I’ve lost hope in my life ever turning around again. My mother has been abusive to me for years now and no one ever listens. I’ve been trying to get out of the house for years now. I’ve talked to social workers many times. It never works. I’m not in a good place. I only have about a year and a half left at home but it’s still hard. I don’t know if I can handle living on much longer. The only one who actually messages me to make sure I’m okay is my brother in law who lives two states away. No one else […]
I’ve really let myself go. I was at my ideal weight when I was a teen I was 160, and I am big bone, so 145 to 160 is ideal. I loved eating healthy and exercising, and I did all forms such as pilates, yoga, weight lifting, and cardio. I also had the teen metabolism, so I could a whole medium pizza from Domino’s once in a while and still run all over the place. I was lacto oavo vegetarian too, so again I ate these weird but healthy foods such soy milk, or sea weed. Not only I was I thin, but apparently I […]
after years of suffering, it’s getting good at last.
i think i’m feeling happy and it seems to last for a while. the question here is, why did God tortured me like that?
i know that the day would come that everything will turn upside down again and i will feel down and suicidal -since no happiness is everlasting and no sadness, too- and i think that i’m not ready for that day.
i definitely feel stronger than before all these things happened to me – i don’t really want to say what i’m referring to by “these” – but i don’t like the idea of being put […]
Hi guys,
I thought I should be a leaning shoulder to several people out there willing to put an abrupt end to their lives.
Firstly, it is safe to say I have been down that road as well and I know exactly what it feels like to be empty and isolated. I held on to one string (scratch that, two strings actually) : my pregnant girlfriend and God… If my girlfriend wasn’t pregnant, I probably wouldn’t be writing this today because I wouldn’t have anything/anyone to look back to… She loves me too much to hurt her. Then, God! I remembered everything they said about suicide, how […]
According to the site’s FAQs, if there are multiple posts in a row, then they will be all? deleted. The site recommends one post per day for the maximum. I love being on here, and being able to write my honest thoughts and feelings, and have a thoughtful audience to engage if they feel like it. It helps to relieve my stress and depression, which it starting to get better. Thank-you, guys.
Topic:
I always had a theory about purpose of the outcast, the person the majority doesn’t like, so they mess with him or her. Don’t think theory more like a thought is the right word. […]
As if it wasn’t already a ***** enough. Fuck sakes you deal with the trivialities daily. The unending grind and minutiae. The milieu of reckless absolvency. Fuck, you go from the boredom to the banality. It’s all stupid shit.
Introduce the legal system or any of the bullshit bureaucracy into the fuckshow that is life and it becomes a whole new ball game. Fuck the legalities and hoops it makes you jump through. For real. Fuck incarceration.
Six weeks ago, on the Saturday, I put up a post that I had given up and was going to end it.
However, my conscience got the better of me, and I stepped back from the brink (quite literally, as I had a noose around my neck and was ready to jump) and reached out once more. Some of you here supported me wonderfully, and for that I am really grateful.
My psychiatrist upped one of my meds, and prescribed me some sleeping meds, and that was part of what helped me, as it gave me the breathing space and strength to tackle some really gnarly psychological […]
I’m irritated to say I’m writing about this particular “friend” again. I’m beyond angry with him. If you don’t know we and him have a history of “love” together. The last time I hung out with him he was kissing me on the cheek, cuddling with me, laying on my leg/ chest and jealously asking about my love life. Which to me seemed as thoughts still like me but boy was I fucking wrong.
Today I found out that he lead me on and fucked me over for my sister. At first he refused to tell me, saying I would be mad at him forever. Damn […]
I don’t want to say goodbye. I want to reach out to others and remember where I came from. If I don’t do that then I feel like I’d be just as bad as those who didn’t help me.
I’ve been depressed for 7-8 years. That’s off and on. I know people who have had it worse. This last episode lasted almost a year. That’s about 7 months falling into a hole, and 6 months currently climbing back out.
