeling of regret, which is ironic since not going was my decision and mine alone. My parents don’t even know there is a prom right now. I don’t even know anymore.
In junior high school my parents forced me into going to the prom. I absolutely hated it, and decided I wouldn’t go to another party like that. And now that I’m rotting at home I’m […]
My suicide note. I’m still working on it. I’m still waiting for help even though I know I’m only fake hoping. I don’t have a purpose anymore. Living is a torture every single day. I set myself a date. I planned everything. I’m pretty hopeless.
Anyways. Here you go, enjoy? I don’t know. Do whatever you want to do with this:
Hey. It’s me. I’m that shitty girl who killed herself because she’s a weak-ass depressed kid who’s only great at complaining and seeking for attention. You probably heard about me now, you’re probably gossiping about it. Anyways, I’m writing this letter because soon enough I’ll be […]
It was depression that killed the remaining happiness I had left, but it was the same thing that keeps me going. Most of the time? I just want to die, to disappear until there are no ashes, no trace of my existence would be left. To be just nothing, as I am now. But the nothingness wouldn’t be overwhelming. As if I never existed. I always think that life was just a joke that I had to deal with. It’s like a prank I need to face everyday. The more I encounter it, the more it makes me sick. Then later on I wouldn’t notice […]
Lately I have been getting worse and the suicidal thoughts have been coming back into my head. I write poems when I feel depressed, so I just wanted to share this one, I wrote a couple nights ago.
The pain it stays
Sometimes for days and days
I feel death is looming
Feeling like I can’t do this anymore
Maybe it’s time for me to exit through the door
I am broken
I am broke
All they will ever say
“She couldn’t handle it”
Maybe its time
Time to say goodbye
Fall into the darkness
Say goodbye
Sorry mum
Sorry I was so weak
You deserved better
The family deserved better
I thought I deserved better
Turns out I didn’t deserve anything
Been suffering from chest pains since this morning. I’ve said nothing to no one about it. Maybe there is a God and it’ll be a heart attack. Let’s keep our fingers crossed. Wish me luck guys.
I was a bit sceptical about this site at first. Then I read every post and thought to myself that I’m not alone. I was desperate to fix everything. I was hurt to see others hurt. I tried my best to help them and in the mean time I struggle with own troubles. I HATE to say this…but I HATE that particular person. And I HATE myself for hating her. I hate that I have to admit that I’m weak….I’m insecure. I hate everything. I live for years coping with anxiety and depression.
I met with several counsellors in my life. Now I’m 20 years old […]
I’ve been suicidal for a good few months. There’s no actual cause of my depression but circumstances make it 10x worse obviously. And it started back up after I quit my job, and then everything went down hill but what made it worse it seems is when I heard about a boy I had met briefly shot himself. When I heard about him shooting himself, i became obsessed with the idea of shooting myself, and ever since then, it would pop up from time to time but recently has gotten worse.
I don’t have a gun nor am I going to get one. I’ve been […]
I am stuck between wanting to die and not wanting to die. I think i’m a living paradox. A messy paradox. I don’t know but I’m scared of the possibilities that each has. I don’t want to live in this selfish world anymore but i don’t want to be selfish too just because I want to die and leave this cruel place. I’ve been Having suicidal, anxious, and depressing thoughts for years and I just wanted it to stop. Everyday is Like a triP to a dark forbidden forest, and a day with an endless rain. It’s as if I’m drowning in a pool of […]
I can’t breathe even if i want to
Helpless, I drowned in the sea of questions
Will there be another tomorrow?
Will there be no more sorrow?
Will there be a love left for me to borrow?
I got hired. How the fuck did I get hired for a job, where I purposely tried to fail the interview? Either they’re desperate, or I suck at failing. I could just turn this job down, but I hope to get some dough to go to truck driving school, but even that is wishful thinking. Silly girl, still thinking that you’re going to go somewhere in life. Just wait, my parents will ruin it. How dare me try to make something of myself. Truck driving sounds more awesome than being a nurse, which my parents didn’t support either. They just want me working mediocre jobs […]
Why not is my answer, the question? oh that’s why should someone want to kill themselves.
I have for as long as I can recall wondered hey, what’s the point. Still, at 42 years of age I really do not get it. Some clever clogs who went to university will claim I am depressed and should take some tablets or go to therapy but that’s just an easy get out. I have done that and nothings changed.
I am as I type this neither under the influence of drugs, alcohol or any other stimulant that may alter the mind of a so called normal person so […]
PLEASE READ…
I know my own little segment I am about to write may be pointless to most people, but I want to share my story to some people. To all those people, learning how to tie a noose, or learning what you can drink to die faster, or even learning the best pill to take to end your life, please don’t. As a child of suicide, I’ve come to realize how goddamn pointless other people’s pleas to not end your life can be. I mean, I tried to end my life a total of 10 or 11 times, I really stopped keeping track after the […]
This is a hard topic for me to talk about. I have never told anyone before, but I need to know. I noticed that I have been looking online a lot for pornography and sex videos, and I have had sex, but I dream about it a lot. I am a teenage guy and I am wondering if it is normal or if I do it for self harm. I am started to get blisters and a rash around my area and it is painful, but I can’t stop. I what to have sex, but since I can’t, I feel sad and lonely. Is there […]
Ever since I was a little girl I always asked questions about my little sister.. The sister my mother gave up for adoption. Our mother was a drug addict who chose men over her kids and is STILL continues doing drugs. my life was very rough but I was always the type to wish for a happily ever after… So I made excuses after excuses for my mom. She got pregnant not to long after she gave my sister up for adoption but abused pills which led to a stillborn.. My other baby sister Seirra (May she Rest with the angels) … My mother then […]
Other people, unpredictability, and lack of any coherent plan on behalf on a single human being I have ever depended upon.
Those are a short grouping of the overall things that will someday (probably soon) slip a pretty little……
I’m not going to talk about that. Point is, method decided upon. Point is if someone wasn’t coming home in an hour and I could find a decent place to hide my body I would do it. Because no on fucking cares about my recovery. They all fucking care that I don’t exit. Oh yes, plenty of care and love when I threaten. It’s like I have a […]
I don’t know if i have anger issues but i do know that i get irritated too often and i just feel so bad that my head itches and i just have this strong urge to hit my head on wall and throw things. I do hit my head sometimes but when i do i would feel anxious because my roommate is beside me so i just cut things like my hair and paper and maybe burn some things too to ease whatever im feeling inside. AM I CRAZY?
I’ve recently decided to commit suicide. Im comfortable with this decision and Im excited to take the journey into the great unknown. I’ve recently made a shitfest of my life and there’s no fixing it at this point. The pain Ive caused and the pain Ive felt are just unfixable.
To preface all of this, I used to be a heroin addict. Ive been clean for 3 years but I still get withdrawals from time to time.
Two years ago I met a girl. She was great. We clicked right off the bat. Started going out and she got pregnant within a month. She left the […]
Fisrt of all I’m not proud of this. I’ve never thought I would be publishing something in a page like this. I guess there’s a first time for everything.
Second, I’m spanish that’s why my grammar sucks, pretty much that.
I have no idea where should I start. I’ve been depressed for a lot of years, I tried to kill myself a couple of times but I didn’t suceed.
Background:
My parents are not together, they divorced when I was eight. My mother started returning really late from work, kids started bullying me at school, but I could handle it, until I was twelve. My father was getting married […]