The last few weeks have brought many changes. I finally got a good therapist. I have returned to church. I’m starting to do things I enjoy again. The […]
He is in the CCU and he tried to slit his wrist open and failed. He almost died he is in the hospital. Sorry for the death the hospital just called and said he is in critical condition.
loremaster82@gmail.com if any questions
I’m gonna do it from me to humanity hold on and don’t give up stay strong.
It will be rope this time
Hey ya’ll
I’m not sure if anyone remembers me, because I only posted two times. But here I am again.
To catch up on my life currently, last August (august 1st 2016) I tried to kill myself, on July 29th I posted my goodbyes to the world on this site. Thankyou so much for the kind words that night. And well I took the pills I had (all but like 5 of them, because I ran out of water). And I lied down on the floor to die.
And yes, I did take enough to kill myself, and I would of died if I didn’t call 911. I […]
Today I attempted to kill myself by overheating in the car. I drove to school, parked in the lot and didn’t get out. I was sitting in there for over an hour and a half. The only reason why I’m here now was because my best friend saved me. I texted him as I was sitting in the car telling him about how much I was sorry and how I appreciated him a lot for all he has done. I was practically telling him goodbye.. He got worried (I think as any other great friend would do in this situation) and asked me were I […]
Dear SuicideProject,
I have been struggling with rapid cycling bipolar now for almost 4 years.
These 4 years where the longest and worse years of my life.
I lost interest in hobbies lost allot of friends and ended up in a psychiatric communitie home with 24h nursing it sucks.
I have this small room to myself and im spending more and more time alone my old friends are all gone moving on starting families or building a nice career or future.
Now im here all alone stuck alone hopeless with no plan for a future I been suicidal now for a couple of weeks I just […]
I hope you are doing okay, and it is okay if you are not.
Sometimes I do not feel okay, and I almost ended my life because of it.
I have allowed myself to heal for three years before making the decision to share my story. This is not easy; the feeling of being vulnerable is hard to swallow, but I have accepted the social ramifications of allowing myself to open up publicly. I want to help others by sharing my experience because I know how it can feel to be alone. This piece carries a heavy trigger warning.
At some point, simple tasks became overwhelming and I […]
It’s funny how the people you were closest to can forgot you so fast, move on like you were never here.
It’s somewhat comforting at the same time because I now know that when I leave, I’ll be forgotten just as fast.
I think about him everyday. He left me broken.
As we try to survive in this world we live in
We seek out meaning for the life that was given
Some search for it their entire youth
Yet little find it or see the truth
Majority give up when all hope is lost
Others are consumed by the lies they came across
We all believe it gets better after it gets worse
But those words do not apply on this curse
Even if we tried to satisfy every need
There is no cure for one’s greed
It destroys us like a cancer
I haven’t been on here for a while because of work. My back sore from sweeping soil and my feet are forming blisters. Last night, I had a dream that I had two sons. Hopefully this is a prophecy, but highly not. I will never get my ducks in a row. Besides, I know people have hinted that I shouldn’t have kids. I can tell if I brought them into this world, people will be ready to tear them apart. I know they want me gone, they’re too much of a ***** to admit it.
I sometimes get baby fever. It can also get bad when […]
Today I saw my psychiatrist. Eventually I told him what happened (well, nearly happened) on Saturday. He too, like my psychologist, immediately wanted to admit me. To his credit, he didn’t force me but respected my choice to not go back into hospital. He said that the situation was just short of where he would have been both legally obliged and able to force me into hospital, as in – if I had been in immediate danger.
He made it very clear that he would have much preferred if I went. But thanks to the trust we’ve built up over the years (he’s been treating me […]
Well apparently, this is the second time around. I came looking for relief and ended up gaining more fear and confusion. Let me explain…
I’m currently struggling with a lot. I’m severely depressed and am afraid to go to a doctor to be diagnosed or medicated. I mean, my mom’s a psych nurse, for Christ’s sake. She’d know if there was something wrong with me, right? I can’t bear to face her for fear of her sending me to the ward. How embarrassing would that be for her?
I’ve had nights where I can’t sleep, just dreams of me finding happiness in finding a loose razor or […]